Need some advice

[starksito]

Hi guys, well It has been a while since I dont open a topic, but Im so confused right now... rather that seems to be dissapointed what a I feel :S my SO told me that she doesnt know if we are gonna get through this because its so hard for her, and everything is done in order to close the distance, we only have to wait 5 months to be definitly together (I even have the ticket) and now she tells me those kind of things... of course it hurts and alot! I dont know what to do, I dont wanna put pression on her but if she is not sure about handle this, what should I do? what if tomorrow she says good bye to me :S I have risked everything for her, and of course its hard to me as well but its not fair that after all she says that :S

[Black_Halloween]

She's probably just missing you to be honest. We all have those "I can't do this anymore!" moments but its YOUR job as her SO to be her shoulder to cry on and reassure her that you can make it.

[starksito]

She's probably just missing you to be honest. We all have those "I can't do this anymore!" moments but its YOUR job as her SO to be her shoulder to cry on and reassure her that you can make it.

thanks alot for your advice... honestly some times Im so selfish but when she told me "Im trying" was so hard for me I just hope we can make through this together. Sometimes its hard for me to be her shoulder because she prefers not to say anything and try to do everything by her own she has always been like that and sometimes I feel useless for that reason

[starksito]

I just talked to her on the phone and she was telling me its to much time, and a relationship cannot be handle through the phone or computer... that lately she feels like she cannot deal with the distance anymore and I swear you, its freaking me out :S I have the feeling that she will tell me to stop trying this and I dont know what to do because while we were talking by phone her voice was different, like upset or tired and this is the first time that I feel it... I swear you guys, I dont know what to do to keep my girl :S

[libelle]

Ask her to be honest and tell you, is it the distance that is bothering her or is there another issue? Cause sorry, but to me it sounds like an easy excuse that someone would make in order to not face the real problem. It would be understandable for me to hear those words from the mouth of someone in a relationship where the people won't meet another year or years, or where there are no realistic plans for closing the distance. Not from the mouth of someone who is at the finish line, overcome everything and has to wait as nothing as 5 months to end the torture.
I am just pulling conclusions from what you wrote about her words. Maybe i am wrong, i hope so. Just talk to her again

[starksito]

She once asked me for a break in march for the same reason, and after almost 2 months she decided to come back... I understand that she has always have that problem with the distance because since we met for the first time and I had to leave it was so hard for her... I can also understand that we wont see each other for almost a year (we have 5 months since we saw each other the last time and there are 5 months more) but which I cannot understand is why when we are in the final stage she cannot bear it? I believe her, and she says that there is no somebody else and she still loves me, so I dont see it because if you love someone you are not gonna think in quiting... Our issues became bigger since she joined in college or after my second visit (which was at the same time) and I dont know why I have a feeling about her friends tell her things about our relationship... of course its just a gut feeling, anyway the thing is that I dont know what to think, if there is no somebody else, and she still loves me why would that be?

[Filly]

I really do believe that you need to have a serious talk with her. Something else is going on and you at least deserve the truth of what's happening.

[starksito]

I can be almost sure that the problem is the distance, she is kind of tired of handle this, but I dont what to do to help her because everything I have tried is useless :S I dont wanna let her go but Im starting to think its the only choice :S I understand how difficult it is for her

[Heavenly_Love12]

I think that she could be having those close the distance jitters. There are posts in the closing the distance topic about people who have gone through similar things. We all go through those times when we feel like we can't handle the distance and wish it would end but they shouldn't last as long as the ones she's had. Have a good conversation with her and be sure that she understands how her thoughts are making you feel!

If you're this close to ending the distance, I wouldn't let the relationship go! All relationships go through rough patches and you're obviously dedicated and care about her!

[lovebunnie1212]

ive been there when i feel like it just cant work and i just know it could be easier if he was closer but thankfully i dont say them outloud to him the issues i have she just happened to say it outloud probably if she misses you the distance itself can weigh heavily on someones heart 5 months isnt bad try to bring her to a positive place everyday about how you can't wait to be with her in 5 months and hold her hand forever and so on give her that positive outcome she needs the most right now

[starksito]

Thanks all of you guys! I know that I have to support her and trust me Im trying, I had a good conversation with her last night and I tried to be strong for her, to be her shoulder for the last 5 months... but sometimes I dont know how because she says that its hard having a boyfriend and not having at the same time, I perfectly understand that and by that reason I just want to make her feel confident about us, I asked her to let me help her because she has that feeling for 2 weeks, she still loves me I know that! otherwise she wouldnt text me as soon as she wakes up or things like that, its just she is tired and I have to do whatever is in my reach to help her, girls give me an advice, what would you like to your SO to do for you when you feel like that?