Things are getting tough-help

[makenziewilder]

Hi everyone!

This is pretty much my story:

My boyfriend and I met in school about 2 years ago. Since the moment we met we had this instant connection, like magnets were pulling us together, however we were young (14 years old) and didn't know what to make of it. We began talking and about a month later began dating. For the past two years we have had the most incredible relationship filled with love and happiness. He is such a kind, gentle and loving person and we love each other both dearly.

Since I was 11 years old I've also been very passionate about acting, which leads me to the LDR part of my story. My boyfriend has always been so supportive of my passion and after much success in the local market I decided to make the move to Los Angeles to follow my dream.

My boyfriend and I didn't even question whether or not to begin a long distance relationship, we were clearly too in love to even imagine breaking up. So in January of this year I left for Los Angeles and left behind the love of my life. With plans to visit often and in two years go to college in California, my boyfriend and I said our goodbyes.

Things had been going fantastic up until about two weeks ago. Of course we had had our moments of extreme loneliness, but for some reason this bout is worse, way worse. My boyfriend has begun questioning whether or not he can take this any longer... However, we haven't been doing anything to make the distance easier (ie calling each other, skyping, games). When I try to talk to him about this all he says is that he loves me with all of his heart and soul and can't imagine losing me, but that he wishes I was back home with him again.

My question to all of you more experienced LDR's is: has this happened to you before? If so how did you get over this feeling? What ways do you find make the distance easiest?

I know that my boyfriend and I are young, and many of you may think that we are naive, but I guess that old saying of "When you know... You know" is true.

-Makenzie

[LadyDaemon]

Well I will start by saying that the fact that neither of you are attempting to make the distance easier by skyping,calling,texting,IMing etc. will put a strain on a LDR quick. When it comes to LDRs you need to communicate as much as possible via those ways as often as possible since the physical contact isn't there. Another thing would be to (if possible) figure out a way to make a visit to each other if you haven't had one in a while. I also suggest using skype and having virtual date nights or movie nights with each other when possible.

Sometimes the pressure of being in a LDR can be great,but it's not unmanageable. Another thing you and him can do is find things to distract yourselves so you're not always concentrating on how much you miss each other. Having things to occupy your time with will distract you from those feelings of loneliness and sadness. Also spend time with your friends and your family so you don't think about it all so much. It gets easier with time believe or not so long as the communication stays open between the both of you.

[Chris516]

Well I will start by saying that the fact that neither of you are attempting to make the distance easier by skyping,calling,texting,IMing etc. will put a strain on a LDR quick. When it comes to LDRs you need to communicate as much as possible via those ways as often as possible since the physical contact isn't there. Another thing would be to (if possible) figure out a way to make a visit to each other if you haven't had one in a while. I also suggest using skype and having virtual date nights or movie nights with each other when possible.

Sometimes the pressure of being in a LDR can be great,but it's not unmanageable. Another thing you and him can do is find things to distract yourselves so you're not always concentrating on how much you miss each other. Having things to occupy your time with will distract you from those feelings of loneliness and sadness. Also spend time with your friends and your family so you don't think about it all so much. It gets easier with time believe or not so long as the communication stays open between the both of you.

DITTO, I can't improve on this good advice.

[JoeyBug]

Well I will start by saying that the fact that neither of you are attempting to make the distance easier by skyping,calling,texting,IMing etc. will put a strain on a LDR quick. When it comes to LDRs you need to communicate as much as possible via those ways as often as possible since the physical contact isn't there. Another thing would be to (if possible) figure out a way to make a visit to each other if you haven't had one in a while. I also suggest using skype and having virtual date nights or movie nights with each other when possible.

Sometimes the pressure of being in a LDR can be great,but it's not unmanageable. Another thing you and him can do is find things to distract yourselves so you're not always concentrating on how much you miss each other. Having things to occupy your time with will distract you from those feelings of loneliness and sadness. Also spend time with your friends and your family so you don't think about it all so much. It gets easier with time believe or not so long as the communication stays open between the both of you.

^^ THIS is pretty much what I would say too. You need to be communicating in what ever ways work for you and keep the lines open for the both of you.

Good Luck

[Kristin91]

Well I will start by saying that the fact that neither of you are attempting to make the distance easier by skyping,calling,texting,IMing etc. will put a strain on a LDR quick. When it comes to LDRs you need to communicate as much as possible via those ways as often as possible since the physical contact isn't there. Another thing would be to (if possible) figure out a way to make a visit to each other if you haven't had one in a while. I also suggest using skype and having virtual date nights or movie nights with each other when possible.

Sometimes the pressure of being in a LDR can be great,but it's not unmanageable. Another thing you and him can do is find things to distract yourselves so you're not always concentrating on how much you miss each other. Having things to occupy your time with will distract you from those feelings of loneliness and sadness. Also spend time with your friends and your family so you don't think about it all so much. It gets easier with time believe or not so long as the communication stays open between the both of you.

I also agree with this. You have to do those things that help your relationship thrive in a LDR (skype, phone calls, playing online games, etc.). It makes the distance a lot less lonely and you're able to be "with" your SO and enjoy some time together. Look around the site, there are tons of suggestions for different things to do online, over skype, etc. together.