ldr girlfriend moving in soon? need help (long)

[dragoonknight7]

hello i'm new to the site but i'm in need of help cause this is my first time ever being in a ldr and i'm fully sure this young lady is the one for me. we have a lot in common and her personality is just awesome, she's also very cute and beautiful, she's perfect in my eyes and have never felt this way before with anyone else. that's the thing though i heard a lot is if they seem perfect and too good to be true it normally is..i'll explain in as much detail as i can but first some background.

i'm 20 years old and living with my parents but saving up for my own place and i've met this young lady who's also 20 years old who seems to be in love with me just as much as i am with her. we met each other online back in march and really hit it off..we both feel like we've known each other for a long time. we planned on me coming down and meeting her for a week in june but ended up changing that with her being the one to come to me and willing to move in (i have no issue with it) since her home life is a bit of a mess. anyways just recently this past weekend she's had to move due to some issues (she still lives with her mom and step father) but regarding the moving thing she said she still wants to move here with me in july and would figure out a date soon after she's settled into this new house of hers. right now she's not able to text or skype me till saturday since the area she moved to has terrible signal and internet will be setup saturday. with out trying to drag on with too much detail and just enough i'll skip now to my issue i'm coming to..now i really love her and everything about her, i honestly can't wait to be with her in person finally and she has told me she's excited too..but there's something fishy that i caught over the time i've known her. i'll try to go down a list i made of things that struck me odd over this time..

when i first added her on skype i couldn't help but check her info and notice it said she was 16 and that changed a few days after she added me to show she was 20, she has told me her younger sister shares stuff with her (facebook, skype, ect.) but the thing is she told me her younger sister was 14. now because of other reasons i searched for her email/user name she uses for certain things on google and found a social type website that says her account was made in may 2013 and age is 16, everything for her profile matches up to her normal stuff. next there's pictures, i mean i have a good 12-15 pictures of her all different and a few where i asked her if i could see her in a dress (since she said she rarely wears them) along with a few other pictures i've asked for her to do certain things, ect. (nothing nasty or dirty of course, just things to be sure it's her) now the thing is with pictures when i would ask for a picture she wouldn't send me one till the next day or so and i'd have to remind her. but then again there's been i'd say 2 times where i asked and within mins to under a hour i had a picture..just a bit odd. along with these pictures two of them show her younger sister in it so it confirms she has a younger sister. (i'll get to that)

i also added her on facebook and the thing i've noticed is i can't see her friends, none at all..she has plenty of friends (checking and seeing mutual friends for her) so she's hiding them from me..but i assume that's normal? i also can't see all of her pictures maybe only 20-30 and it says she has a total of 162 so i assume those are also hidden, again..normal? least if she's being protective. also any pictures on facebook aren't any of her that i can see, just random stuff. now as i noted her younger sister uses some of her accounts and stuff..well when i first checked her facebook i noticed looking back at old posts of hers there's one from two years ago that said she was starting middle school..which lead to me asking her about this since i didn't want to get involved with any mess like that. she didn't take it too great when i asked about it and got upset with me..after calming her down i told her i just wasn't sure what was going on, since i didn't want to waste my time and look bad too..not like i could help not knowing. anyways though she told me her younger sister also used her facebook and mostly took it over and that would explain how most her friends i've seen are in middle school or high school.

now here's something that really gets me and still does..i couldn't help but notice this one since my mom wants the best for me but she came to me asking me if the twitter page she found was my ldr girlfriends..i checked it out and the user name matched up and things seemed like how she would be with update posts i saw..the main thing was the picture. it was this black girl (black and white picture) i should note i knew my gf told me she was mixed race but the pictures she's sent show a lighter skinned girl, different girl pretty much..i never told her about this or anything because at the time i didn't know if it was her younger sister. well..soon after my mom checked her profile (by mistake she hit follow her) my gf mentioned it to me and she changed her picture..she has told me now many stories of her living in the uk (since she was born and lived there till she was 16) now..with this she's told me stories a bit here and there also of being in the usa while she was young and stuff that counteracted her uk stories and with her parents getting divorced. she told me her mother had a rental home in the usa which they flew over and would stay there at times and go back to the uk..while her real dad lived in the usa and would also stay with him sometimes too..so a lot of flying around taking place through the years..not sure what to think less she has the money, but i mean..i don't know. (also she does have a British accent)

