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Need Advice On Family In The Picture

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    Need Advice On Family In The Picture

    So I'm still learning things as I go and all with this LDR so my question is to ya'll the simple thing well maybe not so simple. Anyways when does the family need to come in the picture? I mean like my family has known about my baby from day one as well as my friends. I know it took him longer cause he introduced me to his best friend and told the guy that day with me there on skype after we had been together like 6 months. His other friends know about me but truthfully I don't know if his sister knows about me at all. His mom is dead so shes the main family he has left and she lives a state away from him right now. He talks to her from time to time and all. I don't know how to ask him if she knows about me or if its right too. I mean I was thinkin bout it cause I'd like to buy his sister somethin for christmas as well as her family since it will be almost 2 years by then that we will have been together.

    I was brought up with good manners and like I'm afraid if she does know about me if she thinks I'm rude since I have never sent even one card or present as well as told him to tell her i said hi.

    Yet then if he says no he hasn't told his family about me do i have the right to get mad or hurt? Any advice please would be great.

    #2
    I think a lot comes into play with these sort of situation and it's not exactly cut and dry. This has caused very big problems between my SO and I in the past. Everyone on my end know about him but he's much more reserved. In our case his culture has a lot to do with it.. but it could also depend on family dynamics, etc. I think talking about it with him is fine but whether you should be mad or hurt would depend on his reasons and how important it is to you...
    First met online: June, 2010
    First met in person: August, 2011 (See the story of our first visit)
    Second visit: December, 2011 (Christmas and New Years together!)
    Third visit together: August, 2012
    Fourth visit: December 2012 (Christmas and New Years together!)
    Fifth visit: July 2013 (2 weeks here in Canada)
    Sixth visit: December 2013 (Christmas and New Years together again and I finally met his mother!)
    Next visit: Unknown... for now but coming up ASAP

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      #3
      while I agree with Vero about it being cut and dry.. I'd say for a different reason though - How serious are the two of you in your relationship? Have you met in person? Are you considering a possibility for closing the distance?

      I think it's a lot different if you've been together for 2 years and had met in person and had some kind of ideas of closing the distance VS together for 2 years coasting along happily in an LDR without meeting. So I guess I'd need to know more about your situation to form a proper opinion on it.

      Regardless, 2 years is a long time. If it is something you wish to know/be out in the open about then I would discuss it with your SO, theres no harm in a conversation and finding out where he stands
      Met Online: February 2009
      Feelings grew: January 2011
      First met in person: 4 April - 16 April 2011
      Officially together since: 4th of April 2011
      Second visit: 29 June - 1 August 2011
      Third visit: 28 September - 15 October 2011
      Fourth visit: 19 January - 25 February 2012
      Fifth visit: 24 March - 12 April 2012
      Sixth visit: 2 June - 7 July 2012
      Engaged: 1st of July 2012
      Seventh visit: 27 August - 23 September
      Visa lodged: 5th of November 2012
      Eighth visit: 8 December 2012 - 12 January 2013
      Visa granted: 8th of May 2013
      Hawaii: 19 May - 2 June 2013
      Closed the distance: 16th of July 2013

      Married my Englishman on the 4th of October 2013

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        #4
        I don't plan on introducing my SO to my family until we're engaged. Why? I just don't want to deal with the critics and their opinion of my relationship and inclusion in it means nothing.

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          #5
          well to answer the question we have met and we wanted to close the distance this year but financial part we werent able to so now it looks more hopefully next year by the end of it at least it all depends when we can afford it but we both want to end the distance. So I would say we are pretty serious as well as he has talked to me about wanting to spend his life with me and i guess family is a big thing to me as well as the fact i got out of a bad marriage that i had inlaws that hated me from the start i really dont want to go that path again.

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