Why would you even say that.

[Louise_B]

Most of you may know about the the background of me and my so (how we met and how long we known eachother etc).

So if you do know you'll know it took him 5 years for me to finally give in and give him a chance. I aint no bitch or nothing its just when we first started talking 5 years ago, i was only 16 i was a kid! !so there was no way in hell i could go and visit him or him come and visit without my parents going off the wall about it. Plus internet dating wasnt really 'BIG' back then!

But dispite all that we are finally together and i am madly inlove with him, in just 5 days ill be jumping on a plane and going to visit him in Kansas, My Mum and Brother are VERY supportive of me, My dad and my elfest brother not so much but whatever i'm happy thats all that matters.

So last night we were having a conversation on FaceTime and we was speaking about how he wants me to move over and stuff. Then out of nowhere he was turns and says to me;

'If i'm honest, I know it won't work between us. I give it until ... October and we wont be together no more. Relationships go through the toughest parts within 9 months and i know by October it will be over'

as you can imagine i was thrown off by this and i tried reasurring him that we will be fine because i think the world of him and i love him to bits! and THEN he came out with something along the lines of

'Bullshit, no matter what you say it aint going to convince me its going to work.'

He then went on to ask me why alll of sudden i want to know him know when i didnt throughout the 5 year we have known eachother, Even though i tell him over and over again why. He ended the whole conversation with

'You do know when you get here i will embarrass you infront of everyone with how you didnt want to know me for 5 years'

Then it was the normal end to our Facetime, I love yous, cant wait to see you BLA BLA BLA!!. I texted him saying i was pretty bummed after that conversation and its upset me a little. and i told him that where his told me he wont believe a word i say we will just have to take each day as it comes. I then woke up to a text message saying ' Maybe we should just give up then '

Is this last minute nervs? Insecurites? he is still punishing me for not falling for him sooner? I dont even know what to sugguest his doing. But why say this when in 5 days ill be flying to him! His upset me so much with the remarks he made. i honest dont know what to think

[Tooki]

He's probably just nervous, if this sort of behaviour is not normal for him. I remember how crazy it was for me when I was going to fly across the world and stay with a girl and her family for 3 weeks.

Have a good talk to him about this. He's talking out of his arse.

[lucybelle]

That's pretty fucked up. You really need to talk about how that hurt your feelings. If he has a defeatist attitude of course the relationship won't last!

[Louise_B]

He's probably just nervous, if this sort of behaviour is not normal for him.

Its not the sort of behaviour ive been in him no, Dont get me wrong now and then he teases me with the fact it took him 5 years to get me and we laugh it off and sometimes it does upset me because i feel bad that i never took noticed and tried before!

If he has a defeatist attitude of course the relationship won't last!

This is exactly what i was thinking, Its like his just going along with it and thinking what the heck its going to end anyways. It just makes me feel shit because all the time i tell him how much he means to me and all along his been thinking 'bullshit' :/ im waiting for him to wake up before i can talk to him

[Captivated]

Wtf? That's pretty unusual. Maybe he's testing you? Like he doesn't really believe this is happening - nerves etc. I hope he's just bsing...that's a crappy thing to say a week before you take off to see him.

[Safihre]

It's the nerves.
Me and my SO even decided for our last 2 visits to not speak to each other the week leading up to the visit because both of us just started overthinking impossible doom-scenarios in the last days out of nerves.
Just wait the 5 days and don't make a big deal about it. You can talk about it, but do it when you are together. Skype/Facetime seems real, but when you really are together is when you can truly talk and figure things out.

Just 5 days.. lucky lucky you!!

[ThePiedPiper]

I would say that if this isn't normal behaviour, it's nerves. My ex and I bickered every day leading up to a visit some times. Nerves do funny things to you.

[abna1]

Wtf? That's pretty unusual. Maybe he's testing you? Like he doesn't really believe this is happening - nerves etc. I hope he's just bsing...that's a crappy thing to say a week before you take off to see him.

!!!

I do agree with the posters before me. It must be nerves. You've both been looking forward to this trip so much. It's only a week away and it will be your first meeting. Maybe he's worried that you won't like him as much in person ?!
He can be worried and nervous (that would be normal) but he should have probably kept it to himself as long as there is no reason for it yet. (If it comes out the way it did, that is)

[Louise_B]

I Honestly dont know what to think .. His been up for like an hour now, Keeps going active on facebook and whatsapp but hasnt bothered dropping me a text or anything.

[Safihre]

I Honestly dont know what to think .. His been up for like an hour now, Keeps going active on facebook and whatsapp but hasnt bothered dropping me a text or anything.

Don't stress out! I've been there.. Just give him some time. The ticket is booked and he's not going to back out.
Welcome to the major downsides of LDR.. You can't just see him in person and read from body language what's actually going on.
Go do something else to distract you. It will be fine!

[Louise_B]

Don't stress out! I've been there.. Just give him some time. The ticket is booked and he's not going to back out.
Welcome to the major downsides of LDR.. You can't just see him in person and read from body language what's actually going on.
Go do something else to distract you. It will be fine!

I'm at work. Its a sunday so no famous brilliant people are arriving at the hotel so im just sat in the office on here LOL.
I'm leaving him bee and letting him speak to me when his ready (whenever that may be) but how long so i really leave it? 4 days tomorrow.
Yeah i know the flight is booked and stuff but i would like for things to be ok before i went over. :/ Ugh

[Black_Halloween]

I think its just nerves with a side of insecurity. He thinks you're going to back out of it so he's putting a wall up to soften the blow. Just let him be and keep telling him how excited you are.

[JoeyBug]

I agree with everyone else who is telling you that as long as this kind of thing isn't normally how he is, then it's probably just nerves. Everyone reacts differently to meeting someone for the first time when there are these kind of feelings involved. I hope everything goes great with your visit and if you need to chat, PM me

[ST25]

Awww, he's probably nervous about seeing you. It happens whenever it gets real close to the actual meeting, so he will most likely come back down to earth once you guys actually meet. If he's not talking right now, don't fret too much as he might be thinking over what he said to you earlier and doesn't want to aggravate the situation further.

[ThePiedPiper]

I think its just nerves with a side of insecurity. He thinks you're going to back out of it so he's putting a wall up to soften the blow. Just let him be and keep telling him how excited you are.

I agree. My guess would be you don't need to give him space, but you also don't need to talk him to death over this one either. Breathe and let it go. Everything is more heightened at this point and he might be feeling insecure because it took you 5 years to want to give him a shot. Maybe he's feeling insecure as a result of the fact that it's been so long and this is the first time he's meeting you? That's a lot of pressure! It's not anything you can help him with but you should know from the myriad posts here about it on LFAD that first visits, even repeat visits, are always nerve-wracking. I believe there was a thread on here at some point too asking how normal it was to fight before a visit and 99% of the population admitted that they bickered more pre-visit.