Hello, everyone (okay, yes, I am back posting! I promise it isn't about jealousy, though!). Edit: Wow, that's long! I swore this would only be a couple sentences when I started out on it! Short, though far less entertaining or informative version (i.e. you might have a better answer if you read the whole thing, but I appreciate that I did write a novel, yet again) is: talking on phone and video call far less, when we know text=not as good for us and up until very recently talk on the phone almost every day. Why is this happening and what can I do about it?
I feel like I have been in a big funk the last few days or more (well, definitely more, but I feel like I have really resigned myself to it lately). What makes it worse is that my SO and I haven't talked on the phone for more than a week. I know, that doesn't sound like super long to some, and we are still talking pretty much every day with text through MSN or Skype and did a Skype video call last weekend. For he and I, though, as our relationship has become more serious and we have become closer, we have talked on the phone pretty much every day (even if it is regular stuff, serious talks, or exciting news) and we both miss it even just going one day with out. We have both acknowledged, too, that phone calls and video calls make us feel far closer and have far fewer misunderstandings than text. So, a week without talking on the phone is a very long time for us (and, yes, even after the initial phase of infatuation wore off).
Honestly, I think I have fallen into some kind of depression and during the day I sort of think that it would be best for me to go hide in a hermit shack and not talk to him or anyone for awhile, but then 7pm (that and after are when my minutes are best and he usually calls me since he has some special low rate) rolls around and I find myself waiting for him to call and he hasn't. He surfaces sometime on Skype later or I go looking for him on Skype and then we just fall into chatting (with typing) there. I should mention, too, that he and I are working on the Going the Distance video project, which felt really fun for us both to share at first (Boo! Did you know that both tickets would originate from the closest airport to the winner's hometown and that it is only open to residents of the USA? Well, he will enter and if, on some crazy chance, we win, then I guess we will figure things out) and now I feel a bit like he is obsessing over all the technical aspects and kind of ignoring me! In the interest of talking to him first before going on a rant at the forum (see? I'm learning
), I asked him tonight if he felt like we were off and not talking as much. He said that he didn't think we were off and that Skype is most convenient for working on the project together. Yes, he said that we haven't talked on the phone as much lately, but more calls could remedy that.
Still, I have this really oogy feeling about this change in our communication pattern...which has maybe become progressively worse since I returned from our visit at the end of July. Since we have been official, he has been pretty consistent about not only calling me, but wanting to call me and even giving it several tries if he has trouble reaching me, and it is rare that I would ever have to remind him to call me like I sort of had to today (to be fair, he did try to send me a video call ring and I kind of ignored it because I was in the living room and my Mom was sitting right next to me, and that was after I already complained about us feeling off). Yesterday, I was trying to be a bit flirtatious with him and he acknowledged it by saying something about thinking about me when he went to sleep, but the rest of the time it didn't really phase him and he was still plugging away at techie stuff (though, today, he made a special effort to watch one of my favourite shows, SYTYCD, because I have him more interested in it and so we could talk about it and even kept calling in for the person I wanted to vote for...which was sweet, but I felt like that implied we would talk on the phone tonight after I had watched it in a different time zone). A couple days ago, I told him that the meteor shower would be at the same time as our five month anniversary, which I thought was vastly cool and thought he would too, and he briefly acknowledged it. We've never made a huge deal about our month anniversaries, but always make a point to talk on the phone or webcam around the same time and acknowledge/ celebrate in some way (although, I think the six month and, hopefully, year should be bigger deals)...so I wasn't expecting him to send me a diamond necklace in the image of a meteor, but I thought he would be a little less...grumpy or meh about it (okay, not about jealousy, mind...but I notice that some of his friends, who are now on my Facebook, are going to this speakeasy-themed party at his favourite bar on Friday, so I wonder if he wants to go but feels bad about essentially ditching me on our anniversary which is the 12/13th (there's some debate over which, so it is a combo of two days). If he wanted to go, I would rather him just tell me in advance and then I would have gotten over it sucking and we could have secured a little anniversary e-date the day before or after). Since I am in a very blue state, the worst case scenario is that now that I have told him that I love him (and he is not ready to reciprocate with words yet), the feeling of a chase is off and he thinks he has me safely tucked away at home being all boring and he doesn't have to put in as much effort (again, we are both fully aware that text is lazy bones for us on a regular basis and can lead to much miscommunication). Another bad scenario would be that we have plateaued or are stuck in a rut that we don't even see we are in--I don't think that is the case, though, because we almost always have news to share with each other and even if there are only humdrum things to say, we can have dates (although, he tried to organize the movie date this time almost last week and me or both of us keep putting it off, most recently for the contest...hmmmn) and try the list on here, etc. The best, I guess, would be that it's just sort of a temporary bit of reality and distance setting in and we both need a good kick in the butt to realize that we should have our date and talk on the phone more, but somehow I still recognize that at least I am feeling out of sorts with the communication in the relationship.
Thoughts? (Am I being over-sensitive about the situation, in sensing that there is something off about the change in our communication pattern?...hey, careful, I am in a rather fragile mood. What would be the best way to interpret the situation and the underlying causes of the situation? Am I the only one in this? Should I say or do anything more about this with him and/ or with my own thoughts and feelings?). He will be calling me tomorrow, but that is because I cried the blues about it. I wish he would want to call me again!
