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    Hello single life.

    Ye I'm literally crying my eyes out. My boyfriend broke up with me because God told him to. I guess being with me is sinful?....
    I'm hurt and seriously mad at myself. Mad that I revolved my life around this guy. Mad that I fought so hard against my parents for this guy. I was emotionally and physically abused by my mom because of this guy. I chose him over my family. I truly thought he was the one for me. My first and only... Yea he was my first boyfriend...and I naively gave him everything...gave him my all.

    I..don't really think I can get over this...
    But I enjoyed my time here on the forum..
    Goodbye everyone

    #2
    Once I thought I had found, "the one". He was my first boyfriend. And I too, gave him everything. Then he dumped me when he knew it'd hurt the most because he intentionally wanted me to suffer. And I did. Impossible, I had thought. I will never find anyone else like him, I will never be loved by anyone else, I don't think I can ever move on... I didn't know then how self defeating this thinking is. Yet now matter how much I initially resisted, each day passed I grew a little stronger, until finally, one day, I was able to look back and appreciate all my first relationship had to teach me. I guess what I'm trying to say is, everything in your life happens. I won't even say, "for a reason," just that everything happens. Seems obvious enough. You chose what you learn from everything: good or bad. Heartbreak sucks. But when you're ready, embrace the suck, and you will move on. There IS someone out there who is able to be everything you need. Don't waste your time on the people who won't.

    So give yourself a hug. A hug, and a break. Seriously. Some ice cream. Heal. You will. You are stronger than this.

    As for your family issues, I would strongly advise you seek appropriate professional resources. Abuse is never okay.

    Comment


      #3
      Oh hun, I'm sorry that happened to you. Heartbreaks are never easy, especially when it's over something as intangible as "God told him too..." That doesn't really bring any closure.

      But please don't shut yourself off from love just because this one guy didn't want to be with you. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince and I promise that, with time, it won't hurt anymore and you'll even find someone that treats you like you should be treated - and then you'll be glad this happened, in retrospect. You deserve so much better than a guy who will go back and forth on you and uses his religion as an excuse almost (sorry if I offend anyone - but I believe that suddenly withholding all sex and forbidding your partner to even take care of things themselves is abusive.)

      If you can, try to chalk it up as a learning experience. Don't be "mad" at yourself for those things you mentioned, but learn that you probably shouldn't lose your own identity when you date someone. You gave everything and it's unfair that he broke up with you "because God told him to" but you were coming from a good place and he just couldn't appreciate it.
      So, here you are
      too foreign for home
      too foreign for here.
      Never enough for both.

      Ijeoma Umebinyuo, Diaspora Blues

      Comment


        #4
        I'm sorry to hear this and I think you deserve a better reason than "God told me to". Don't feel you have to leave here, hang aroumd if you want support. I know it feels like you won't ever get over this, but every day you'll feel a little better and things will be a little brighter and then you'll meet someone who treats you with respect and with the love you deserve. Take care of yourself.

        Comment


          #5
          I'm sorry to read this, I know its pretty useless to say it but I do know what it feels like, as my first bf did exactly the same, just the reason was 'my mum said so' (and he was a 22yo, not a 14yo).
          I know in this moment the only person that could make you feel better is the one who is making you feel so bad, but please, try to take care of yourself now. Maybe some days away could help, especially if you have some very good friend who could keep your head away.
          When it happened to me, i spent several months wondering what I did wrong, which were MY mistakes and what I could do to get him back, and you know what? Now that i got over it, i realize how sick that relationship was cos of HIS behaviour. I dont mean to say your story is the same obviously, i just suggest you not to blame yourself for this.
          If you need to talk and let things out, feel free to message me take care

          Comment


            #6
            I also was convinced my first (serious) boyfriend was the one. We dated for a year and a half and I did everything for him, with not much in return. But there was a girl at his high school (we went to different high schools) that he became enthralled with, and after a while I realized I deserve a guy who knows exactly what he wants - me. So I dumped him. It was so hard because for so long I thought he was the one, and I almost obsessed myself over him. But after a few days of mourning, I began to actually feel a sense of liberation and enjoyed knowing that one day I would be healed.

            It may not feel like it now, but it could be a blessing in disguise. Now you don't have to fight with your family. You're free to enjoy your life to the fullest, so enjoy single life because it really is a great time of your life.
            sigpic
            Began our story ~ July 1, 2007
            Our first LDR ~ August 2009
            Closed the distance ~ January 2011
            He joined the Air Force ~ January 1, 2013
            Our second LDR ~ January 2, 2013
            He proposed ~ July 4, 2013
            Our wedding day ~ December 30, 2014
            Closing the distance ~ Summer 2015

            Proud of my Airman!!


