Look what I found!

[Jess!]

I think they meant ''trend'' in the social sciences meaning of it: something that more and more people are doing, an up-do-date, current situation who many people relate to. Not in a ''trendy", fashionable sense...

Also, I think the idealization they meant is related to the fact that you just remember the good things (Well in our visits we don't even have the time to fight or disagree), therefore we always keep in mind the last visit and what we were feeling until the next one comes.

[Ejoriah]

I think i'm just looking at this differently than everybody else is. Sure, there are some good points but there was this one part that got me too:

The couples in long-distance relationships reported interacting with each other a little less often every day than the couples who lived close by. But the separated couples reported “experiencing greater intimacy” – or, feeling closer to their partners, as intimacy is defined here – than the couples who were geographically closer.

This is basically saying that LDRs are better than close distance relationships, I feel, which is false. Who is this person to say that LDRs have better relationships than CDRs? We all have our own issues wither or not we're close or not. Trying to prove a point while bringing somebody else down is not commendable. That's like when plus size women say "men dont like bones, they like meat plus size ftw", its just wrong in my eyes.

When somebody says word "trend" they mean fad. Its just how the media works. I'm sorry i'm being so negative about this article because it did start out alright but then it just got worse as i was reading it. I'm still shocked at the term "computer marriages"...ugh!

I think the problem is that they are reporting on a statistical study, where words like "trends" do not mean "fashion" but rather the way the data ends up going... if I said "there is a trend for people to be more and more obese in America" I'm saying that, out of all Americans, more and more of them are obese. Not that it's a fad for them to become obese. As far as saying that's how the media works, I was managing editor for a year and definitely used trend in ways that mean "A general direction in which something is developing or changing" and not "fashion."

I also don't think they're bringing down everyone. They're reporting that, of the couples they studied, LD couples OVERALL said they had more intimacy. They're not judging anyone, they're reporting what the findings of the study. It varies from couple to couple, but on average, this is what they find.

I know it's shitty when people try to bring themselves up by putting themselves down, but I really don't think that's how this article was intended. Just dismissing some myths that all LDRs suck because everyone is unhappy and nothing good comes out of it.

[Chris516]

Time for a celebration!!!!

[Ahava]

Here's the whole study/paper:

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/...jcom.12029/pdf

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/...B9962DA.d01t01

[Ejoriah]

Wow, I just re-read my past response. BH, if it felt like I attacked you, I'm sorry, that's really not what I was trying to do

[LadyDaemon]

The only thing I don't like is that they called it a "trend", what the f*** is trendy about living apart from somebody you love? and what, "computer marriages"?

Also, I hate the fact that "This new study, and others before it, have shown that long distance partners tend to idealize each other, or see them in unrealistically positive terms." what in the efff?! Unrealistic?

It seems really offensive to me, as much as I want to praise something positive I just can't, sorry :/

Honestly, I agree with this part of the article. Not necessarily about everyone,but some people. We've seen it ourselves on the forum. Some people have this hugely unrealistic idea of their partners (not that it doesn't happen in CD either) and then they come here for advice when stuff hits the fan. So,in my opinion,it's not totally false or an unnecessary statement.

OT: I'm glad you shared this with us. It's good to know that LDRs are finally having some positive light shed on them.

[NerdyChick]

In my English class last year I decided to do my comparison/debate paper on the benefits of online and long distance dating vs. closed distance dating, surprisingly there are actually a lot of studies that speak more to the benefits and positive sides and aspects, rather than just what you see from random people posting articles online, which is usually geared towards doom and gloom because of their own bad experiences with it. Of course the supporting papers and studies I used for my paper were more Ph.D written papers in psychology and other subjects that are usually harder to find, but it's good to see some google searchable stuff that speaks to the positives, it really all comes down to the couple in question, if two people both want to be together and see things work, than there really is no amount of time or distance that can hold them apart. It takes two to build and maintain a healthy relationship, whether long distance or closed distance.

[butlerfly]

Thanks for sharing this I've send it to Stephen. Hopefully he will find it as interesting as I did.

How did you find it?