No talking day...

[SongwriterInAnLDR]

Today, I've decided to be a no talking day with my SO. It's a test to see if he misses me. I read it some where when I was researching LDR that's it a good idea to have a free day, a day with no talking to your SO. I admit it will be hard, because yesterday was suppose to be the free day, but I ended up talking to him. What are your thoughts on a 'free day' ?

[temporaryuser]

A free day is fine, but not "as a test to see if he misses me"! if that is your resaoning, you are doing it for the wrong reson. In any relationship you should be able to have time to your self. LDR is no exception.You need to not rely on the other person and be able to do your own thing.

[Louise_B]

a 'Free day' can come round and bite you back in the butt. i think its a dumb idea personally!

personally i wouldnt tamper with ignoring your SO for the day. He may become pissed about it or start getting things in his head that you must be TOO 'busy' to be replying to him. and he'll just do it to you the next day.

I dont think its fair to be playing games when there is distance between you both! Dont get me wrong my SO will text me and il give it a few hours before i text back but he knows if i dont text im busy with work. I guess its up to you what you want to do.

[80anthea]

Personally I wouldn't for two reasons. 1. I don't like the idea of playing games it strikes me as immature and I don't think it's healthy and secondly I love talking to my SO that I would miss him, we miss out on so much being so far apart that I wouldn't want to miss talking to him too.

[Louise_B]

Personally I wouldn't for two reasons. 1. I don't like the idea of playing games it strikes me as immature and I don't think it's healthy and secondly I love talking to my SO that I would miss him, we miss out on so much being so far apart that I wouldn't want to miss talking to him too.

AGREED!

[SongwriterInAnLDR]

Changed my mind.

Well I guess you can't do everything you read, because the article said to have the free day as kind of a test to see if the person misses you. Oh well, you take the good advice & throw away the bad advice, thanks ladies, & I will not be doing a free day today or any day!

[Tooki]

It reeks of immaturity to me as well. It's perfectly acceptable to be unable to talk for a day or more because you are busy, but using the day as a test is not the right attitude to have in an LDR.

[dglynn77]

So you are going to pull a "No talking day" on him without telling him first?
I'm sorry but I think that is really immature.

IF you feel you need a day to yourself - no talking to your SO - you should talk about it first so he knows. (I personally couldn't have a "No talking day." I ADORE talking to my SO)
Otherwise you are just playing immature games that are not healthy for any relationship.

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

"To see if he misses me" is not a good reason. How will you feel if a day without you doesnt bother him? It'd only upset you and make you question him. Don't play games with him.

I think "free days" are good ideas... But they're best if they happen naturally. I get on with my days, my SO gets on with his days, and we usually talk in the evening (my time) but if one or both of us are busy, it's cool to message and say "hey, I'm busy". It's ok to be doing something else and not talk every day, but planning to not talk just for the sake of not talking seems strange to me. I think if you're not self disciplined enough that talking to your SO prevents you from having reasonably regular days, rather than planning "free days", just plan to do things or start new hobbies or see your friends. It's more about balancing your time so that you have a regular life than particularly choosing not to talk.

[lademoiselle]

Yeah, honestly, never be too quick to follow every piece of "great" advice that's floating around out there. A fair amount of it will end up doing you more harm than good

[kiara_silver]

I agree with the above posters. I had a semi"free" night last night because fb was being weird and our internet connection or something, so he felt I was ignoring him. It's not a nice thing to do. And in a long distance, your going to have busy days and time apart, why add a free day?

[Ejoriah]

Agree with everyone else. A free day that just "happens" because of life is fine and not the end of the world, but a free day to "test" the relationship is very harsh, in my opinion. It's already hard enough to be long distance, why add more distance.

[Moon]

I don't like the name "free day", it sounds kind of like your LDR is imprisoning you in some way It's good and healthy to do your own thing, there is nothing bad (or worth freaking out about!!) if there are days where you don't talk to your SO. It shouldn't be a test though, it's just life.

[Black_Halloween]

Please don't start playing with your SOs emotions. They'll figure it out eventually and hate you for it.

[marentora]

Once I tried this thing in my life, when my boyfriend hurt me and I felt really bad. I decided, that I had to see his feelings and I log out from facebook, skype and I didn't listen music on last.fm. In first day I hadn't gotten any calls, but in second day my boyfriend tried to connect with me 10 times by phone, so I picked up the phone and talked with him. It was really important for me, because he often forget about his phone - I'm calling and he isn't receiving. I'm feeling so awful, so useless... At such moments I think, he forgets about me... He forgets about the fact that I'm worried about him... He says that it is human to forget your phone, but I told him, that I need it to have contact with him. However, he still often forgets about his phone... I hate it, but I don't know what should I do to change his mind.