Busy Busy LDR Boyfriend and Bored Me.

[jsrichards]

I am in some need of advice and I'm hoping someone out there can help. This is my first long distance relationship ever and it's been going pretty well so far, but lately my boyfriend has been extremely busy. It seems like he hardly had anytime for me, his phone is on the fritz and he can't get on the computer because he is occupied with school work. I am really missing him right now and wish he would atleast text me something. I guess the fact that I have nothing to do in my house except surf the internet but I honestly don't know what to do. This may seem like a dumb post or thread but I do need someone's advice because none of my friends have ever been in a LDR before ( or atleast they've never lasted this long ). Well if you reading this, I guess you took some of your precious time to read a bit bout my life, so thank you.

[Dramos99]

dont even stress i get like this too, my life is just all about school and my SO, i just try to keep myself busy when she is busy, she is very involved in school and such so there is always a few days where we hardly get to talk which i hate because i have alot of free time on my hands, do anything that takes your mind off it, draw listen to music anything will do the trick a good one that i do is write a song, its very easy and its a great way to express yourself. just keep yourself busy and try not to think so much about missing him, i know thats hard to do

[fcbella]

I guess the fact that I have nothing to do in my house except surf the internet but I honestly don't know what to do.

Yup... sounds to me like you have to pull yourself away from your computer from time to time! What kind of things do you do online?? If games, maybe use a console. Reading? Go to the library or a local park to read. Enjoy photo's.. maybe go out and take some of your own?

There have been many times I have gone to my local park to read, take pics, etc.. things that get me out of the house! I have friends in town, but they are also my coworkers with very busy families.. so I had to find things to do alone that don't necessarily rely on the computer (or I'd find myself sitting here and waiting for Steve to come online).

I know at my local library they actually have computers for gaming.. I use it for family tree research. I could easily do my research at home, but like I said.. it's nice to get out of the house

Oh.. I also try to go to the movies once a month.. Alone! It's fantastic. I can buy whatever snacks I want, watch whatever movie I want, Sit wherever I want! lol I love it!

[Rane]

When I start feeling really lonely in my relationship, I like to do something for my fiancee to show her I care about her. Send her an email just to tell her how wonderful she is. Maybe get off the computer and make something so that you could send your guy some snail mail? I'm personally not totally artsy lol, so when I make something, it ends up being more wordy like. But just that it's hand made, or hand written, just makes such a world of difference. And also taking that time to do something for to let him know you're thinking about him just strengthens your relationship.

I know also that when I'm getting really busy, I can get negligent on my emailing. >.> Maybe you could if you wanted to think about telling him how wonderful just a small email inbetween his work would mean to you? Just a thought!

[Tanja]

Get off your computer and go out, see your friends, go shopping, try some new cooking, read, draw, watch a movie, do whatever you can to get your mind off of him and keep you busy, that will make you miss him less and make the time go faster! Trust me, it works and we all have the same problem sometimes!

[Taija]

I'm just like that. I never leave the house (except to see my psychiatrist once in a while) and although my boyfriend isn't exactly a busy person, I do feel a sting of jealousy every time he goes do something with his friends. But I just need to remember that it's not his fault and it's better that he has something to do to get his mind off of the distance.

[maja]

probably sign up for some classes in a new your language (your SOs if hes from another country) or soemthing else like photgraphy or something like that, something fun that you will enjoy doing and spending ur time on other than this, you can always go outside and do fun stuff, e.g. we have a really really cold winter this year and the huge lake in the city centre is frozen for the first time in 13 years, so we go iceskating and play ice hockey as often as possible. also, i love to go to the movies with friends and discussing the movies afterwards. or, simple as it is, you can always go out and party a bit to get ur mind of things and have some fun (not too much though, seeing as that recently pretty much fucked up my relationship).

[Elena]

I sometimes have this problem too (of being stuck in front of the computer hoping to talk to my SO), so thanks for all your ideas!

[ioanna]

i have come across this problem very often, either when my SO is busy, or just because he's asleep and im working on the computer (we have a 10 hours time difference).... i have tried learning things, going out with friends or watching tv, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt, and sometimes you just cant afford going out or signing up for something...
one idea i find is a good compromise is that i work on something for him as a future surprise, craft wise... it gives me great satisfaction, because im spending time on us and thinking about him, without him having to be there with me, and without feeling the need to have him there because it would spoil the surprise : p
hope this helps

[Rach321]

I actually do a lot of things alone that people normally wouldn't. I go to the movies, eat out a restaurants, go for a walk/hike. I really enjoy this time- I will usually call my boyfriend to let him know what I'm doing and tell him that I wish he were there with me. He is busy a lot too, so it is difficult for us to plan "date nights" over the phone/internet. So sometimes I'll just do the things that I would want to do with him by myself. It can feel a bit awkward at first, but eventually it's really fun. I agree- I find myself spending a lot of time online or in front of the TV when I'm feeling lonely. I've been trying to avoid it, but it's easy to get into that pattern. I've heard there are programs you can download to actually limit your time online or on certain websites (after time is up, you cannot enter the site again until the next day or a few hours later). But I haven't tried them yet. It may get to that point though... I really want to start working out and make it a habit.

[Alisz]

I understand what you're saying. This year so far I've been stuck at home with nothing to do and it has been driving me crazy XD I injured myself, so it's been difficult to get around. If it wasn't winter out I could go out, but since it is, the pain isn't worth it. Not that I'd be going out much anyways. It's a hazard to my bank account. At least online S&H fees usually stop me from shopping. :P But my boyfriend works a 9-5 job M-F, so it gets a bit boring athome. He has access to the internet, but he's still at work, so his focus isn't always on our conversation.

I echo what has been suggested so far. I busy myself lately with creating a care package to send him for Valentine's Day and our anniversary. I look up things I might want to do when it gets warmer out (like classes I could take). I might play some video games, but usually I do that at night. If all else fails, I'll break out the karaoke. Sometimes I'll record songs for my boyfriend or I'll just sing for fun and it passes the time.

I'm also guilty of telling my boyfriend I wish I could see him more. We tell each other everything that's on our minds and sometimes that's on mine. The answer is always the same. He can't help it and if he had the choice he'd spend all his time with me. He pretty much spends all his freetime with me, but it's what he wants to do. I understand, and sometimes my need to spend more time with him is to make up for the fact he's far away.