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Am I Reading Into Things?

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    Am I Reading Into Things?

    hjshsthth

    #2
    Maybe she got really shaken by the incident with your ex and she's concerned about that, and that's why she's being distant. You should talk to her about all this, if you haven't already or do it again, to clear things up. Explain to her all these thoughts you are having that you've put into this post. Also, welcome to LFAD

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      #3
      First and foremost, welcome She might be concerned about moving because of her daughter and the ex incident could have shaken her up a bit. I think you should talk to her and make her feel better. Good luck!

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        #4
        She might hate the distance. I know, myself, I detest it. It eats at me and I find myself pulling back from my SO. Luckily he is understanding and we can usually discuss it.

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          #5
          I know this isn't what you're asking about, but this completely threw me off course when reading your post. Don't take this personally, but I'm a little concerned about her daughter's level of attachment to you so soon in the romantic relationship, already wanting to call you dad. And it's not anything to do with you, but it concerns me because if the relationship doesn't work out that's a whole world of hurt she doesn't deserve. As a child of divorce whose mother had some really inappropriate boyfriend behaviour, this really jumped out at me. You have to go slow when introducing an SO to a child. But that's not really something you can control, so I digress. (And hey, at least you and her daughter do get along!)

          I think you may just need to give her some time, since you've already talked about it. Keep doing what you're doing, try your best, and hopefully she will come around. It may just be a funk. Plus, I can definitely see complications with her trying to move with her child while the father is still in the picture, so she might have a lot on her mind. Just try and be patient and I hope it works out for both of you!

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            #6
            i am a divorced mom...with 2 kids. My BF also has 2 kids. LDR's are hard but it is sooo much harder when children are involved. I can guarntee that she is scared to move. I almost makes me wonder if she still is in love with her ex..her daughters dad or if she is scared of him. Scared that he will cause MAJOR issues for her and her daughter. I told my BF from the start that i won't move. And if he wanted to pursue a relationship with me, he will have to move to me. I have a CRAZY ex-husband, and he would do soooooo many things if I tried to move my kids out of state. I mean crazy things like make up stories about me, trying to prove that i wasn't a good mom, and try to take the kids away from me. But then the dynamic changed, the ex-husband is in jail, soon to be prison for 15 to life...so...i don't need to worry about that anymore.

            Just remember that with kids, things aren't just cut and dry..and if her ex is this way or could potentially be this way...she might not want to tell you, in fear of making you leave or something.

            I don't know...i kinda like a clingy guy, but some people don't. I like to be needed by someone. Is there a reason why you don't move to her? I didn't see that in your post. Maybe it would be easier to just move to her, then she won't have to move with her kids and what not...just a thought.

            Good luck, I also want to say, talk to her...if she can't understand or at least see where you are coming from or see the reason why you are upset about it...then uhh..i won't say it. But I hope it all works out in the end.

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