Hey everyone,
My SO and I have been in a LDR for almost 3 years, We haven't met yet in person because he has some reasons and now his financial problems so he couldn't visit me and I cant visit him for personal things that I can't discuss here. In my last thread I talked about if I should leave this relationship or keep it, So I've decided to be in this relationship and wait more for him for his financial to get better and then he can visit me. He told me couple months ago that he wants to see me and it's his dream and goal he said he just can't do it in the moment because of his problems.
The problem is:
The past months he stopped saying I love you or I miss you ...etc. I can't really remember when was the last time he said those things, its been long time. Our relationship has become dry and cold, he used to call me "babe, Hun" and now he barely says it. If I say I love you to him he will just say "thanks or how sweet", If I tell him I miss you, he will say "thanks" too or he will say it back not meaning it and that really hurt it makes me like if I am annoying person. He tells me that he misses me only when I ask him. I remember couple months ago he called me on voice and we used the Cam he seemed very happy that he was seeing me and I could tell by his voice tune that he missed me but he didn't say it he didn't tell me that he missed me. I dunno why, why is it hard for him to tell me that, or is he just trying to keep our relationship dry and cold. We don't have sexy time as much as before, we used to do it at least 1 time a week or every 2 weeks, now it happens every 2-3 months and the sexy time is getting colder too and this makes me less confident about my self. It seems my SO romance and sensitivity are gone forever, he's in this way for a long time and it is not getting any better. I tried to be nice and sweet talk to him and it might changed in him little bit but in the same time it hurts that him being dry. I remember in the beginning of our relationship he argued with me how cold I am with him, after all that I've changed my cold attitude and he was happy about it, now hes becoming the cold one. So now I pretend to be cold and dry with him I stopped saying those sweet words or saying I miss you, because I know if I said I miss you to him he will say thanks and this will hurt me.
From what I see he still talk to me and he still wants to talk to me, he even talks to me at late hours sometimes also at his work if he has time, but still he has those cold responses mostly on IMs. and If I need help from him he will make time to help me. he seems he still care about me but he stopped showing it. It feels weird somehow, I sometimes think that if he lost his interest in me or something like that and he's just treating me like a normal friend.
I sent him a long Email about this subject and other things that has been bothering me, he read that Email and he didn't even tried to discusses it with me until I told him so. He doesn't want to argue with me anymore.
My SO has been under really bad stress, from his work from his life. This stress has started after a year of our relationship, since then it kept getting worse day by day. I have seen him changing from a sweet, nice and sensitive person to a cold dry person. I don't blame him changing into this person, he told me about what has been going on with him and his problems are very stressful in both sides personal and work. Also maybe I made him change that way cause I tried to argue with him about the changes in our relationship and he is not in mood for more stress. I tried to be patient and understanding and wait for things to calm down so I can discuss it with him but nothing's changed. I couldn't help it I argued with him. I didn't want this relationship to collapse. maybe I'm selfish I dunno.
I tell my self sometimes why is he still with me, why is he talking to me, why spends all this time with me and we still haven't met yet in person, why he tells me it's his dream and goal to see me while he's cold with me, am I really that Important person to him.
I didnt know who to tell this story
I just wanted to get it off my chest cuz its been bothering me.
If you have any comments and advice I'd appreciate it
thank you
My SO and I have been in a LDR for almost 3 years, We haven't met yet in person because he has some reasons and now his financial problems so he couldn't visit me and I cant visit him for personal things that I can't discuss here. In my last thread I talked about if I should leave this relationship or keep it, So I've decided to be in this relationship and wait more for him for his financial to get better and then he can visit me. He told me couple months ago that he wants to see me and it's his dream and goal he said he just can't do it in the moment because of his problems.
The problem is:
The past months he stopped saying I love you or I miss you ...etc. I can't really remember when was the last time he said those things, its been long time. Our relationship has become dry and cold, he used to call me "babe, Hun" and now he barely says it. If I say I love you to him he will just say "thanks or how sweet", If I tell him I miss you, he will say "thanks" too or he will say it back not meaning it and that really hurt it makes me like if I am annoying person. He tells me that he misses me only when I ask him. I remember couple months ago he called me on voice and we used the Cam he seemed very happy that he was seeing me and I could tell by his voice tune that he missed me but he didn't say it he didn't tell me that he missed me. I dunno why, why is it hard for him to tell me that, or is he just trying to keep our relationship dry and cold. We don't have sexy time as much as before, we used to do it at least 1 time a week or every 2 weeks, now it happens every 2-3 months and the sexy time is getting colder too and this makes me less confident about my self. It seems my SO romance and sensitivity are gone forever, he's in this way for a long time and it is not getting any better. I tried to be nice and sweet talk to him and it might changed in him little bit but in the same time it hurts that him being dry. I remember in the beginning of our relationship he argued with me how cold I am with him, after all that I've changed my cold attitude and he was happy about it, now hes becoming the cold one. So now I pretend to be cold and dry with him I stopped saying those sweet words or saying I miss you, because I know if I said I miss you to him he will say thanks and this will hurt me.
From what I see he still talk to me and he still wants to talk to me, he even talks to me at late hours sometimes also at his work if he has time, but still he has those cold responses mostly on IMs. and If I need help from him he will make time to help me. he seems he still care about me but he stopped showing it. It feels weird somehow, I sometimes think that if he lost his interest in me or something like that and he's just treating me like a normal friend.
I sent him a long Email about this subject and other things that has been bothering me, he read that Email and he didn't even tried to discusses it with me until I told him so. He doesn't want to argue with me anymore.
My SO has been under really bad stress, from his work from his life. This stress has started after a year of our relationship, since then it kept getting worse day by day. I have seen him changing from a sweet, nice and sensitive person to a cold dry person. I don't blame him changing into this person, he told me about what has been going on with him and his problems are very stressful in both sides personal and work. Also maybe I made him change that way cause I tried to argue with him about the changes in our relationship and he is not in mood for more stress. I tried to be patient and understanding and wait for things to calm down so I can discuss it with him but nothing's changed. I couldn't help it I argued with him. I didn't want this relationship to collapse. maybe I'm selfish I dunno.
I tell my self sometimes why is he still with me, why is he talking to me, why spends all this time with me and we still haven't met yet in person, why he tells me it's his dream and goal to see me while he's cold with me, am I really that Important person to him.
I didnt know who to tell this story
I just wanted to get it off my chest cuz its been bothering me.
If you have any comments and advice I'd appreciate it
thank you
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