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**snow_girl** · June 3, 2013, 10:55 PM

Maybe he just isn't comfortable saying he is in a long distance relationship. If you two are exclusive and love each other what's the problem?

**Black_Halloween** · June 3, 2013, 11:10 PM

This is why labels are important...they let you know what the hell is up and the lack of only leaves you confused. I don't understand why they're bad in the first place? This new generation shit is confusing :P Has he said that we won't date other women? If not, my guess would be that he's playing you. Many guys will throw out the L word without meaning it. If he can't make a full commitment then don't waste your time with him.

**Hollandia** · June 3, 2013, 11:47 PM

Originally posted by Black_Halloween View Post

This is why labels are important...they let you know what the hell is up and the lack of only leaves you confused. I don't understand why they're bad in the first place? This new generation shit is confusing :P Has he said that we won't date other women? If not, my guess would be that he's playing you. Many guys will throw out the L word without meaning it. If he can't make a full commitment then don't waste your time with him.

I agree with this. If you are in a committed relationship that is monogamous you need to know it. If he won't stop dating others then make sure he knows you don't plan on it either. Don't stop dating other guys either, if he misses out on his chance because you meet someone else that is willing to commit to you, than it is his fault for not being willing to stop dating other women.

If he says, he is not planning on dating others but just wants the freedom to do it, then run fast. That is a players line.

**ThePiedPiper** · June 4, 2013, 12:00 AM

Originally posted by McQuaky View Post

So I met this guy on a dating site and since we have net we FaceTime almost every night. He is in atlanta I am in pittsburgh. He came here to visit me last month and we had the greatest time, and I am going next weekend to stay with him . We get along so well. He has already said he loved me and I do have strong feelings for him. However when I asked if he was my boyfriend he said he doesn't want to label us and it would be different if we were together... I am just confused. I understand his point but how can he love me if he doesn't the "label" ... So I asked if we are to keep dating and he said of course he doesn't want me to date other men. I am a very commited person but I don't want to waste my time if it isn't what I'm expecting this to be..

I would ask him if he plans to date other women. If he doesn't, and he wants to be exclusive with you but isn't ready to go public with it right yet, there's your answer. I did it with my ex for 4 months before he was ready to make it "official." I think so long as you remain on the same page, it can work without labels. Where the lack of labels stops working is when two people stop communicating. So talk to him. Ask him directly if you're an exclusive couple, even without the label.

**Dezface** · June 4, 2013, 12:18 AM

I don't understand the "no labels" thing. It always just sounds like a line people use to keep someone on a leash while they look for something better. I would understand if you hadn't met in person yet, but you have so I see it as fishy.

**digitalfever** · June 4, 2013, 01:40 AM

I'd just wait till you guys have met. It's not a big deal. Take this as an opportunity to assess the situation without rose tinted glasses and approach this guy as if you werent' committed to him but dating.

**Hollandia** · June 4, 2013, 02:12 PM

I think she said she did meet him.

**ams.201220** · June 4, 2013, 02:31 PM

Just tell him that if he's serious about you and if he wants to be with you, then you'd feel more comfortable with a label on your relationship. If he doesn't want you to see other guys, you're obviously exclusive so I'm pretty sure your relationship has a label.

**Tooshie** · June 4, 2013, 03:03 PM

Tbh, I do not agree with some of you about the labeling. I'm very much in love with my SO. I know him since august last year, we met last April, and he is comming here in 24 days to stay for 2 months.

BUT.... I'm afraid to label as well. He called me his gf. I'm not ready to do this. It has nothing to do with my feelings for him! It has to do with my fear of making things go bad if I do label it. Because all my other relationships ended. And I was in some relationships just for being in a relationship. I felt awefull about that. And it still haunts me. It will fade enventually and I talk about him about it. But on my terms. Because I am the person to run away from my feelings. And I refuse to do that with this guy because he make me feel special, beautifull, and everything a women should feel like.

Because I know this makes him more insecure I do tell him that we are exclusive, and how I feel (see above). I show him how much I care and miss him.

My point: Him not labeling might have nothing to do with him not being serious. And don't take the risk of scaring him away with a label! Labels don't proof somebody is honest to you, or isn't dating others, or isn't cheating!
But I do suggest you tell him it makes you feel a bit confused. Let him know that you want to know if you are exclusive, and if he has the same goal, working towards a long time relationship (and label in the future), and eventually when things go great etc. closing the distance whatever way. Even without having a "label" already.

**LadyDaemon** · June 4, 2013, 04:12 PM

Originally posted by Tooshie View Post

Tbh, I do not agree with some of you about the labeling. I'm very much in love with my SO. I know him since august last year, we met last April, and he is comming here in 24 days to stay for 2 months.

Nobody is saying there HAS to be a label. They're saying that if it really makes her uncomfortable not knowing what they are to each other and that's something that she needs to know before she invests in the relationship,then she should talk to him and ask him about it. Which I completely agree with. If I was going to invest my time and effort as well as stop dating other men for this person then I personally would want to know what our relationship is,even if we don't always use that label with each other or anyone else for that matter for the time being.

**redapple** · June 4, 2013, 04:14 PM

Maybe rather than going for the boyfriend girlfriend label you need to ask whether you have the exclusive label. I think that will calm your worries.

**McQuaky** · June 4, 2013, 09:24 PM

Hey all you are awesome! Thank you for all the good advice! Put me at ease

and I will talk to him about the exclusiveness

thanks again!

**digitalfever** · June 5, 2013, 05:22 AM

Originally posted by Hollandia View Post

I think she said she did meet him.

Whoosp!

Well...If you are a very committed person and he doesn�t feel the need to commit to the relationship...leave. There is nothing holding you here (you don�t have a relationship,) and you save yourself the time and financial investment of maintaining a long distance relationship. If you want something out of a relationship such as a label which offers stability and commitment for you THEN you need to look for someone that will offer that.

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