Communication

[StephyJoyKerns]

My boyfriend and I having been some slight communication problems and I was wondering if anyone had some advice for us. We've been in an LDR for 3 months and totally in love. We talk about some of our issues, but sometimes how we say things makes things worse or misunderstood. Help!?

[paulawriteslove]

Hmm, well I don't know much about your relationship. My boyfriend and I have great communication, and I guess the key is to tell your SO if anything is bothering you before everything clumps together and creates a big problem. And you have to be open minded and listen to your SO and try to work everything out. It's hard because you can't see each other to talk about what's bothering you, so you have to be patient and listen and try to figure out how to fix the problem.

[annamorgan]

I agree with paulawriteslove. Also, always present yourself in a calm and collected manner, try not to be raging and out of control!

[Casper]

If you guys are suffering a lot of misunderstands because of the way you say things, you might try writing out the issue in an email or something similar. Sometimes my SO and I will discuss the big issues and write a message as well just to really express our thoughts clearly.

[MTK]

Writing things down can definitely help, it can make you sort out your thoughts and maybe see things from a different perspective and even help you see how you can word things in a different way so it is not as easily misunderstood.
Of course after you have written about it you should still talk about the matter at hand to make completely sure that everything is settled.

[Rhiavaan]

We had communication problems until we started talking on Skype, now if we have something important to discuss we wait until we are on Skype or I will write my feelings in an email because so many things can be taken the wrong way just through text, especially if you do not think before you type.

[LadyMarchHare]

There are a lot of different communication problems. Are you two not talking as much or hiding things that are important? Are wires getting crossed because you're hearing something different than what they meant?

Usually if things aren't getting said/are difficult to say or there's an issue you can't seem to bring up when talking I tend to write them in a wordpad document to either use as a prompt or copy/paste it to them in bits. Once I even wrote a letter and mailed it but it was we aren't seeing much of each other these days and I didn't want to wait forever for the next online chance. If you guys are getting into little fights over stuff the key thing is to never go to them right when you hear about the issue and to take time to cool down, think rationally, and figure out what's important and what's just general 'fluff' attached to the issue. Learned that the hard way.

[StephyJoyKerns]

Thanks for all the help!!