            Comment


              #7
              So sorry to hear this honey.

              Take all the time for yourself now to heal, and get yourself back on track.

              Comment


                #8
                I'm sorry this is happening. You probably don't want to hear this right now but I'm going to say it and maybe one day you'll look back and nod. You are young and as you get older you are going to invest in relationships and some will work and some won't but you must learn from each and every one of them. The end of this relationship will not be the end of the world, it may feel like it now but it is not. Go and cry, listen to some love songs, hide away, eat ice cream and bitch to your friends. Then when you feel a little stronger and you are ready to start another relationship remember the lesson learnt from this one. Hugs I know this is painful right now.



                Comment


                  #9
                  I'm sorry this happened D: Don't fret though! I thought my first boyfriend was going to be "the one" and he turned out to be a total asshole. Everyone's gone through it at least once in their life. Like everyone is saying, take it as a life lesson. When you get your next boyfriend, you'll know what to be cautious of!

                  Besides, we just became friends!! Let us help you get through this! I've been through break ups with my current SO and they're never fun, trust me. Message me for sure, k??

                  First met: June 2012
                  Became Committed: June 04, 2012
                  Entered an LDR: July 01, 2012
                  Next Visit: October 2013!


                  XXX XXX

                  Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I'm sorry this happened to you hon. You deserve better then that. You deserve a real man who is going to respect you,treat you right, and not use their religion to tie you down. As others said,I think all of us whether it's our first or our 4th have thought in the past when we were dating someone that "hey! I think he's the one!" and then it crashed and burned. I know I did two other times before I met my SO. But believe me hon,this isn't the end and this won't break you I promise. It may seem like it will right now but believe me as you start to heal and the days pass from this you will get stronger and things will get a little brighter,then hopefully when it's all said and done you can look back on this and will have learned something from it because that's all life is,little lessons learned. You will eventually find the person you're meant to be with who loves you unconditionally because I'll be honest,this guys love for you had a lot of conditions from what I could tell from your posts and that's not real love.

                    I also agree with Goyangi,you should seek some professional assistance about the abuse you're going through with your mom,it is in no way right or acceptable for a parent to be that way toward their child.

                    As far as leaving the forum,it would be perfectly ok for you to stick around,there are a lot of members of the forum who have stuck around even though they are no longer in LDRs and besides I think the support you could get from here would be beneficial in helping you get through what you're going through right now. Hopefully you stick around. Good luck with everything.

                    ♥ In 666 Ways I Love You & My Heaven Is Wherever You Are. I'm For You. ♥

                    We Met: June 9,2010
                    Back Together: August 1,2012
                    First Visit: September 21,2012 - September 29,2012
                    Second Visit: January 13,2013 - February 24,2013
                    Engaged: January 17,2013
                    Closed The Distance-MS - AZ: June 15th,2013
                    Moved To FL Together: November 14,2013
                    We Got Married! - July 3,2014
                    SO Graduated College - August 7,2015
                    Moved to Ky - August 10, 2015

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I remember us sending each other PMs just a few days ago. What happened dear? You're the only Filipino (okay, half filipino) i know in this site!

                      Just talk to me if you have anything you want to say okay? I'm always here for you. I know you're sad right now. Sometimes people come and go in our lives just to teach us a lesson.

                      Sending you hugs, my friend.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        That is just the stupidest reason I have ever heard! I'm sorry to hear about this, I hope your ok, but your clearly better off if that's the best he can come up with.

                        "Buddha made you for me" - My SO



                        1st Met/Visit: Nov 2012 - Thailand
                        2nd Visit: May 2013 - Thailand
                        3rd Visit: Jun 2013 - Thailand
                        4th Visit: Sep 2013 - Thailand
                        5th Visit: Sep 2013 - Jan 2014 - UK
                        6th Visit: Apr 2014 - Thailand - Marry
                        7th Visit: Sept 14th 2014 - Thailand - Wedding Ceremony / Party
                        Close the distance - Sept 21st 2014 - UK
                        UK Wedding Party: November 8th 2014

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by TooFarAway View Post
                          Ye I'm literally crying my eyes out. My boyfriend broke up with me because God told him to. I guess being with me is sinful?....
                          Honestly, you dodged a bullet. There is a much better person out there for you and looking back one day, you'll wonder what you ever saw in this guy.
                          I'm really sorry you're hurting. Take each day as it comes, it will get better, you know it will.

                          Good luck xx

                          Like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. - Steve Jobs

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