I don't want it to be over.....help!

[Rugger]

If it were me, I'd cut all contact and move on with my life. Your SO had feelings for this girl for 5 years and never told you?? And then he hooks up with her? I think he wanted it to happen. If he had feelings for her, but didn't want to cheat, he wouldn't have put himself in a situation where alcohol was involved. But he did. So I think you should let him have her if that's what he really wants. You deserve better than a man who would do that.

Normally I'm a fan of second chances. People make mistakes, we aren't perfect, but in this situation I think you need to move on. Everything is just wrong about this. He didn't tell you he had feelings for her and deliberatly put himself in a situation where she would be and there was alcohol involved. There are so many things he could have done differently it baffles me. He could have not drank. He could have not gone. He could have been honest with you. You need to walk away.

[her]

It seems like him asking for forgiveness is- likewise- a redemption. If you forgive him, he might think it's okay if it accidently happened again, no?

But all in all- it is your choice. Can you forgive him? Could you ever trust him to be in the same room with said woman again and not do anything?

All my condolences to you, though. I can't even imagine what this feels like.

[Laurel11]

I'd like to Delete this thread can someone PLEASE help me?