It may be over...

[Karoshi]

Hello everyone, I wanted to tell you how my relationship is going right now.
My boyfriend was acting strange in the past two days, didn't want to talk with me and stuff. And today he told me that our relationship is over. When I asked for reason, he told me that he already wants to have family, that he is tired of looking on wedding and kids photos of his classmates, he wants to have family on his own. He is 30, I am 19. When I told him I would love to have family with him, but first I need to finish my college (3 years), he didn't respond. And he didn't contact me yet. The thing is that I am completely willing to have family with him even now, but he doesn't have a job so he wouldn't be able to support a family. I am afraid to tell him that because he always gets angry when we talk about money issues.
It already happened in the past, he told me that it is over but then we talked and he changed his mind, but to me it seems more serious now. Needless to say that I am completely heartbroken. I love him more than anything, I would do anything for him... What do you think about that?

[Filly]

Your relationship started 2 months ago and he's already seriously talking about starting a family. He's being quite unfair because as you say you are in college and he's without a job. How does he expect to support a family. I'm sorry this is happening but honestly you might be better off without him. You might be hurting right now but this may be for the best. Good luck.

[Dezface]

Yeah, he's being unrealistic. He may desire to start a family but the timing isn't right. Not for him or you.

Of course, he may be trying to tell you that you're too young to start a family with. Maybe he's realized he wants someone older, who's at that point in their life. If that's the case then there's not much you can do. It's a big age gap. It can work for some, but not for others. The key is being at the same place in life. Which you two are clearly not.

[Jess!]

Having a family is not something you can do for another person. It has to be for yourself.

Your relationship is still quite new and that is a serious topic. Even if you really wanted to start a family, if you cannot even talk about money issues - which are one of the main concerns in families at all points of life - then it does not seems you both are (already?) close enough to be a family.

Maybe he starts to think that you are in very different stages of your lives which is okay, even though hard to handle. He has to be able to figure that out and tell you, and maybe you should write him you need to have a serious conversation about your future...

[Chris516]

You may be more than ten years younger than him, but he has a lot of growing up to do. A gentleman would never pressure a lady to have children, before she has even had a chance to live, past high school.

[LadyDaemon]

I'll echo what has been said here,he's being unrealistic. He's also trying to put the cart before the horse. It would be really foolish to have a family when you have no financial means of supporting them. Not to mention you guys have only been together for a couple of months so it's really too soon in my opinion. Also,please do not jump into having babies and getting married to him this early on and only being 19,you have so much life to live and so many other things to do then to pop out babies for a guy you've only been dating for 2 months. You should go to college,hang out with your friends and live your life. If he can't understand that then you both are in two totally different places and maybe you're better off without him.

[Kristin91]

While it's obviously hard to hear him say things like this, and ending your relationship, if you're not with a guy that can agree to go at your pace then he's not worth it. You're both at different stages in your life. He's 30 and wants to settle down and have kids, you're 19 and you want to have fun.

[Karoshi]

Thank you all for your responses <3 I will just clarify my original post - he didn't think about having children with me, for he knows I am too young... He wants to leave me because of this

[Black_Halloween]

Let him leave. You both are at two different places in your lives. Focus on yourself <3

[LadyDaemon]

Let him leave. You both are at two different places in your lives. Focus on yourself <3

This...

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

I know you're hoping you can finish college and you'll be ready to settle down, but that's not necessarily going to happen.

What he's probably hearing is his biological clock ticking. I think it'd be unfair of him to expect you, at 22, to be ready for marriage and kids. But it's also unfair of you, on him, to ask him to push back something he's telling you he wants to start pursuing now in the hopes that you might be ready when you finish college. If he's prepared to let you go because he wants to start a family now that badly, I think that has to tell you something about what his priorities for himself are.

And as everyone else has said, this is a new relationship. I think it'd be easier for you to let him start the stages of his life that you're not ready for now, than pursue this relationship for the next three years and find out that actually, you don't want kids and marriage and settling down right away when you finish college.

I'm sorry this is happening for you, but I think his need to start a family is his priority, and I don't think you're going to be ready for that in the time frame that he seems to want.

[chizatlauren]

I just want to give you a hug first.

But it is true, you have to give him up if you are not on the same page. You are young and if having a family is not yet your priority then push yourself just because your SO wants it. It is unfair for you because he is being too selfish. If he wants a family then he should go find someone else who's willing to do that. and you've only been together for two months *gasp*! You barely know each other!

[Karoshi]

Thank you for your support everyone. In my mind I know that all of you are right, but in my heart... is different, you understand. I hope that today we will finally have serious talk about this issue and I still hope that he will apologize and change his mind... He is very impulsive and sometimes just something come up his mind, like when I told him I got accepted to college and he wanted to break up because I won't have time. I'll keep you updated.
And thank you again <3

[LadyDaemon]

He is very impulsive and sometimes just something come up his mind, like when I told him I got accepted to college and he wanted to break up because I won't have time.

This concerns me because if he already tried to break up with you on impulse because of this and because of you're difference in priorities in life,what's to say that if he did change his mind that he won't try to break up with you on impulse again in the future? Even worse,what if you guys got married and had kids and he decided to leave you on impulse,what would you do then? I honestly don't think it's worth it to stick around for someone who's going to break up with you every time they get the inkling that you're not on the same page and willing to go with what they want.

[Ejoriah]

For me the red flag was that you are "scared" of talking to him about money issues because he gets angry. Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't think it's healthy to be scared of talking about something this basic with your partner...