Closing the distance but I have a few concerns?

[lucybelle]

You have far more than a "few" concerns. You two really need to work some stuff out before you make this leap.

[Verojoon]

I can't understand how he could be too busy to see you. I do everything I can to move mountains so I can see my SO and he does the same for me... I spent two days crying because after trying EVERYTHING I couldn't arrange babysitting for my children to go to Boston with him on our last day of our trip and it means I get to miss out on one day with him (after getting 13!!) I don't expect everyone to be THAT needy to get every moment they possibly can, but what you are decribing is just plain weird.

Don't move. Not unless you really can get to the bottom of things. Something is up.

[Secrecy]

I would have to agree with everyone else here and what they've said, sadly. I could never in my right mind fathom why someone wouldn't want to jump at the chance to go see their SO, any chance they get. Someone mentioned having social anxiety, and, being a person who has at least a slight form of social anxiety, I can say that's never stopped me from seeking to try and make my place in my SO's family. If I'm going to be with him, I need to try and be with them too. But beyond that, not jumping at the chance to see you? Does she work a job where she is just literally unable to take time off? (I've known people in those situations before.) Can you go up there and meet with her while she goes to work or school or wherever it is she needs to go? If that's not what's causing her to come see you, then I'd definitely question what's up, and get to the bottom of things.

As much as I hate saying it, what if she's cheating on you again? They say that once a cheater, always a cheater, and I think to an extent that's true. It doesn't mean that someone may necessarily cheat ever again, but it sure means they have the propensity to do it again. It's like a recovering alcoholic. All it takes is one good run, before putting a single drink back in their hand to possibly make them stumble down the bad path again. I'm not saying she is cheating, but you really need to pull at her and get her to explain why it is she doesn't seem to make any attempts at seeing you. Something's fishy.

I would say get a visit or two under your belt to see how you do together before you even think about moving down with her. Find a way to get your job back, very quickly. Doing it on a whim is a really bad idea and it makes me fear for you, hun.