Dreams shattered.

[Kaisukaru]

If any one of you has read my previous entries you will know that my SO and I have struggled for two years to stay together and to finally meet each other. My parents strongly opposed to the idea of us being together for several reasons until a few months ago - and I definitely don't judge them. Anyway, we were going to have our very first meeting in twenty five days. However, because the protests in Turkey are getting more violent and violent, and the government won't back down he changed his mind. He is not coming anymore because he is afraid and the Estonian officials warn the citizens not to come here. All the things I went through, everything I did to convince my parents to make this meeting happen... My heart aches so much. I don't know what to feel. He is blaming me for being in Turkey and not moving away, refusing to understand the fact that I cannot apply to university elsewhere anymore and I am already going to enroll in one here soon. He doesn't even have a job yet and asks me to leave everything behind... Frankly, I don't know what you want to tell me. I am having the worst week of my life - had the most difficult university entrance exam in twenty years, my grandfather is in debt, and now this...

I am so tired. I just hope that you are happier than I am.

[Black_Halloween]

Wait...so he's blaming you for being born, basically. Getting up and moving to a different country is not as easy as he may think. It sounds like he's not willing to make any effort and its probably time to reevaluate your relationship.

[Ejoriah]

While I can understand that he would fear for his own safety given the things happening in Turkey... it's out of line that he's blaming you for it. Really, he comes across as entitled, asking you to "just" move while he doesn't even have a job. I'm sorry you had to go through all that with your parents for someone who doesn't seem to appreciate what you're doing

[Tooki]

I understand why he would fear for his safety, but he shouldn't blame you for it. I understand why he wants you to move to Europe, but it's not as easy as he may think.

I also understand what the job market is like in Estonia, but there ARE jobs out there.

He needs to be more supportive of you, pure and simple.

[Chris516]

If any one of you has read my previous entries you will know that my SO and I have struggled for two years to stay together and to finally meet each other. My parents strongly opposed to the idea of us being together for several reasons until a few months ago - and I definitely don't judge them. Anyway, we were going to have our very first meeting in twenty five days. However, because the protests in Turkey are getting more violent and violent, and the government won't back down he changed his mind. He is not coming anymore because he is afraid and the Estonian officials warn the citizens not to come here. All the things I went through, everything I did to convince my parents to make this meeting happen... My heart aches so much. I don't know what to feel. He is blaming me for being in Turkey and not moving away, refusing to understand the fact that I cannot apply to university elsewhere anymore and I am already going to enroll in one here soon. He doesn't even have a job yet and asks me to leave everything behind... Frankly, I don't know what you want to tell me. I am having the worst week of my life - had the most difficult university entrance exam in twenty years, my grandfather is in debt, and now this...

I am so tired. I just hope that you are happier than I am.

BOTH, you n' he can be blamed for your respective emotional responses to the respective governments' situation. That translates to, definitely keep in contact. Stay safe, and wait until the civil unrest in your respective countries' has stopped. Then make your trip plans again.

[Tooki]

Also, have you spoken to your BF about the possibility of studying for 1-2 semesters in Estonia via Erasmus in a year or more?

[Dziubka]

There's also EVS - European Voluntary Service and Turkey is part of the program. It allows you to stay in another country for up to a year (accomodation and pocket money paid by EU) and work in a NGO or a similar place.

[Karoshi]

I'm so sorry, it must be very difficult for you... It is understandable that your boyfriend is afraid of his safety, and maybe blaming you is his way to deal with his own disapointment? I don't want to defend him, he definetly should be more supportive. Try to talk to him and explain how bad you feel about it, and you'll see.
Also, I think that the Erasmus and Volunteer Service are amazing ideas! Try to talk about it with your parents and boyfriend. Good luck, and be strong!

[Kaisukaru]

Unfortunately, only one university in Turkey has a "Erasmus partner university" in Estonia, and computer engineering curriculum is apparently not compatible with that in Estonia so exchange is kind of impossible... However, EVS sounds like a great idea - I hadn't heard of that one before. I'll definitely look more into it when I have time. It sounds like we have solved the crisis for now: we have booked another hotel room in a pricey and yet very safe region close to where I live as a B plan, and luckily, the violence seems to be fading from the protests day by day. Of course I wouldn't want him to a country where he might possibly be hurt. I offered to cancel the flight and book a new one from Turkey to Estonia in winter; however, he insists on coming here first and I accepted that knowing he would be safe as long as he doesn't go join the protests. Thank you all for your suggestions.

[Karoshi]

That's great, I'm so happy for you both!

[.:*Shaunna*:.]

As others have said being concerned about his safety is understandable however it is not fair for him to blame it on you. Whatever happens I hope things work out for the best for you