Insecure about the "first time"

[Avienda44]

My SO and I met online and are planning on meeting over Labor Day weekend. Our relationship is very intimate and open and we have shared ourselves via facetime in order to better connect. Now that it is getting closer to finally consummating our relationship we are both dealing with our own insecurities. I guess it is pretty typical, he's insecure about performance and pleasing me and I am insecure about my body. Through this we are having moments of hurt feelings and being overly sensitive about everything said or unsaid. I would hate to ruin or compromise what should be such an exciting step in our relationship. I guess I am curious about how others have dealt or are dealing with this. Makes me sad that our limited time together is full of worry and fear.

[kittyo9]

I would recommend that you ask this in the LFAD adults section due to the content.

Addressing insecurity alone, you will both have to just accept it and remember to be honest and open about things you like and don't like. Do your best to show (not just tell) your SO that you love them, their body, and the things they do, and vice versa.

[Moon]

I would recommend that you ask this in the LFAD adults section due to the content.

Addressing insecurity alone, you will both have to just accept it and remember to be honest and open about things you like and don't like. Do your best to show (not just tell) your SO that you love them, their body, and the things they do, and vice versa.

Unfortunately, she doesn't have a high enough post count to ask in the appropriate section.

Stop worrying so much, don't talk about it anymore, and just do what comes naturally when/if the time comes. If you constantly worry about your body, and are always telling him about it, you've already ruined the moment Just relax, if he didn't want you, you wouldn't be visiting. It isn't a big deal, just go with whatever the meeting brings, and enjoy yourself.

Oh! And be careful about the content of your posts, if you choose to reply to anyone, there are a ton of minors on the boards

[kittyo9]

Unfortunately, she doesn't have a high enough post count to ask in the appropriate section.

Oh! I forgot that there was a post limit to post there. Thanks for the reminder.

[lyonsgirl]

If you're truly afraid/nervous/etc for it, then if I were you, I'd wait. Your time together doesn't have to be full of worry and fear. If you let things... progress naturally... it may happen, it may not (but make sure you're protected if you think there's even a slight chance of anything happening). If it doesn't happen, don't stress out about it.

[ushiwakafox]

If you're truly afraid/nervous/etc for it, then if I were you, I'd wait. Your time together doesn't have to be full of worry and fear. If you let things... progress naturally... it may happen, it may not (but make sure you're protected if you think there's even a slight chance of anything happening). If it doesn't happen, don't stress out about it.

I agree with this - don't feel like there's a certain time limit where it is expected to start having sex. Just let it progress naturally. It's very likely that it will just happen naturally during your visit. But don't focus on that, just focus on enjoying your time with him, and it may just happen on it's own like it often does. But it's like lyonsgirl said, if it doesn't end up happening don't worry about it. Just enjoy spending time with him

[chizatlauren]

I agree with the above posters. Just let it come by naturally. Don't be insecure, I'm pretty sure your SO is also nervous about all this! Just relax and enjoy your time together. Goodluck!

[princessmaria]

Don't overthink it, and don't plan it out. If it happens, it happens. You want it to happen when it feels right and natural! I think that once you two meet in person the nerves will sort of melt away.

[summerkid]

I was very nervous, just like you, and so was my SO. I think it happens quite often in LD situations like this. And we did it the first day we met. The sex itself wasn't great, but that wasn't because we were uncomfortable with eachother. Anyways, everything else, teh foreplay and everything.. was absolutely amazing, an indescribable sort of experience. I am sure he will adore you just the way you are.. and that he'll do fine as well. And whatever else doesn't work out at first, it's not like you just met. You have a relationship.. you can talk through it and make it better. Have patience with eachother and try and remind yourself that even though tensions are high right now and it seems like this big thing, you will still be yourselves in real life too.. and things will happen a lot more naturally than you are proabably imagining now.

[Avienda44]

Thank you so much for your reply. It may have been the most helpful. I know I am ready and I know he is as well but my insecurity comes from a place of wanting to please him and do right by him. We are able to talk very freely about all that we bring up so I am sure that we will be able to work out any kinks that might occur. I guess I am just looking to take some of the pressure off.