New to the site. In need of support!

[oocreamsicle]

Hi all!!

So I'm really not one for seeking out support forums, but in this case I felt like it was time.

My significant other currently lives on the other side of the country due to his job. We were high school sweethearts who dated for 4 years. We broke up for about 3 years during college. (Mostly on my end. I felt like I needed to "see what else was out there.." and I did. I realized there was nothing even close to what I had.

During this time, we both got our degrees and did our own thing. As fate would have it, we were brought back together about a year ago. We have been inseperable since, on the phone & via skype, that is. He comes home about once every season and it has been beyond amazing. We are both completely into making this relationship work.. There are no doubts about that. We trust eachother completely. It's a perfectly beautiful relationship.

Sounds great so far, right!? lol.. Well it is, besides the fact that this whole LD thing is really beginning to get to me. As great as our emotional connection is right now, it's very difficult to not have him physcially here with me. I miss holding him, kissing him, hell I even miss something as simple as laying and watching a movie with him.

Anyways, this is why I found this forum. I hope others can help me with this issue and I also hope to be of help to others. I know how difficult a long distance relationship can be and it's nice to know there are people out there who can relate.

Thanks in advance everyone, I just really wanted to introduce myself!

[LadyMarchHare]

Welcome to the forum!

Being in a relationship that started online I don't personally know the difficulty of knowing what you're missing. I imagine it's harder to go into a long distance relationship when before you were close distance because you have the memories of simple things like holding hands, hearing their heartbeat, etc. I know a bunch of people who go visit their SOs come back saying the online stuff isn't ever enough anymore to slake their affection thirst. Again, I wouldn't know I've yet to meet mine.

Depending on your distance and money/work issues I might suggest trying to plan more visits. It would give you both something to look forward to and you would get the satisfaction of these comforts for however long you stay and though it'd be painful leaving, you come away knowing you'd have that luxury again soon.

[giraffessssssss]

Welcome.

Well, I totally understand what you're going through. My boyfriend and I were together for almost two years before I had to go to college. We both felt very strongly that we would make it work no matter what. But, to have a successful LDR, you have to be able to work for it and fight for it. I miss being able to hold his hand or just hang out and watch tv or whatever. There are times when I ask myself why I torture myself this way, but then I remember that he is not only my boyfriend but also my best friend and there is no way that I'm going to lose that. And, I know, that in a few years we'll be physically together again. So, just keep going, unless you are absolutely unhappy with the relationship.

[oocreamsicle]

Thank you for being so welcoming! (LadyMarchHare) What's your real name? If you're willing to share?!

Yes I can imagine it is different with an online relationship. You haven't met your S.O face to face yet? How long have you two been talking? I can only imagine how difficult that must be!

And yes, it's HORRIBLE on my end! When he was home we would see eachother at least 3 times a week.

Don't get me wrong, skyping, texting and talking on the phone is great. Infact, in the beginning I thought it was a blessing because we were able to reconnect in a purely emotional, raw way. Then the second he came home, everything changed. I missed being together.

He won't be back until November and this REALLY sucks.. (for lack of a better word.) I wish we could plan more visits, but with our jobs we aren't really able to get much time off.. His job especially... We will have to settle for about every 3-4 months, for 2 more years, minimum.

Now I'm sad again, lol.. I'm glad I found this site!

[oocreamsicle]

Giraffessss (lol I'm not going to try to get all of the ssss's right!)

haha I think we can REALLY relate.. I believe we're about the same age too. I know exactly what you're going through. As tough as it is, I always focus on the fact that he is my best friend and the greatest guy I have ever known/will know. I also remind myself that after all of this time apart, we have a better relationship than most couples who see eachother every day! I'd be silly to give it up just because of the distance.

It's just really nice to talk to other people who are going through the same thing I am. Thank you!

[paulawriteslove]

Welcome to the forum!!!!
I know how hard it is to miss your SO. I miss my boyfriend all the time! I can't wait to finish college because that's when we get to start our life together. I only get to see my boyfriend every 3-4 months. But I'm okay with that because I know he's amazing, our love is worth the distance

[oocreamsicle]

Awe Paula, thank you! Honestly, I'm so glad I decided to register for this site. It seems like exactly what I need right now.

How long have you all been on here?!

[paulawriteslove]

I just joined a few weeks ago It really is a great site because there are people who can relate to you.

[amari77]

I'm new to the site as well...and also new to a LDR. So hello everyone! I need some moral support from people who know what it's like...none of my friends do. I met my fella 11 years ago in college but we never dated or anything. He liked me back then...a lot. I didn't reciprocate because I'd just gotten out of a relationship and was *a bit* upset. Had no idea this wonderful person who liked me was so wonderful. Anyway, we kept in touch. He invited me to his sister's wedding this past month and now all of a sudden I'm in this relationship....with a sailor. Who's in Indonesia right now. He's not always going to be in Indonesia, but it wasn't the best way to start things off. I have days where I'm okay, and days where I'm not. I guess today is one of the days where I'm not. We're going to see each other again in early september. He's not in the Navy, by the way. Anyway, is it normal to have second thoughts? Like, "what the hell did I get myself into?" I'm not saying this is all the time, but when I let myself think about it, it's tough. It felt right when we were together, you know? The kind of rightness that you can see lasting a long time. The right kind of rightness. And actually no one has ever made me feel like that. I think it's worth it to stick it out. I know he does too. But tonight...I don't know. Maybe I'm being irrational. We were on IM and I was talking about us traveling together, and he said, "If I'm not out to sea..." I got mad. I didn't say anything, but yeah....I know. How could I not know? Just tell me we're going to travel together, you know? He doesn't need to make that point...am I being irrational? It just doesn't make it any easier to hear that stuff when you're already in a bad mood. He calls me every day. He's great. I wouldn't let him go. I want to be able to do this. Sorry for the rant. Thanks for reading.

