LDR relapse

[Michelle7]

Hi,
My bf and I are truly in love we have told each other many times that the love we have is a love we have never experienced before. We have never loved anyone as much as we love each other, we have chemistry and a special connection. We stare into each others eyes and feel so connected, he claims looking into my eyes he feels and sees my soul. When we make love it is so intense that even before we have an orgasm we feel a strong warmth of love in each other that seals us together it feels like we are orgasming throughout our love making, this is incredible and something we have never experienced before. What we have is very rare. I believe we are twin soul mates we feel each others love in our LDR we even text and call each other at the same time. Every day in the morning we do a daily devotional together and close with a prayer in lifting each other up and our day up. We text and call each other through out the day. We meet up each evening on Skype to discuss a chapter in the Bible that we are reading (ie: we are in Acts and read a chapter each night and discuss it and how it relates to us individually). We highlight parts in the Bible that is meanigful to us indivdually and when we meet up at night to Skype and discuss we find out that we end up highlighting the same scripture each day. We have been doing this type of thing since we've been together since 12/29/2011.
We are both in recovery he had 1.5 years and I 1 year, he recently relapsed and now has been sober for a month now working the steps with a sponsor and attending meetings daily. This relapse has taken a toll on his living situation, finances, job and our relationship. I don't know if I am being selfish but he has been somewhat stressed lately and I am taking it personally. Things are not the same, what I mean is I don't feel the love we once had, this all saddens me and makes me feel really hurt and broken. I have discussed this with him and he says he is sorry he is stressed and that he did not realize that it is taking a toll on our relationship. I asked him if he wanted to take a break (which i really did not want) so he can get his life back in order (recovery, finances, job, child support and etc) he says no and that he loves me more than any other and he is going to work on balancing his life and stress. I just don't know how to respond and take this because it is so painful to see and feel that this is all causing a blockage in our relationship. What do I do?

[Moon]

First off, welcome to LFAD! Secondly, and don't take this the wrong way, but there are a lot of underage people here, you should put the orgasm stuff in the Adults Only section

That said, I have no personal experience with recovery and relapse (or the bible stuff for that matter), but I do know that relapse happens, and I think you have the right to feel disappointed, but if you truly have the feelings you've written about, you just have to be patient and come to terms with it. It's my understanding that recovery is a lifelong process, and it's highly likely mistakes will be made. You both have to be there to support each other through that, it's OK to feel disappointment when it happens, but treat him as you'd like to be treated, if it was you who relapsed. I think you just need time to process your feelings and get back to normal. Good luck.

[Goyangi]

My father is a recovering alcoholic, so a lot of what you're saying resonates with me.

I'd say, as far as advice goes, is continue to be supportive. I know it might not be feeling the same as it "used to be", but that's probably because he feels like a different person right now! Relapsing after a year and a half of progress can be mentally devastating. He probably feels like a failure. It's only been a month; I'd be more worried if he was still like this several months after the fact. And I'd say wanting to stay with you is a good sign. Remain loving and supportive, not just for the good times but for the bad ones, too.

[Michelle7]

thanks!!

[Black_Halloween]

I would like to point out that you need a certain number of posts to post in the adults section and that's why people post stuff on the main board. TBH I think that rule needs to change.

[LadyDaemon]

I would like to point out that you need a certain number of posts to post in the adults section and that's why people post stuff on the main board. TBH I think that rule needs to change.

You also have to have been here on the boards for 30 days.