I feel like I have been in a big funk the last few days or more (well, definitely more, but I feel like I have really resigned myself to it lately). What makes it worse is that my SO and I haven't talked on the phone for more than a week. I know, that doesn't sound like super long to some, and we are still talking pretty much every day with text through MSN or Skype and did a Skype video call last weekend. For he and I, though, as our relationship has become more serious and we have become closer, we have talked on the phone pretty much every day (even if it is regular stuff, serious talks, or exciting news) and we both miss it even just going one day with out. We have both acknowledged, too, that phone calls and video calls make us feel far closer and have far fewer misunderstandings than text. So, a week without talking on the phone is a very long time for us (and, yes, even after the initial phase of infatuation wore off).
Honestly, I think I have fallen into some kind of depression and during the day I sort of think that it would be best for me to go hide in a hermit shack and not talk to him or anyone for awhile, but then 7pm (that and after are when my minutes are best and he usually calls me since he has some special low rate) rolls around and I find myself waiting for him to call and he hasn't. He surfaces sometime on Skype later or I go looking for him on Skype and then we just fall into chatting (with typing) there. I should mention, too, that he and I are working on the Going the Distance video project, which felt really fun for us both to share at first (Boo! Did you know that both tickets would originate from the closest airport to the winner's hometown and that it is only open to residents of the USA? Well, he will enter and if, on some crazy chance, we win, then I guess we will figure things out) and now I feel a bit like he is obsessing over all the technical aspects and kind of ignoring me! In the interest of talking to him first before going on a rant at the forum (see? I'm learning
), I asked him tonight if he felt like we were off and not talking as much. He said that he didn't think we were off and that Skype is most convenient for working on the project together. Yes, he said that we haven't talked on the phone as much lately, but more calls could remedy that. Still, I have this really oogy feeling about this change in our communication pattern...which has maybe become progressively worse since I returned from our visit at the end of July. Since we have been official, he has been pretty consistent about not only calling me, but wanting to call me and even giving it several tries if he has trouble reaching me, and it is rare that I would ever have to remind him to call me like I sort of had to today (to be fair, he did try to send me a video call ring and I kind of ignored it because I was in the living room and my Mom was sitting right next to me, and that was after I already complained about us feeling off). Yesterday, I was trying to be a bit flirtatious with him and he acknowledged it by saying something about thinking about me when he went to sleep, but the rest of the time it didn't really phase him and he was still plugging away at techie stuff (though, today, he made a special effort to watch one of my favourite shows, SYTYCD, because I have him more interested in it and so we could talk about it and even kept calling in for the person I wanted to vote for...which was sweet, but I felt like that implied we would talk on the phone tonight after I had watched it in a different time zone). A couple days ago, I told him that the meteor shower would be at the same time as our five month anniversary, which I thought was vastly cool and thought he would too, and he briefly acknowledged it. We've never made a huge deal about our month anniversaries, but always make a point to talk on the phone or webcam around the same time and acknowledge/ celebrate in some way (although, I think the six month and, hopefully, year should be bigger deals)...so I wasn't expecting him to send me a diamond necklace in the image of a meteor, but I thought he would be a little less...grumpy or meh about it (okay, not about jealousy, mind...but I notice that some of his friends, who are now on my Facebook, are going to this speakeasy-themed party at his favourite bar on Friday, so I wonder if he wants to go but feels bad about essentially ditching me on our anniversary which is the 12/13th (there's some debate over which, so it is a combo of two days). If he wanted to go, I would rather him just tell me in advance and then I would have gotten over it sucking and we could have secured a little anniversary e-date the day before or after). Since I am in a very blue state, the worst case scenario is that now that I have told him that I love him (and he is not ready to reciprocate with words yet), the feeling of a chase is off and he thinks he has me safely tucked away at home being all boring and he doesn't have to put in as much effort (again, we are both fully aware that text is lazy bones for us on a regular basis and can lead to much miscommunication). Another bad scenario would be that we have plateaued or are stuck in a rut that we don't even see we are in--I don't think that is the case, though, because we almost always have news to share with each other and even if there are only humdrum things to say, we can have dates (although, he tried to organize the movie date this time almost last week and me or both of us keep putting it off, most recently for the contest...hmmmn) and try the list on here, etc. The best, I guess, would be that it's just sort of a temporary bit of reality and distance setting in and we both need a good kick in the butt to realize that we should have our date and talk on the phone more, but somehow I still recognize that at least I am feeling out of sorts with the communication in the relationship.
Thoughts? (Am I being over-sensitive about the situation, in sensing that there is something off about the change in our communication pattern?...hey, careful, I am in a rather fragile mood.
What would be the best way to interpret the situation and the underlying causes of the situation? Am I the only one in this? Should I say or do anything more about this with him and/ or with my own thoughts and feelings?). He will be calling me tomorrow, but that is because I cried the blues about it. I wish he would want to call me again!
I agree with MTK. If I were you, I would have called him back on the phone or on Skype as soon as I got the chance to be alone. My SO usually is the one to call me as well because he is always busy and will call whenever he has time, but I know that he does feel appreciated when I call him as well 
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