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    #46
    thank you so much the information. Yes I've got his address. And yes i've been thinking he might has accident but since his phone is back active, I doubt that he has accident.

    And I just want to clarify things between me and him. Plus as you mentioned, maybe this will teach him to not being immature especially when he is old enough.

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      #47
      Well, I think that calling the police is very drastic, and I personally won't do that. But if you are really worried, I would suggest calling his boss or some coworkers as I suggested before, police would be the very last measure. Good luck to you, I hope it won't be so serious.

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        #48
        I think that right now, you need to be planning for the possibility that you will not hear from him again and you will never know why. It's been a week and it seems likely that he has had opportunities to contact you, but he has chosen not to. Decide how long you're willing to wait for him. I think 2-4 weeks may be reasonable, and he's already been missing in action for one week. You might get sick of waiting before your deadline, or you might not. Message him telling him that if you don't hear from him before the date you chose, that you will assume that your relationship is over. If that date comes and you haven't heard from him, send him one final message confirming that your relationship has ended. Then block/delete him from everything you use to contact him and begin moving on.

        It would be rough if you end up not having closure. I was in a very similar situation myself when I was younger and didn't know how relationships were meant to go and it devastated me. It helped me to accept that sometimes, random awful stuff happens and there's not necessarily a reason for it, or the reason could just be irrelevant. All that I needed to do was to move on with my life. You might be more comforted believing that things like this happen for a reason. If I didn't have that terrible experience with my first boyfriend, through a complicated series of events, then I wouldn't have met my current SO. That of course doesn't make what I went through okay, but it has helped me to accept that it happened.

        If you do hear from him again before your deadline, make it explicitly clear that vanishing for weeks at a time with no warning to you and no contact whatsoever is completely unacceptable and a dealbreaker for you. Decide how long is too long to go without contact for no reason, and tell him that if this happens again, you will break up with him. Life is much too short for it to be worthwhile to commit to somebody like this.

        I'm very sorry you're going through this. I understand far too well how you feel. Message me if you'd like to talk privately.


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          #49
          Can I just add that I think calling the American Police would be a really bad idea?

          I'm very sorry for what you are going through, but as it seems he is having contact with the world, and just not with you that it would be a gross misuse of the police.

          *hugs* as you go through this.

          Comment


            #50
            DO NOT call the police! I agree with the others that have said this. You may NEVER know...and you need to prepare yourself for that. I am sorry that anyone has to go through this....but you have been given some good...practical advice...I hope you take it. Take care!
            NY to Texas Married on...August 17th, 2013

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              #51
              hi Everyone.. Thanks for all your support. I was busy at work so I had no time to call police. But last night I saw he was online on Skype. I decided to try call his skype, but no answer. So I leave message.

              I think I should stop trying.
              The good things behind this, my career gets better since he left me. So, I am happy for that

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                #52
                Originally posted by ayarusworld View Post
                hi Everyone.. Thanks for all your support. I was busy at work so I had no time to call police. But last night I saw he was online on Skype. I decided to try call his skype, but no answer. So I leave message.

                I think I should stop trying.
                The good things behind this, my career gets better since he left me. So, I am happy for that
                As people said, calling the police wouldn't be a good idea, so glad to see you haven't done that, he's a complete and utter coward and asshole for how he is being so your waaay better off! I'm sorry it's happened this way, there are plenty of people out there who just don't consider others feelings to make things easier for themselves, I'm sure you'll come across someone who will make you happy. You have plenty of friends here so if you need to talk just message!

                Think now you should just cut him off now, take him away from facebook, delete his number, delete him on skype, just a fresh start, goodbye, probably easier said than done, but you deserve better.

