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**kattermole** · July 4, 2013, 05:04 PM

He does it because he loves and cares for you, and I imagine you would do the same for him in your position? I get that you might feel uncomfortable about it and honestly I think that's good because it shows you aren't taking it for granted, but your SO would hate to see you struggle and know that he could help but is unable. I think particularly LD it's really difficult to see your partner struggle and not be close enough to help, so this is a way he can be there for you.

**Black_Halloween** · July 4, 2013, 05:09 PM

Originally posted by kattermole View Post

He does it because he loves and cares for you, and I imagine you would do the same for him in your position? I get that you might feel uncomfortable about it and honestly I think that's good because it shows you aren't taking it for granted, but your SO would hate to see you struggle and know that he could help but is unable. I think particularly LD it's really difficult to see your partner struggle and not be close enough to help, so this is a way he can be there for you.

I 100% agree. My SO sometimes has a hard time accepting money but we (his family, my family and I) do it because we love him and we don't wanna see him suffer.

**Chris516** · July 4, 2013, 05:14 PM

I am going to take several positions this. Leaving the 'worrywart' comment for last.

1. Him-He is being very gallant by telling you not to worry about the cost. He sounds like he is ever the gentleman. When the two of you spend physical time together, I hope you let him pay for dinner if he wants' to?

2. You-You do have a point. Because, By not contributing to the cost, it would give practically any person an 'attack of the guilts'. At the same time, please be thankful, that he even wants' to pay for everything.

3. Worry Wart-Finally, You can worry yourself to death, or achieve believing his reassurances.

**lyonsgirl** · July 4, 2013, 05:49 PM

I guess it depends on what he's buying you/paying for.

If you really want to pay him back, or if it's a really big deal to you, tell him that. If you want to pay him back, keep track of what he pays for and save what you can to give it back to him.

**squeeker** · July 4, 2013, 06:01 PM

I get your feelings. I would feel similar and hate when my SO has to spend money on me. Though most of my relationship so far as been me giving him money for things or buying him things. Because I had the job. But it looks like it'll be his turn soon because he will graduate before me and get a job and I'm starting university which means so much less money for me!!

When you love someone you want to provide for them and don't want to see them bad. Let him buy you things. I know my SO would love to be able to do more of that for me... so don't feel bad. One day you might make more than him and have to help him more out.. or it will balance out in other ways in your relationship.. maybe you can make him some good food or use your talents in other ways to help him out in ways money can't buy!! Don't worry about it!

**digitalfever** · July 4, 2013, 06:26 PM

My SO takes care of me. If I want/need something he'll give me the money or his card details and ill order it myself. I don't really think anything of it as I do things for him as well.

I don't think you should worry about paying him back. Maybe when it's his birthday or a holiday save for a bigger gift?

**Zapookie** · July 4, 2013, 08:40 PM

I am in the opposite boat but I am sure my SO could relate to you. I have paid for most things in my relationship as I have had more of a steady income than he has. I did it because I wanted us to still be able to enjoy our time together and unfortunately these days, a lot of things cost money. We'd still have days where we'd make a conscious effort to not spend a dime, but to consistently have to live like that would be no fun, so I was more than willing to pay.

My SO does the same for me when he has money, so I know I'm not dating some mooch. That's the main thing I guess haha.

**Ejoriah** · July 5, 2013, 12:16 AM

Boy do i know how you feel. There have been instances where I didn't have the money to eat and my boyfriend (from however many miles away) ordered me food to be delivered using his bank details... He's also gotten me so many gifts (he'll ask me what I want for my birthday months in advance, then gift it to me and ask me "now that you have it, what else do you want?"). I really try hard to be independent with my money so it's difficult for me to gracefully accept what he does, but we've talked about it and he says he remembers the hardships of being a college student and he really does NOT want to see me go through it.

On the flip side, now that we're living together for the summer I've been paying for groceries and internet, so things do end up balancing out in the end... we don't keep track exactly though.

**Dezface** · July 5, 2013, 01:14 AM

Been there, big time. Over time, my SO has given me quite a large sum of money. It's helped me pay off bills and made visits possible. If he hadn't been willing, we probably never would have met and definitely couldn't have closed the distance. He still pays my bills sometimes and that makes me feel pretty bad.

I wish I didn't need his money. But, I do. So I've just promised myself that when I'm able I'll do more than my fair share of paying; to try, at least in a small way, to pay him back.

I think you should just concentrate on showing him how much you appreciate it, he's doing it because he loves you.

**aniay** · July 5, 2013, 03:35 AM

Thank you all for responses, It's so much easier to see the situation when others give their opinion.

kattermole, you are right that was I in his place I'd do the same.

I am a very lucky person to be with such a generous guy. I can't count how much he gave me but when I finally can I should be able to pay him back in some other way.

I am very greatfull and I'll make sure he knows it.

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