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Twin sister dating close distance...upset.

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    #1

    Twin sister dating close distance...upset.

    My sister has recently started dating this guy close distance. I am happy that she is happy and having a good time...hanging out with him and what not. I just cant help at having this feeling deep inside of me that is really sad. I have never dated close distance and this is her first close distance relationship.

    Around July 4th, the town I used to live does this "celebration party" thing that they do every year..I really really want my SO to be able to make it. Although I am not sure he is going to be able to and I will obviously not being angry at him. I am just getting more upset knowing I may be alone while everyone is getting drunk and watching fireworks and she will be with her boyfriend...probably ignoring me most of the night and having fun with him. I sound selfish to be upset that my sister is dating close distance, but I cant help it. All I want in this world is to be with my SO for one night, just to hold him again.

    I guess I am just feeling the need to get this all out of my chest.
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    #2
    I think you need to grow up a bit. I get that LD is hard, but you can't get angry with her that she is dating someone now. She's done nothing wrong. If your SO can't make it to the celebration there will be other opportunities to be with him and experience things with him. Why not ask some friends to go to the fireworks with you? Don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself, get up and do something about it.

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      #3
      I agree with snow when she says you should grab some friends. I hate being LD too, but my friends really help me out of it. When I'm spending time with other people, I don't really have time to miss my SO. My SO missed two really important dances. I went to one with a good girl friend and I skipped the second one. You

      I also know it must suck to watch the people around you have close distance relationships, but the one thing LD's have more is the endurance to last a really long time, even when finally closing the distance. If you love your SO, you should be happy just being with him day by day. And support your sister's relationship, honestly. Because if you don't, that jealousy will come out and it may hurt your relationship with your sister.

      First met: June 2012
      Became Committed: June 04, 2012
      Entered an LDR: July 01, 2012
      Next Visit: October 2013!

      XXX XXX

      Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be.

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        #4
        I understand how awfull you must feel. And sometimes it just feel so completly unfair.


        And if you want advice, Feeling jealous is okay, feeling sad and lonely too, everything you feel is okay as long as it doesn't overshadow your life.

        Let those feeling out and remember you have a really great guy out there.

        Whenever I feel upset and jealous I try to tell myself that the best things in life are those you have to wait for and they are worth every second spent waiting.

        I really wish you strength and positive things happening to you to take your mind off things
        “We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.”
        ― Robert Fulghum, True Love

        Met UK 3.08.2012-5.08.12 ->UK 1.12.12-3.12.12->PL 8.02.13-16.02.13->PL 1.06.13-9.06.13->UK 3.08.13-17.08.13->UK 26.10.2013-02.11.2013->PL 30.11.2013-08.12.2013->PL 22.03.2014-29.03.2014->UK 31.05.2014-07.06.2014->PL 06.09.2014-13.09.13->UK 20.12.2014-03.01.2015
        Closed the distance >21.03.2015
        sigpic

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          #5
          I don't think she's wrong for feeling that way though...It's not that shes's being immature...
          It's just that she genuinely wishes that her SO was close to her. It's just... hasn't everyone felt like that at one point?
          You can say- "Go get friends! Do something about it!," but really you just want to be with the person you love the most... You can't really help missing him or her...
          I'm sorry OP, I really understand how you feel! x-x
          It's depressing to see all these couples around that have the luxury of seeing each other everyday >_<
          But be strong! Don't feel mad or upset, because it will be worth it in the end x)

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by snow_girl View Post
            I think you need to grow up a bit. I get that LD is hard, but you can't get angry with her that she is dating someone now. She's done nothing wrong. If your SO can't make it to the celebration there will be other opportunities to be with him and experience things with him. Why not ask some friends to go to the fireworks with you? Don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself, get up and do something about it.
            I'm not angry at her at all, I'm just jealous. I'm also not sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Your kind of harsh. I don't have any friends. I know there will be other opportunities, I was just hoping.

            Comment

              #7
              Originally posted by oxytocinbite View Post
              I'm not angry at her at all, I'm just jealous. I'm also not sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Your kind of harsh. I don't have any friends. I know there will be other opportunities, I was just hoping.
              Make some friends then.

              We all know how hard a LDR can get when you're feeling low. Going out with friends really helps to distract myself from missing my GF. Or perhaps try and enjoy the event for the event, and not for the couples being together.

              Comment

                #8
                Originally posted by oxytocinbite View Post
                I'm not angry at her at all, I'm just jealous. I'm also not sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Your kind of harsh. I don't have any friends. I know there will be other opportunities, I was just hoping.
                Originally posted by Tooki View Post
                Make some friends then.

                We all know how hard a LDR can get when you're feeling low. Going out with friends really helps to distract myself from missing my GF. Or perhaps try and enjoy the event for the event, and not for the couples being together.
                To go off what Tooki said, make some friends since you claim you don't have any. If you're bad at making friends (like I am) take a class, join a club or a gym... find a way to connect with people that like the same kinds of things that you do. All you really have to do is say "Hello"... that's how anyone meets anyone right? Keep your chin up, you'll get through it


                sigpic

                Comment

                  #9
                  Originally posted by oxytocinbite View Post
                  I'm not angry at her at all, I'm just jealous. I'm also not sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Your kind of harsh. I don't have any friends. I know there will be other opportunities, I was just hoping.
                  Originally posted by Kristin91 View Post
                  To go off what Tooki said, make some friends since you claim you don't have any. If you're bad at making friends (like I am) take a class, join a club or a gym... find a way to connect with people that like the same kinds of things that you do. All you really have to do is say "Hello"... that's how anyone meets anyone right? Keep your chin up, you'll get through it

                  I agree with Kristin. As someone who only started to open enough to make friends in her last quarter (three months) of uni, meeting people can be hard. I found, however, that joining classes not necessarily expanded my social circle, but it provided me with an outlet for social interaction that was much needed. I go with my mother, so that hinders my socializing in that respect, but I often find that I get on well with the teachers and develop strong relationships with them by going to their other classes, doing private lessons for certain things, etc. and that also helps. Volunteering was another big one that helped provide me with some social stuff and for a good cause too. Really it's about getting out and getting involved. You don't necessarily have to start by making friends, but getting out in a social situation doing something you enjoy with other people who enjoy it too is really great, especially when you start feeling down about your LDR.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I understand how you feel, but your poor sister I feel bad for her that you can't be more happy for her, because after all, being LD is a choice we've all made. That choice does involve sacrifice, and sadness and loneliness kinda come with the territory. Try to be happy for her, she could probably use the support.
                    Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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                      #11
                      Making friends is easier said then done, I can't just randomly start classes..I also live further out from everyone else. I can make then when I go to college. Also I am happy for my twin and I support her, I never said I wasn't. I have asked my mother lots of times to take us to social situations to meet people but she says "we don't need friends" I don't have any way to get anywhere and she is my only option. I just want this thread to end please. Thanks everyone.
                      Last edited by oxytocinbite; June 13, 2013, 08:20 PM.

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