I missed something and the flower just died on me.

[Poloz7]

I would like to state that this might be far from what anyone would expect. We closed distance, we did things (a long variety of things) and at the end my head went somewhere away from her causing the losS of full attention and eventually losing her. my name is Erick. she broke up with me and she found a date within 2 months. When i met her she claimed that she couldn't say she loved me because it wasn't there just yet. meets this guy for a week or so and already calls him love. I feel sad. because i had so many questions and things to talk about. ..this is about the only place i could ever leave a msg and be heard by other people and gather feedback. I DID WRONG. I accept the consequences of my actions. But the logic behind the follow up events isn't clear. And the fact that i Still love this girl from TN ...with all my heart. Still there. She gave me a chance then took it away before i tried to fix anything.

How do i know i love her?...because i cant find anything else to fill the hole. mental and physical that she made in me. I learned my lessons, but i would love to get advice so this never happens again. feel free to msg me on Facebook dot com/Poloz7
or here if anything. I am confused...and all over the place.

Love knows no distance, does love know forgiveness? and second chances?

[LadyDaemon]

Ok for starters this isn't really something to make a poll about. So for future reference I'd just remand this to a regular text post and leave it at that.

Now,I'm not trying to be harsh but you messed up when you strayed from her. It doesn't matter what your problems were,you should've sorted them out with her and then if things continued as they were,leave her. There is NEVER an excuse to cheat on someone (which from what I'm gathering from your post is what happened,feel free to correct me if I'm wrong). If you really and I mean REALLY love someone then you stick it out and try to make it work,not run off to someone else.

She might have given you the chance and then retracted because she might've realized that her ability to forgive you after the fact just wasn't a plausible for her as she thought. That's not to say it will never happen,but not right now. That type of thing once it's done,it's done. It remains at the back of the mind and never goes away as much as we may want it to and then things nor feelings are ever quite the same. With time that may go away for her but for now it is what it is.

About her new boyfriend,it's possible that right now it's not what you think it is. Usually anyone that finds someone and starts going out with them in such a short amount of time after a breakup its because they're a rebound. You need to give her time and space and let her figure things out on her own and if she sees fit to try and fix things then let her come to you.

Advice so it never happens again,do not cheat. If there is a problem with your SO then you need to try all avenues first and stay with it until you no longer feel you can deal with it and then do the appropriate thing by breaking it off.

[Rugger]

You fucked up, simple as that. I wouldn't give you a second chance either, because cheating is a deal breaker for me. You didn't deserve a chance to fix it because it shouldn't have happened in the first place. It's not her fault, it's yours.

I don't think she's ever going to come back to you and you need to accept that. Chalk this one up to a learning experience and don't do it again.

About her new boyfriend, maybe it is a rebound, maybe it's not. Either way it's none of you business. You let someone come between you and she found someone else who can treat her right.

[Safihre]

Where does it say he cheated?

[lademoiselle]

at the end my head went somewhere away from her causing the lost of full attention and eventually losing her.

OP, I think it would be helpful if you could clarify what you mean by this part.

[Poloz7]

Where does it say he cheated?

Intuition, you can pull the actions out of subsequent events. I never said it, but it would be the only act to grant me with such bizarre shut down.

Thanks for asking. But no I did not cheat. It was the fear she had that i would, and the imminent proof i had given her of me being willing and able to do it. reasons were that she was in a bubble every time i needed her. (i did for a time wanted to purposely lose her) i didn't realize what i was doing until i was at the brink of losing her, it was like having the resolve to cut your own arm and then back off the idea when you feel the pain reaching on your muscles, but this was worst because she pulled me out of a hole and said it all would be worked out, then next thing i know is that i have no life support and my days are counted.

I am sorry this is not a sweet little story as it was a year ago (trust me. i wish i had the type to type all of it) but this about the only thing i can do to gather ideas on what to do with this hole i have had for a long time

Sorry my weird english.

[Black_Halloween]

You need to move on already, its been over a year. She's moved on and you need to too.

[ThePiedPiper]

Wait, so this all happened a year ago..? My suggestion would be to move on, then, because it's quite clear she has and regardless of what happened, you can't fix it without her consent. Like Rugger said, chalk it up to a learning experience. Even if you didn't cheat, sometimes the thing you need to do is figure out how to not only look forward but to move forward.

[LadyDaemon]

Wait, so this all happened a year ago..? My suggestion would be to move on, then, because it's quite clear she has and regardless of what happened, you can't fix it without her consent. Like Rugger said, chalk it up to a learning experience. Even if you didn't cheat, sometimes the thing you need to do is figure out how to not only look forward but to move forward.

This. and may I add that in future posts you don't talk in riddles,you just come out and say what happened.

[libelle]

Maybe someone better is waiting around the corner for you

[Poloz7]

I did not happen a year ago. where did you pull that from? all this happened in February.

[Poloz7]

I thank you all for the thoughs, i see then that is fair to get over some one in such short time (after claiming you love them so much). (a month after the plug from her)
Lesson is hardly learned from this one. I still got so many questions that need answer and it seems that people didnt understand my first post about what happened. I am sorry for wasting your time. Again, thanks.

[Ejoriah]

There is no "rule" on how long it takes someone to get over a relationship, no matter the intensity of the love. Some people take their time while others feel that the fastest way to get over someone is to find someone else. Likewise, love does not HAVE to forgive everything or give second chances. If what you've done is serious enough to be a deal breaker for her, then that's what it is.

The lesson you should learn is that if you do something to mess a relationship up, you have to deal with the consequences. Someone doesn't HAVE to give you a second chance just because of prior history.

[Hollandia]

I thank you all for the thoughs, i see then that is fair to get over some one in such short time (after claiming you love them so much). (a month after the plug from her)
Lesson is hardly learned from this one. I still got so many questions that need answer and it seems that people didnt understand my first post about what happened. I am sorry for wasting your time. Again, thanks.

Some of us here don't pull punches. We say what we perceive is the situation and make suggestions and advice about it. I am sorry you are still grieving this loss but if she has moved on, then it is over. I know it hurts and it is not something you can just get over immediately. If you do have more questions please feel free to post them again in a more specific way so that we can truly understand what you are asking and we can try to offer you some answers or some other form of support that you need.

[LadyDaemon]

Some of us here don't pull punches. We say what we perceive is the situation and make suggestions and advice about it. I am sorry you are still grieving this loss but if she has moved on, then it is over. I know it hurts and it is not something you can just get over immediately. If you do have more questions please feel free to post them again in a more specific way so that we can truly understand what you are asking and we can try to offer you some answers or some other form of support that you need.

All of this.