[paulawriteslove]

I'm new to the site as well...and also new to a LDR. So hello everyone! I need some moral support from people who know what it's like...none of my friends do. I met my fella 11 years ago in college but we never dated or anything. He liked me back then...a lot. I didn't reciprocate because I'd just gotten out of a relationship and was *a bit* upset. Had no idea this wonderful person who liked me was so wonderful. Anyway, we kept in touch. He invited me to his sister's wedding this past month and now all of a sudden I'm in this relationship....with a sailor. Who's in Indonesia right now. He's not always going to be in Indonesia, but it wasn't the best way to start things off. I have days where I'm okay, and days where I'm not. I guess today is one of the days where I'm not. We're going to see each other again in early september. He's not in the Navy, by the way. Anyway, is it normal to have second thoughts? Like, "what the hell did I get myself into?" I'm not saying this is all the time, but when I let myself think about it, it's tough. It felt right when we were together, you know? The kind of rightness that you can see lasting a long time. The right kind of rightness. And actually no one has ever made me feel like that. I think it's worth it to stick it out. I know he does too. But tonight...I don't know. Maybe I'm being irrational. We were on IM and I was talking about us traveling together, and he said, "If I'm not out to sea..." I got mad. I didn't say anything, but yeah....I know. How could I not know? Just tell me we're going to travel together, you know? He doesn't need to make that point...am I being irrational? It just doesn't make it any easier to hear that stuff when you're already in a bad mood. He calls me every day. He's great. I wouldn't let him go. I want to be able to do this. Sorry for the rant. Thanks for reading.

Well first and foremost, welcome to this site In the beginning of my LDR I had some second thoughts of it, but I've came to the conclusion that our love will overcome the distance

[Čternity]

Welcome to the site. It's great he phones every day. IM is a minefield of misunderstandings. I try to always skype or cam as much as I can to avoid issues like that. It's not always possible though. If it is still burning you in a few days bring it up with him. Communication is so key to making this work.

[LadyMarchHare]

Thank you for being so welcoming! (LadyMarchHare) What's your real name? If you're willing to share?!

Yes I can imagine it is different with an online relationship. You haven't met your S.O face to face yet? How long have you two been talking? I can only imagine how difficult that must be!

And yes, it's HORRIBLE on my end! When he was home we would see eachother at least 3 times a week.

Don't get me wrong, skyping, texting and talking on the phone is great. Infact, in the beginning I thought it was a blessing because we were able to reconnect in a purely emotional, raw way. Then the second he came home, everything changed. I missed being together.

He won't be back until November and this REALLY sucks.. (for lack of a better word.) I wish we could plan more visits, but with our jobs we aren't really able to get much time off.. His job especially... We will have to settle for about every 3-4 months, for 2 more years, minimum.

Now I'm sad again, lol.. I'm glad I found this site!

My real name's Sara. My boyfriend gave me this nickname and you can guess what his is, haha.

And no, we haven't met yet. We plan to definitely in January but we want to try something sooner as well. I've known him since I was 14 but we've only begun dating since late February so it's still a fairly 'new' relationship.

3-4 months isn't too bad, though I know every day feels like a million hours when they're not there, but it definitely could be much worse with worse circumstances so that's something to be thankful for. Do you guys text/IM/skype every day? I know it's not the physical needs being met but it's still communication and believe me without even that it gets worse. My guy's job made it so since May he's been able to IM me maybe a handful of times and call me on the phone twice for about 5 minutes each. The whole "Don't know what you got until it's gone" thing I guess, but my point is even though it's the least and most you guys have, it's certainly better than not being able to keep in touch on a regular basis until you guys see each other or can permanently end the distance. Every little bit helps.

[TristenLove]

Well it is, besides the fact that this whole LD thing is really beginning to get to me. As great as our emotional connection is right now, it's very difficult to not have him physcially here with me. I miss holding him, kissing him, hell I even miss something as simple as laying and watching a movie with him.

OMG.... I understand COMPLETELY honey!!!! With Mic being gone, I even miss just sitting in different rooms. I haven't been able to finish a movie by myself. It's tough! To go from living with him, to counting down the next time I get a phone call/skype date. Sleeping's near impossible these days. I've had to start using every trick in the book and even then I could still have a hard time.

[noodle]

Welcome from me as well!
Your story is so sweet! I know its hard not havin him around physically but I personally wouldnt let that get me down. Have you considered moving close to him? Or somethin like that? If you two have already found your way to each other again after so many years Im sure you will find a way to stay together and not let distance ruin it again
Good luck with it!

[oocreamsicle]

Thank you all SO MUCH.

There really are no words to express how happy I am that I decided to join this site. It seems like just what I need.

To answer the question about possibly moving closer together, with our jobs right now it is just completely impossible. The minimum amout of time we will have to be long distance for is 2 years. I try not to think about that, though. :/

Some days are easier than others. Most of the time I'm ok with everything. We do talk almost every day on the phone and text thru the day as well. Some days are just really hard though. But I'm sure you all know that!

Thanks again!!