So, I went and did everything I said I wasn't going to.

[garnet]

My last post was all about the end of my one year LDR, and the cancellation of our anniversary visit.

About two hours before my plane took off, I got a Skype message, asking me to please come. I was kind of shocked, wasn't expecting that AT ALL. But it hit me deep. I made a call to make sure I could still get a ride to the hour away airport, took the fastest shower possible, threw some things into my bag, and away I went.

I was beside myself saying goodbye to my son, that was just awful. I cried for at least 3 hours.

The flights were disasters, delays, broken parts, bad weather, terrible bumpy rides.

But then I got to Tucson, and there he was.

Honestly, the visit had some unexpected times. Such as his moving to a new apartment happening on my second to last day, instead of being over with by the time I got there as planned. And me having an allergic reaction to a medication I've been on for over a year, and the horrible withdrawals as I weaned off. Without those two factors, I think it would have been a much less rocky trip.

We had some big fights. Probably our biggest. But we also actually talked through them. We had some GREAT times. It was a roller coaster. But we realized we aren't done. Too much love.

I'll write more about the visit laters, and add some pics. I just wanted to share that absolutely everything I said before was totally inaccurate.

I also want to thank everyone in advance for your support. I'm not getting much anywhere else - because we do have ups and downs. Some friends are being quite nasty about it. Meh.

[ams.201220]

I think it's great! It's really hard to move on after finding someone you really love. My SO and I had a similar situation, but I realized that we're a lot stronger now that we know where we are at fault and how we feel without each other.

I'm really glad you were able to move past that Just make sure he and the relationship don't hurt you physically or emotionally. Sometimes these things get really good and break just as fast, but I'm sure you're getting that from a lot of people. :P

I love the photo of you too! Your hair looks really pretty Keep us posted as to the progress! <3

[Louise_B]

Garnet, You do not realise how happy this has made me. I have been wondering about you ever since i saw youre post. I saw you upload a beautiful picture of you and facebook and my heart melted.

I am so so so happy you got on that lane and went! And i think it is totally amazingly romantic and cute that he asked you to come a few hours before hand! You are a VERY strong inspirational woman and you should be proud of youself! Im excited to see the other photos.

[Filly]

I am so happy for you. I was reading your previous post and I can't wait to see the pics and read the others. I must say though that it takes a strong person to admit when they are wrong so cheers. I'm wishing you all the best.

[mllebamako]

I'm glad that you went and had that chance to start working through the problems in person. I definitely know how it is having rocky relationship times and having friends be really unsupportive of that. We are lucky that we have a place like LFAD to support us through the truths in life, not some facebook-friendly version of the truth.

You look radiant and happy and I am so happy for you

[ThePiedPiper]

Given your mention of emotional abuse in your previous post, it's hard for me to know how to respond to this one. As ams said, sometimes these things cycle and I think it's important to remain open to that possibility. I do hope that he is willing to work on the things that need changed for this relationship to be successful, and I'm glad you two were able to talk out the fights that you had. We're always here for you on LFAD.

[garnet]

Thank you guys so much. It means a lot to have somewhere that I CAN come and be supported! <3 You guys are so sweet about our pic too. Thank you. ^_^ (And Louise, a special thank you.)

Given your mention of emotional abuse in your previous post, it's hard for me to know how to respond to this one. As ams said, sometimes these things cycle and I think it's important to remain open to that possibility. I do hope that he is willing to work on the things that need changed for this relationship to be successful, and I'm glad you two were able to talk out the fights that you had. We're always here for you on LFAD.

I understand and thank you for your concern. I've been in physical and emotionally abusive relationships before, so it wouldn't be out of character for me to be in another. Except! My eyes are open wider now. Going to see him actually made me see something I wasn't expecting. I don't want to go into all of his personal details on a public board, so to keep this as brief as possible, he has a lot of health problems. He has also been having some major side effects from his meds, and it turns out they have been the root of a LOT of our problems. I didn't know this until I saw it first hand. And it wasn't just directed at me. So I felt a lot better knowing it wasn't quite what I thought, if that makes sense.

That being said, tons of stuff was discussed, and we are doing better. I have a better idea of where his anger is coming from (which is sometimes me, I am an excellent button pusher). If it turns into being not so much the meds, and not so much me being difficult, then I am going to have no choice to get out, because I'm not willing to be a verbal punching bag again for anyone.

[digitalfever]

That's great! I'm happy for you