Third wheel?

[oxytocinbite]

I know people feeling like the third wheel are usually single but being in a long distance relationship seems worse in a way..

I am being made to tag along with my twin sister and her new bf, since my mum wants her to be safe. The thing is I can't help but feel like I may be upset or extremely bored.

We are going swimming at this river and I will just be by myself letting her do her thing...probably watch them hold hands and have fun.

I am trying not to get jealous, but it really sucks! We are leaving soon and I'm not looking forward to it. I didn't know I would feel this way when my twin is being happy with a new guy that lives pretty close..but the idea of them seeing each other pretty often when I have to wait another 4 or so months is painful.

I'm trying to push it aside, but has anyone ever felt like the third wheel?

[lademoiselle]

Not that I can remember, but to be honest I've never known many couples offline! Can you take something with you to do during the time you won't be in the water? A book to read, maybe? Or could you bring along a friend (unless it's too short notice/the others aren't comfortable with that)? Try to "make your own entertainment" if possible, that's what I do when I feel at all out of place at some social event or other. You can always lie back in the grass and think of when you and your SO will be together again, doing all the things you want to do right now, and more

[Hollandia]

Do you have a smartphone? Can you instant message with him while you are out with them a bit? Or even a call? A few " I love you baby" and " I miss you honey" might make it feel much less like just missing him and watching them but instead it would be more of the four of you hanging out only one of you is virtual for the time being.

[Bluejay Belle]

I agree with both of the above. Whenever I'm out with a couple or a group of couples even, I don't think of it as a "date." I wouldn't be odd-wheeling if it were a date (and my SO was LD of course). It's just a social outing, and if they approach it that way, you can all have fun.

ALSO, go into it thinking it will be enjoyable and you won't create a self-fulfilling prophecy of being bored and upset.

[oxytocinbite]

I don't actually have any friends in person but I actually had fun, I jumped off this cliff that I never usually would because its high and scary but I did it! It made me feel awesome. I totally schooled this teen guy that was to scared to jump off and they all were so surprised when I did. x) I just left them alone to do there thing, they actually left me so I had to walk home lol.

[ams.201220]

I'm in a sorority and we always have date fuctions, mixers, parties, etc...and normally I go by myself to them. One big one was last fall when we had our annual "Date Party" and he couldn't come. I picked out an outfit I really wanted him to see me in, bought condoms, and bought massage oil. But he ended up having to stay behind and it really sucked. So I wore a different dress and I'm really hoping that he'll be able to go this year! But if not, I just have to do my best. I normally bring a good girl friend and we dance really crazy and tease all the other couples there!

[Jazi]

I know how you feel, except I feel like I become lumped in as a 'kid' again in my situation - All of the adults who regularly attend our extended family gatherings are in couples and I'm usually the only "single" one there (sometimes my uncle comes, who is single) and then there are the kids of the family. I feel quite left out or lumped together with the kids sometimes when all the adults are being coupley, like wanting to sit with each other at the table... or the fact that double beds/private rooms get dibs out to couples and then I end up sleeping on the couch with the kids around me on mattresses on the floor, sometimes I'm on the floor on a mattress too. And I just KNOW that if my SO could come with us to the gathering that we would get a double bed and could join in being coupley..

I try not to dwell on it though because I really enjoy the family gatherings. I always msg my SO when I can when I'm with my family and they all ask about him/notice his absence too.. I just try to look ahead to all the awesome family gatherings that he will be at and it helps a little

[chizatlauren]

Smartphones are the best helpers in these situations! I am always a chaperone to my 16-year old sister and her suitors when they go out on a date. I tag along and just play Candy Crush or any other game on my Android phone to forget about their existence. Meh. Sometimes when my SO is awake I just text him on Viber or Pinger while I'm out with my sister. I don't look at them when they flirt or they're being sweet because I'll just miss my SO more.

[Mims27]

I totally get what you mean. I feel that way sometimes too. Especially when I spend time with family at the cottage and everyone is with their partners and I can't be with mine. My smartphone does help a lot in those moments.

[Heavenly_Love12]

I can relate to how you feel! I'll sometimes get down at work because all my coworkers (minus 4) are married and even at random places like the grocery store when I'm missing my SO. My phone helps a lot in situations outside of work (I can't have my phone at work) and I just try to tune out when people begin going on and on about their husband or wife. Having a distraction is great! School work, a book, the internet, anything just try to keep a positive outloook and remember that when you get to spend time with your SO in person, you'll cherish every second!

[kittyo9]

Oh my god, I hate being the third wheel. It has happened several times while I'm LD and I just cannot do it any more. I avoid those situations like the plague. The only way I will go with a couple is if someone else-- hopefully a good friend-- is going with me... otherwise I just decline the invitation, unless it is a couple that I -know- will be respectful towards my feelings as well.

[dukes2011]

I definitely know what you mean. Usually I text my SO if I'm feeling lonely since that happens a lot at family functions or if I'm hanging out with couples. I don't feel awkward or uncomfortable with another couple unless they are the "all over each other" type.