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    #1

    It not going to go any further :(

    Well, it's not going to go any further than friends so I don't really know why I'm on the site now. He told me this last night, & I'm just crushed. He just wants to be my friend because he said he's not right for anyone & wants me to find the right guy for me. I don't know what to think for now, I'm heartbroken & I know really know what to do anymore. He's willing to support me as much as he can but is not willing or wanting to date me that is a blow to me, I'm not some toy to be played with, yet that's how he's acting. I deserve better than this,& I'm sorting through my emotions right now...I'm just sick of having heartbreaks.
    Last edited by SongwriterInAnLDR; June 16, 2013, 08:35 AM.
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    #2
    I'm sorry
    Met Online: February 2009
    Feelings grew: January 2011
    First met in person: 4 April - 16 April 2011
    Officially together since: 4th of April 2011
    Second visit: 29 June - 1 August 2011
    Third visit: 28 September - 15 October 2011
    Fourth visit: 19 January - 25 February 2012
    Fifth visit: 24 March - 12 April 2012
    Sixth visit: 2 June - 7 July 2012
    Engaged: 1st of July 2012
    Seventh visit: 27 August - 23 September
    Visa lodged: 5th of November 2012
    Eighth visit: 8 December 2012 - 12 January 2013
    Visa granted: 8th of May 2013
    Hawaii: 19 May - 2 June 2013
    Closed the distance: 16th of July 2013

    Married my Englishman on the 4th of October 2013

    Comment

      #3
      Oh my god...I'm so sorry!

      First met: June 2012
      Became Committed: June 04, 2012
      Entered an LDR: July 01, 2012
      Next Visit: October 2013!

      XXX XXX

      Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be.

      Comment

        #4
        I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe take some space from him and just focus on taking care of yourself. You deserve to be happy!

        Comment

          #5
          Sorry to hear that :/ Hugs!

          Comment

            #6
            I'm so sorry to hear! I've had this happen to me before. I know how that feels!



            Comment

              #7
              Awww, I'm really sorry about that! Maybe this can be the time for you to have some time for yourself. Heartbreak sucks for sure, but they can sometimes open doors to a newer, better person out there for you.

              Comment

                #8
                Thanks guys, I went to church today & cried basically through the whole worship set. All I ever wanted to be is loved by someone, I wasted 3 years with this guy & trying to get back with him backfired so I feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest & to know we wrote those poems together doesn't help much because the are lies to me. I hate the poems we wrote together because they mean nothing. I can't believe I wasted 3 years on him. I hate that he was playing with my emotions all along, you don't do that. I deserve much more than that. It just sucks that all...really sucks....

                Comment

                  #9
                  I'm sorry this has happened, but I think it's unfair and harmful to YOU to be telling yourself "well, it all meant nothing to him all along". Yeah, you may not have gotten what you wanted out of it, but chances are, there WAS something there for him too. Most people don't just hurt other people for kicks. When he wrote poems with you, it probably was real for him too. He's just made a different decision to you.

                  Worst of all, if you tell yourself that it was all meaningless, it's doing a disservice to yourself, because it makes the assumption that you couldn't possibly have made him feel that way when actually you probably did. By saying that to yourself, you devalue yourself as well. Just because it didn't work out this time doesn't mean that it was meaningless. And although three years is a long time to be on the fence, by making it clear cut to you NOW, he's giving you an opportunity to find someone that will want the same thing as you. And if you can make someone feel that way about you, you can make someone else feel that way about you. And that's a little piece of hope that you should hold on to.

                  *hugs* it WILL heal over.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I agree with Biddly. If you think that the relationship was a waste of time, then you would have learned nothing from it.

                    I also don't think that your ex was playing with your emotions. He was honest and upfront with you. Playing with your emotions would involve him lying to you.

                    Things will get better. Good luck.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Originally posted by SongwriterInAnLDR View Post
                      Thanks guys, I went to church today & cried basically through the whole worship set. All I ever wanted to be is loved by someone, I wasted 3 years with this guy & trying to get back with him backfired so I feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest & to know we wrote those poems together doesn't help much because the are lies to me. I hate the poems we wrote together because they mean nothing. I can't believe I wasted 3 years on him. I hate that he was playing with my emotions all along, you don't do that. I deserve much more than that. It just sucks that all...really sucks....
                      I sort of know what you are feeling. I didn't get 'true love from my (ex)wife or (ex)fiance. My SO said that she wasted my life on her. I told her that even though it is an LDR, she has loved me far more than my (ex)wife or (ex)fiance ever did. My SO seems to have calmed down, I wish your SO could have done the same.

                      First Visit: September 2016
                      Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
                      Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

                      John 3:16
                      For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
                      John 4:12
                      I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Ohh Im really sorry about that sadly either my words nor everybody words wont help you to get through this... because its something that you have to do on your own. My advice? dont look back! dont regret anything because I bet those 3 years were amazing by his side. When my gf asked me for a break, I was devastated but I was recovering slowly and we are back now... and what did I learn? one of the best lessons in my life... was it your fault? I dont think so, so your conscience is in peace because you did everything you could do to make it work! There is a good quote that helped me alot that time... you both lost alot, but he lost more than you, because you can find someone who can love you as he did or even more (Im 100% sure about this one, because you seem to be a nice girl ) but he cannot find someone that love him the as much as you did! cheers up sweetie! you will find someone who deserves all your love or should I say... someone will find you

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Originally posted by starksito View Post
                          Ohh Im really sorry about that sadly either my words nor everybody words wont help you to get through this... because its something that you have to do on your own. My advice? dont look back! dont regret anything because I bet those 3 years were amazing by his side. When my gf asked me for a break, I was devastated but I was recovering slowly and we are back now... and what did I learn? one of the best lessons in my life... was it your fault? I dont think so, so your conscience is in peace because you did everything you could do to make it work! There is a good quote that helped me alot that time... you both lost alot, but he lost more than you, because you can find someone who can love you as he did or even more (Im 100% sure about this one, because you seem to be a nice girl ) but he cannot find someone that love him the as much as you did! cheers up sweetie! you will find someone who deserves all your love or should I say... someone will find you

                          Thanks! I appreciate your kind words.

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