now here's one of the biggest things i'm going to get hate about..i've known her for 4 months now and not once have i seen her face on webcam/skype. yet i always have my cam on and have told her since she's shy too that i'm just as shy as she is with being on cam talking. i've tryed quite hard to bring it up over the months since i'd like to at least see her once on webcam..there came a point where i came at her about it all trying my best to figure why she won't webcam with me..which got her upset and yet again i calmed her down, figured out from her younger sister that she doesn't even webcam with her own brother and other family (has a few older sisters and brothers) i let it go though..i could honestly understand being shy cause i'm terrible with it..but i've told her i wouldn't even say anything to try and make her blush or chase her off. still..nothing and there is times she shows me around her house and stuff and with this i can't say for sure since it happened too quick. but i guess her phone has two cams and once it was using the front cam so i could see her face for about 2 seconds before she fixed it, it looked like it wasn't her but then again it happened so quick and the picture wasn't fully clear. but then along with this i'll add in theres one night she took a picture of herself for me and sent it before going to sleep..before doing so she was on webcam showing me something and i noticed on the webcam the shirt she was wearing was the same in the picture i got that night..so it's quite a big mess of confusing me going on.

there's her younger sister which i'm not sure if she's fake or real..she's supposedly in 2 pictures i have of my gf, yet when my gf webcams and shows me stuff, sometimes just showing me her room before hand she'll say something like shes talking to someone else and she says her sister is in her room. well i have yet to see her sister on cam either just to sorta know, nor do i hear her and such too. now there was a point where my gf wanted me to chat with her sister (texting) to get to know each other for later when i would go down and meet my gf's parents. when i would text her sister and my gf through the day i noticed they would both check messages around the same time, one would message me then the other did..(showed me when they read my message) it's fishy..

okay..so final note, she has pictures of her she uses for msn, skype, ect. that match up to the pictures she sends me and she says she has her friends she'll talk with at times too..so with those pictures of her shown i would think it'd look really weird to her friends of her using fake pictures or someone elses, ect. but then again i just don't know..it's killing me honestly, i'm ready for her to move in with me and have talked it over and prepared for it with my parents for a while now (till we both get our own place) she says she doesn't have a date set in mind yet to be here but will pick a date soon within days to a week from now. she has told me her college is figured out for the move and she said she'd give me a call the day her flight has landed and she's here..which to me struck me not so good..cause i've told her i need to know a few days before her flight day so i can be ready and know when to pick her up, ect. which i think she's agreed on doing now..but she said she was just going to have a taxi take her from the airport to my house..that alone would cost her a bit since it's an hour drive to the airport from my house..plus why wouldn't she want me to come pick her up?

[dragoonknight7]

sorry for such a long post and i hope it comes together and makes sense or gives a picture of how things are..i just really need some help with this and understanding if things seem too weird to be true or what i should do? i'd really like to try seeing her on webcam before she came but then again i figure if she'd be here soon anyways from what she is telling me..then i'll know if she's who she tells me she is (less she's not who she is and still shows up..which is really weird) i mean i honestly love this lady and want things to work out, i'd even be willing to wait an extra year or more if needed..so long as i knew she was real. even if she wasn't who she told me she was i feel like i'd still be in love with her..but that scares me too cause even if i love her for who she is after figuring out..that's still a huge and very hurtful thing to do to me this whole time, i already have terrible trust issues with people but even with my issues i've done a lot to see past them and open up to really put my trust in her..so if this happened i don't know where to go cause i love her..but i'd need a lot of truth and stuff from her to try and fix the distrust she has caused and even then i wouldn't be sure if it'd be the same..

really need some help with all of this..please i'm looking for good feedback or some how to get her to webcam with me? or should i wait and see if she plans on moving here and when, seeing her in person to confirm, ect. i'm really confused but i love her like no other. thanks for any help

[Dezface]

I really, really, think you need to take a step back. You're having a girl move in with you that you have yet to see on webcam? That's going a bit fast. It is always better to get to know someone before living with them, and honestly form what you've said, you hardly know this girl at all.

She loves you enough to come live with you but you can't see who her friends are. She hides her photos. She tells stories that don't make sense. Her age doesn't match up, neither do her photos. Sorry man, but you're being taken for a ride. I can't say for sure what I think her game is, but it's pretty clear to me, as I think it is to you, that she's lying. And probably about a lot of things.

You think you love her but you don't really know her. For all you know, everything she's told you is a lie. And trust me, if she is 16, you do not want to get caught up in that mess. I suggest you run far, far away.

[Tooki]

I agree with Dez. In my opinion, I wouldn't even think about visiting until you see 'her' on a webcam, or you get her to take a picture with a note (if need be).

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

There are so many red flags here I don't even know where to begin.

