Feeling Independent?

[ams.201220]

Recently I became very involved in my personal life. I have so much I want to get done before the end of summer and there really isn't enough time in a day to get all of it done.

I love Austin, so much, but right now it kinda feels like he's taking a back seat to what I want to do on a daily basis. I have mixed feelings about this. Last year all I did was focus on him and I missed out on a lot involving school, my career, and my family. I really wanted to keep it balanced this year, and I've found that I'm really happy doing my thing.

On the other hand, sometimes I feel as if I'm not as independent and free minded as I should be. Sometimes I rely on him too much, and it slightly irritates me that I do that.

I don't really know why I'm posting, but I think I'm just looking for feedback. Like have you ever felt like this or do you know someone who has, etc...Advice is also readily welcomed! I just figured that if anybody knew what I was feeling it would be you guys!

Thanks so much in advance!

[Tooki]

It's important to have a balance between your relationship and your life. I try to live my life without depending upon my SO. It benefits me a lot by doing so.

[ams.201220]

It's important to have a balance between your relationship and your life. I try to live my life without depending upon my SO. It benefits me a lot by doing so.

I totally agree! I think it's great to have your own separate things that you each like to do. Because when you have time together it's more special and it's not as suffocating. Sometimes I just get conflicted. :P I think it's because I think about things too much. Alas, my poor soul. D:

[Goyangi]

My SO and I just had a conversation where we asked each other this question: "Does your life revolve around me? Should it?" My concern, because he misses me so much and it effects his mood during military school, was the distraction of maintaining a relationship possibly inhibiting his success. But we realized it goes both ways; having that outside support can mean everything in stressful environments.

I do think some days I might get carried away, where my entire mood seems contingent on my SO and when he can talk to me or how he's feeling or what hey says. Other days, I am doing my own thing, and I'm not completely wrapped up in my SO's business. I will say, however, (and maybe because we are in the early stages of our relationship) he rarely leaves my mind. Even if I'm engrossed in an activity, my mind will always wander back to him. He has told me he reciprocates this. Maintaining a healthy life/relationship balance can be difficult, I think, but if neither aspects are suffering then, keep at it. On the days I get carried away, I try to recognize it and adjust.

[ams.201220]

My SO and I just had a conversation where we asked each other this question: "Does your life revolve around me? Should it?" My concern, because he misses me so much and it effects his mood during military school, was the distraction of maintaining a relationship possibly inhibiting his success. But we realized it goes both ways; having that outside support can mean everything in stressful environments.

I do think some days I might get carried away, where my entire mood seems contingent on my SO and when he can talk to me or how he's feeling or what hey says. Other days, I am doing my own thing, and I'm not completely wrapped up in my SO's business. I will say, however, (and maybe because we are in the early stages of our relationship) he rarely leaves my mind. Even if I'm engrossed in an activity, my mind will always wander back to him. He has told me he reciprocates this. Maintaining a healthy life/relationship balance can be difficult, I think, but if neither aspects are suffering then, keep at it. On the days I get carried away, I try to recognize it and adjust.

I always think about Austin! Sometimes I think it's weird, haha. But like you said, he's always on my mind. It doesn't hinder anything, it's more just like a comfort thing. If I find myself getting too attached or waiting for him to wake up before I start my work, I also try and adjust. Sometimes I just don't catch it in time and it takes me hours to realize what I'm doing. And because of that, I get irritated. It's nobody's fault and it's not even a mistake, it's just a habit I need to break out of.

[Black_Halloween]

I think it depends on the level of the relationship also. Though you should never fully rely on anybody's emotions, if you're in a serious relationship they are a huge part of your life and do have a significant influence. Its important to while you want to do things on your own you don't forget about your SO too.

[Heavenly_Love12]

I think it depends on the level of the relationship also. Though you should never fully rely on anybody's emotions, if you're in a serious relationship they are a huge part of your life and do have a significant influence. Its important to while you want to do things on your own you don't forget about your SO too.

I agree with this! It's very important to have your own life, interests, and career; you never know what could happen and you don't want a man to be the center of your world. Being focused on your own things also helps to pass the time and in being productive! Sometimes I feel like ldr's help because you're not literally hanging out with your SO ALL the time (I see it a lot, someone gets an SO and then they're attached at the hip instantly) so you keep the things from before them.

[digitalfever]

I've never wanted the whole "he's my world" type of relationship. He's not my God and he doesn't need a bigger ego with me worshipping him.

I think everyone needs a life that includes their SO but doesn't revolve around them. Inclusive relationships allow for other interests and goals to be cultivated. I just think that focusing on one person is a bit short sighted and a lot of people don't think of that. You need friends, family, a job/career, hobbies to keep you sane and grounded. Your SO cant provide you with every life experience!

[TooFarAway]

O my goodness I have the same problem ;(
For the past year, I revolved my life around my boo x-x...we just couldn't go on without each other. If we went without talking to each other for even a day we'd both be irritated and grumpy. I'll always be thinking of him and make spending time with him my first priority...
And my school grades kind of suffered because of that xD LOL
I'm trying to be independent but he's always in my head D; *sniffle*