Finding it hard when she goes out

[N20]

Hi all,

Love the site and forum.

I am after a little guidance as lately I am finding it hard whenever my girlfriend goes out.
Just to give you a little background I do a full time job and she is currently going to University.

Everything was going smoothly but these last few weeks I am really struggling whenever my girlfriend goes out for drinks or just generally hangs out with her house mates. I find myself consistently feeling sad and down and I cannot take my mind of the fact that she is not here. I have tried to watch films or play games to take my mind off of things but this does not help. It does not help that I am in an empty house.

I have cut back in going out myself as I am trying to save money.
I personnel think the problem is I work all day and come back to an empty house and at times do feel cut off and left alone with my thoughts.
While when she comes home she has a house full of people who she can relax with and take her mind of off the fact that we are apart.
We do speak everyday and she is aware of how I am feeling.

I am fine during the day and most nights it is just every time she goes out I feel myself getting upset and I feel alone.

I want to get a hold of this as I want her to have the university experience and I do not want to control her life.

Any advice anyone has would be gratefully appreciated.

Thanks,
Nick

[Louise_B]

I’m not sure really what advice I can give you that will help you apart from that I don’t think you are the only person who gets like this because I certainly know I do. Although my SO doesn’t go out that much in all fairness, I’m working so much recently I haven’t been able to feel like this But yes when I am off work and his out doing whatever he does with his friends (shooting, quading, having a few beers) I do feel crappy about it.

For instance my SO has been away at leadership school the past 4 weeks and we haven’t been able to face time since I left him a month ago. Then yesterday it was his first day back and I finished work and got home around 12pm so I face timed him and he answered and was like ‘ Babe im off to the range to do some shooting do you mind if we chat tomorrow’ I said of course not. Which I don’t I’m not a girlfriend who gets pissed off with my SO hanging out with his friends, However I was gutted the fact we had spent 4 weeks not being able to have a decent facetime yet he knew when I would be home from work but he was out. So yesterday he again went to go to the gym while was on my way home I just asked him if he could wait a little so we could talk. And he did.

My only advice is to just try and fill the gaps! Your trust he right? If you trust her its just the sense of loneliness. You’ll be fine

[Tooki]

I was in your situaton. The best thing for you to do is to find something to occupy yourself with. I live in a very detached sharehouse so I just find things to do on my own to pass the time.

Good luck.

[N20]

Thank you for your comments.

Yes I do trust her completely it is as you have said I feel lonely.
I am currently looking at things I can do to take my mind of things