Firstly - you've obviously not met her, and the first time you meet her you're planning to move in together. That's really not a good idea. Although often when people first meet, everything goes as planned, there are stories that people have posted here where there's been no romantic chemistry, or one or other partner has not felt the same way... I would never advise someone to take it for granted that everything will work out perfectly. Meet first, get to know each other, actively move in together further down the line. Trust me, moving out of the parental home is no walk in the park, and trying to do that and juggle where this girl fits in your life... You're setting yourself up for a rocky time, and if you really want this relationship to work out, you want to be taking your first steps with it on as stable a foundation as possible.

Secondly, if she's 16, she's not moving in. You think any parent in their right mind will let their 16 year old child move in with a complete stranger far away from home? I don't even think most parents would let their 20 year old do that either.

If she's saying she'll let you know when the flight has landed, that make me really suspicious that actually, she has no intention of coming. On top of that, she just moved somewhere else with her parents. Someone who is moving out soon anyway would probably have done it at the same time as their parents move. Packing up your stuff and moving it all takes a lot of time and coordination and when you're moving further than down the road, money. Be realistic. If she was moving to be with you in a few days, she'd probably be working out how to send her stuff to you, not unpacking in her brand new house and planning to use the Internet on Saturday.

You've never seen her on webcam - and you're planning to move in together? She's too shy to let you see her face, but she's not too shy to move across the country to be with you in a few days time?

Social networking - it's not open to you, you can't see all the photos, you've seen suspicious statuses that she claims are from her sister, who "takes over" her social networking sites, but there's only two photos of her and her sister that you can see? Surely there'd be way more of her sister than that? Are there ANY of her friends that are collage age? If not, why are all the photos of your SO, but all the friends are her sister's? That doesn't make sense to me.

On top of all this, she tells your stories that are inconsistent, has different ages on different sites, but conveniently changed Skype when you guys started talking... She's trying to hide something, but she's not even doing it well.

I don't think this is simply a case of getting her to go on webcam and getting her to tell you when her flight is coming in. I think you need to find a time to have a SERIOUS conversation about what is real and what is not. You need to tell her what you suspect, and where you know it from, and let her know that if she's telling you she's moving to you, you're going to know about it when she doesn't turn up anyway. Dude, there are so many red flags here I don't know how you've managed to convince yourself that all of it is real.

Be kind, because if she is only 16, she probably doesn't know how to tell you that she's been lying to you.

[LadyDaemon]

Ok,I would just like to caution you right now to halt everything you're about do with her. When in doubt you ALWAYS stop,check your facts and make sure everything is on the up and up. I also say this because IF you're in the US there are laws that will get you put away for life is she is not as old as she says she is. I am not trying to scare you,I'm just being honest. You would do well to research your local state laws governing legal age of consent and what can happen if she is only 16,she moves in with you,is not emancipated and her parents have no knowledge.

There are a lot of red flags I've picked up on. I would ask her to take a picture of her ID and send it to you to prove her age,she can cover up her address and everything and just show you year of birth. A large majority of 20 year olds always have some form of ID be it state or license always on them,if she doesn't I would look at this as a red flag. The fact that she won't get on webcam with you to show her face is also something to be weary of,there are a lot of people who are shy,hell even my own fiance is BUT he still got on cam with me on Skype to show me who he was when we were LD. She should too. The fact that you have found other profiles who's information lines up and says she is 16 is also something of concern. I don't buy that her little sister is also on all of her accounts. I think it's honestly an excuse she's handing you so you don't question her. The fact that she gets offended so easily over minor questions screams to me that she has something to hide,usually people who have nothing to hide won't get so easily offended over the questions you've asked of her. These are all things I would think about if I was you. I would,if possible,try to dig up as much information on her as you can and do not let her come see you until you've got proof that she is as old as she says she is and that she is who she says she is.

[dragoonknight7]

i'd just like to say thanks for everyone who's posted so far, i know what your all saying and i really hate to think she isn't who she is being 20 and the person she tells me in the pictures, ect. but as you all have pointed out there's red flags..i guess part of me just really wish it was real though and try figuring out as much as i could to prove it..i think as much of a pain i know it will be not just for the time i've put into all of this but for not putting things together sooner, then again i wanted to be sure i had a bit to go off of as proof. if she really is under the age of 18 i already know, i did ask her within a week or two of knowing her if she really is the age she says and if had to would send a picture of her id..all i know is i'll have a talk with her soon as i'm able to and bring all of this up and settle it once and for all..of course i do have a heart and i'll handle it the best i can.

thanks once again everyone, hopefully i'll take all of knowledge with me when trying to mess with ldr again at some point..guess this is just one of those mistakes i have to take from it and learn what's wrong about it.