Hey there. I have a few questions about LDR's and communication, and this seemed like an appropriate forum to post on. If this thread belongs somewhere else, please let me know and I'll see about requesting a move!
A while back, I met a girl through online dating. We had an instant connection. The next few weeks were honestly some of the best in my life. I had finally found a girl who I was genuinely happy to be with. Our relationship seemed absolutely perfect. We knew that we would run into issues eventually, but neither one of us wanted to think about that.
Unfortunately, the military moved me across the country. Our goodbye was one of the hardest things I've ever done. We both agreed that we had found something special in each other, so we agree to continue the relationship long-distance, even though neither of us has ever had a successful LDR.
Sure enough, the troubles came. We had 3 fights in a week. We both learned some new things about each other's social habits that we didn't like. We brushed those aside and reached compromises, and always made sure that we made up the same day. At the end of the day, we both still love each other, and none of the issues were deal breakers, so we continued texting, skyping, calling, etc. However, this week has been very different. I started working longer hours, and my shift moved so I am working afternoons and nights. We swapped schedules, and decided to talk when we could, even though it would be inconvenient some times.
First, she stopped texting me during the day. She used to text me every day, and it really is a huge morale boost to get back home and know that there is a text waiting for me. I told her that I missed them (twice!), but I still haven't received one on almost a week.
Second, she quit skyping me. Initially, we agreed that we would try to skype every other or every third day. I don't know about other LDR couples, but out skype conversations are usually 2-3+ hours long. This week, she has made excuses about not being able to skype. I understand that things come up, but when 4 dates fall through in a row, I start to wonder. To make it worse, she didn't even cancel on me for the last 2. I sat on the computer waiting for almost an hour before she texted me saying that she had to go to work. I reminded her about our date, and she just said we would talk later (when we're both at work?)
Lastly, we both get very jealous at times. We've been working on those, and it's gotten much better. We had a list of rules that we agreed on before I moved about what we were comfortable with the other doing. I already wasn't too excited about this, because I compromised a LOT more than she did when we were discussing it. This week alone, she openly admitted to crossing the lines 3 times. I trust this girl, but she is giving me every reason not to trust her anymore.
So I suppose I'm asking for advice. Are these problems that we can work through? If so, what can you suggest? Do we need to back off, maybe even take a break? Do I need to end the relationship? I love this girl deeply, but I don't want to be led on a wild goose chase if this relationship isn't going anywhere. Thanks in advance for your thoughts!
A while back, I met a girl through online dating. We had an instant connection. The next few weeks were honestly some of the best in my life. I had finally found a girl who I was genuinely happy to be with. Our relationship seemed absolutely perfect. We knew that we would run into issues eventually, but neither one of us wanted to think about that.
Unfortunately, the military moved me across the country. Our goodbye was one of the hardest things I've ever done. We both agreed that we had found something special in each other, so we agree to continue the relationship long-distance, even though neither of us has ever had a successful LDR.
Sure enough, the troubles came. We had 3 fights in a week. We both learned some new things about each other's social habits that we didn't like. We brushed those aside and reached compromises, and always made sure that we made up the same day. At the end of the day, we both still love each other, and none of the issues were deal breakers, so we continued texting, skyping, calling, etc. However, this week has been very different. I started working longer hours, and my shift moved so I am working afternoons and nights. We swapped schedules, and decided to talk when we could, even though it would be inconvenient some times.
First, she stopped texting me during the day. She used to text me every day, and it really is a huge morale boost to get back home and know that there is a text waiting for me. I told her that I missed them (twice!), but I still haven't received one on almost a week.
Second, she quit skyping me. Initially, we agreed that we would try to skype every other or every third day. I don't know about other LDR couples, but out skype conversations are usually 2-3+ hours long. This week, she has made excuses about not being able to skype. I understand that things come up, but when 4 dates fall through in a row, I start to wonder. To make it worse, she didn't even cancel on me for the last 2. I sat on the computer waiting for almost an hour before she texted me saying that she had to go to work. I reminded her about our date, and she just said we would talk later (when we're both at work?)
Lastly, we both get very jealous at times. We've been working on those, and it's gotten much better. We had a list of rules that we agreed on before I moved about what we were comfortable with the other doing. I already wasn't too excited about this, because I compromised a LOT more than she did when we were discussing it. This week alone, she openly admitted to crossing the lines 3 times. I trust this girl, but she is giving me every reason not to trust her anymore.
So I suppose I'm asking for advice. Are these problems that we can work through? If so, what can you suggest? Do we need to back off, maybe even take a break? Do I need to end the relationship? I love this girl deeply, but I don't want to be led on a wild goose chase if this relationship isn't going anywhere. Thanks in advance for your thoughts!
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