                "Buddha made you for me" - My SO



                1st Met/Visit: Nov 2012 - Thailand
                2nd Visit: May 2013 - Thailand
                3rd Visit: Jun 2013 - Thailand
                4th Visit: Sep 2013 - Thailand
                5th Visit: Sep 2013 - Jan 2014 - UK
                6th Visit: Apr 2014 - Thailand - Marry
                7th Visit: Sept 14th 2014 - Thailand - Wedding Ceremony / Party
                Close the distance - Sept 21st 2014 - UK
                UK Wedding Party: November 8th 2014

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                  #53
                  Have you set him that ultimatum that Shepard-Fowkes was talking about? I think you should give him, say, about two weeks and then do all the deleting (his contact on Skype, on Facebook, everywhere). Like "If I haven't heard from you by July 7, I'll consider the relationship over." This is what I'd do, at least -- you may of course choose to cut him off right away.
                  first met in 2008 -- started talking online again in 2011 -- decided to go on a date in 2012 -- actually started dating on our first visit in August 2013 --
                  second visit in February 2014 -- third visit in June 2014 -- fourth visit in September 2014

                  Comment


                    #54
                    I don't agree, why give him a chance when he is blatantly ignoring her? Fuck him, no-one deserves to be treated that way. He could just think ah ok, I can fuck about and do what I want until the 7th, and then on the 6th message her as if nothing has happened? He doesn't deserve that.

                    "Buddha made you for me" - My SO



                    1st Met/Visit: Nov 2012 - Thailand
                    2nd Visit: May 2013 - Thailand
                    3rd Visit: Jun 2013 - Thailand
                    4th Visit: Sep 2013 - Thailand
                    5th Visit: Sep 2013 - Jan 2014 - UK
                    6th Visit: Apr 2014 - Thailand - Marry
                    7th Visit: Sept 14th 2014 - Thailand - Wedding Ceremony / Party
                    Close the distance - Sept 21st 2014 - UK
                    UK Wedding Party: November 8th 2014

                    Comment


                      #55
                      Give up on him. Cut him off now. He did not even say one word to you.

                      He doesn't even deserve an ultimatum.

                      Comment


                        #56
                        I don't think she should forgive him either ("Oh, you messaged me a day before the deadline, let's be a couple again!" -- no), but I'd want an explanation at least, and she won't get that if she cuts him off now. That way he may at least respond to her messages so she'll be able to find out what the heck is going on; and it's good to have closure. Just my opinion.
                        first met in 2008 -- started talking online again in 2011 -- decided to go on a date in 2012 -- actually started dating on our first visit in August 2013 --
                        second visit in February 2014 -- third visit in June 2014 -- fourth visit in September 2014

                        Comment


                          #57
                          I don't think he deserves an ultimatum at this stage either and an explanation would be useless. What could he have to say in defense after all this time? In my opinion his lack of concern is closure enough. You don't do this to someone you supposedly care about.

                          OP, I'm sorry you've had to deal with this. Moving on without looking back would be the best option. Take a step back from contacting him and gather yourself together. You've got a very strong attitude (: Good luck.
                          “The ties that binds us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance and time and logic; Because some ties are simply… meant to be.” - Grey’s Anatomy


                          >Little Box<



                          Comment


                            #58
                            I'm glad you didn't call the police, either. That would be a horrifically bad idea. But it's cruel what he's doing to you. What a coward and a jerk! You're better off without. It's obvious that he's still active online, so he's physically fine. Best to just move on and free yourself of the stress. There are better guys out there who won't treat you like that. I still think it's incredibly cruel that he made you worry about his welfare. The least he could've done was to actually break up with you so you wouldn't think he was in some sort of danger. Again, you definitely deserve so much better, and being single is better than pining away about some JERK.

                            Comment


                              #59
                              hi Everyone.. Thanks for ur support and sorry for the late respond. I decided not giving ultimatum for him. Last message i gave to him was ''I made a few deals after you left me. Thank you ''
                              That's abt my work because I had such a hard time to make a deal w my clients. He always supported me.

                              Comment


                                #60
                                Forget the loser and move on.
                                Made it official: 12-01-10
                                First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
                                Closed the distance: 07-31-13

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