Meeting my boyfriend's father for the first time...

[Karoshi]

Hello everyone! So I am visiting my SO right now and I'm staying with him for two weeks. Today I'm going to meet his father for the very first time (his parents are divorced, so he doesn't live with them). I am so nervous! My boyfriend told me that he didn't like any of his previous girlfriends and that he is very impulsive and he might will say something that will hurt me, but I shouldn't mind. I want my boyfriends parents to like me and accept me as my parents accept him, but what if he won't like me? I'm just 19 and my SO is 30, so he maybe will have problems with that... Oh god I'm just so nervous! Do you have any advices about meeting your SO's family for the first time?

[katiecat08]

I haven't actually met my boyfriends mom in person yet. I've talked to her over Facebook before and I've seen her a bit when my so skyped me. He tells me she loves me but I'm still super nervous cause my trip down there is in two weeks and I'm staying with her while I'm down there. Just be yourself and let him see how sincere you are about the whole relationship. ShOw him you care for his son.

[Ejoriah]

I had similar fears about meeting my boyfriend's parents too! His father likes me well enough but his mother I'm not too sure about - I *think* she does but sometimes she'll tell things to my SO that makes me thing that maybe she doesn't afterall... but my boyfriend has told me that he doesn't care what his family thinks, he's the one that's dating me and not them so what they think is irrelevant. It's nice to know that my boyfriend will stick by my side no matter what. I'm sure yours will too, as he has already described his dad to let you know what to expect and knows his dad's judgment can be a bit 'off'. I agree with the above to just be yourself, and a personal piece of advice that I found the hard way: if you're the kind of person to make jokes/be sarcastic, wait until you know your SO's parents share that sense of humor! (In my case his dad IS just as sarcastic as I am, but his mother isn't, so our first meeting was slightly awkward because I blundered there!)

[snow]

It's the first impressions that count. I am younger than my boyfriend too (8 years) so I can relate to being scare that that could matter, but what I did was just being polite and nice.
Now he even hugs me every time he comes around

[Malaga]

Just try to be as relaxed as possible. If you're trying to be something you're not, people will notice and you won't make such a good impression. Be polite, make small talk but don't try too hard. If you don't know what to say or talk about, just smile. If you feel comfortable enough, you could compliment him on something you notice he takes care of, maybe his house or the car. Just don't overdo it. Your boyfriend will also be there I assume so he should support you.

It's not a job interview and even if you feel like you have to impress him, the reality is you don't. You're not dating him but his son, and you shouldn't have to defend yourself. If he becomes unpleasant and says something hurtful, his son should stand up to him. If he does, that should help fix the situation. If he doesn't, then you have a bigger issue in your relationship than his dad disliking you.

Good luck!

[lucybelle]

Something I always like to say when I go to someone's house for the first time or meet them or whatever, I always say "this is such a nice area!" And that usually lets them go ahead and speak about whatever they want to talk about.

[mllebamako]

Something I always like to say when I go to someone's house for the first time or meet them or whatever, I always say "this is such a nice area!" And that usually lets them go ahead and speak about whatever they want to talk about.

I'd like you to come visit me and say that. *imagining lucybelle looking around at our dirt roads with open sewers and frolicking rats*

Sorry...back on topic! I'll echo everyone else and say, be yourself. You can't force someone to like you and your boyfriend already said that his dad can be tough, so at least you'll know it's his own issue if he doesn't like you! Be polite and conversational and let your boyfriend know how nervous you are so he can be helpful.

I met my SO's parents by myself, when they picked me up at the airport when I was going to visit them for a week (without my SO). I was definitely nervous but it turned out to be a great week and I had a chance to connect with his parents and siblings.

[Filly]

I'll echo every one and say just be yourself and everything will be fine. I met my SO dad unexpectedly and while I was annoyed with SO. he was to pick me up for a funday at his work and he was 3 hrs late, 3 hrs boy was I mad. After he eventually picked me up he told me we were stopping by his dad like 3 minutes before we got there so I had no time to really prepare. So I just went and I was myself and it helped that his dad and his uncle knows a few members of my family and knows they are good people. But my SO always does that he just takes me and introduces me to other people without telling me first. SMH

[lucybelle]

I'd like you to come visit me and say that. *imagining lucybelle looking around at our dirt roads with open sewers and frolicking rats*

I've said it in some pretty shitty places before! People like to hear that you like the area where they live I'd hands down say it in Mali.

[Filly]

I've said it in some pretty shitty places before!

[Chris516]

I have never met my SO's father. I have talked to him a couple times, but I have never physically met him. She has met my mother, but not my father or step-mother.

[Schlafmütze]

I'd like you to come visit me and say that. *imagining lucybelle looking around at our dirt roads with open sewers and frolicking rats*

To OP: By now, meeting your SO's father should be history lol. How did it go?

[Karoshi]

Thank you all for your advices! I did exactly as you said. I told my SO that I am nervous about it and he assured me that even if his dad won't like me, it won't affect how he personally feels about me, so I got little more relaxed. I was just super polite, answered all his questions (he was more curious about my background than his mother!) and smiled all the time And it went much better then expected! At first he was little cold, but polite... Then I noticed he's got Clint Eastwood poster on his wall and I love Clint Eastwood, so we started talking about his movies and suddenly, he became super friendly and even offered me a beer! My boyfriend later told me that he was really confused, because he didn't expect such a good reaction from him