Surprising him with how I look!

[NaNi]

You know what makes it even more difficult? Us guys not being allowed to say that our girls would be even prettier if they lost a bit of weight

Obviously! No girl wants to hear that! Because then we would get really self conscious about how we look right now. Our partner is supposed to find us beautiful and sexy no matter what. Never try to change somebody! But once a few pounds are lost you can just keep telling her how pretty she is.

[Rosebud]

You know what makes it even more difficult? Us guys not being allowed to say that our girls would be even prettier if they lost a bit of weight

Ooh, woe is you and the rest of the straight male population out there, forced to sometimes date chubby ladies that aren't very pretty because they don't look like supermodels. What are these women thinking, wanting to be loved and considered beautiful just the way they are, to once have someone not cram a stereotype of beauty down their throat as a majority have been their entire lives. Of course they should constantly be striving for an unobtainable goal that will make them even 'prettier' since obviously they're not pretty the way they look right now and every man they are with are just humoring them now when they give them compliments on their looks.

Yes. It sounds like things are really difficult for you.

[nicole]

ah we both got "comfortable with the relationship" and now I am buying a bathing suit and gonna try to got swimming 1-2 hours a day from now on. My SO's favorite line at the moment is "remember when I had abs?" while poking his stomach. Really, we didn't gain that much wait, but well I get insecure easliy and quite frankly, he's the vainest person I know, so the plan for both of us is to get a flat stomach by christmas

Good luck with your diet, but please be careful- I did a paper on these diets, and as soon as you come of one, you'll gain weight again. So long as it's doable, and doesn't cut out certain food groups, you should be fine. It's good to lose weight, but you have to stay healthy at the same time you know- I'm sure your SO would prefer you healthy at any rate!

[Rach321]

I'm doing the same thing! Well, he gets to see me on webcam, so he can sort of tell already that I'm more fit. I've decided to really focus on exercising, as dieting by itself is too hard to maintain long term. What is exciting is that I've been going to the gym regularly for about 2 months. I've only lost 3lbs (I'd like to lose 15 total), but I've lost many inches and several percent body fat.

Nutrisystem is not a bad choice because it really helps you to control portions and have a balanced diet. Be sure you eat plenty of veggies and fruits with it. But it's also not a bad idea to start learning how to control portions on your own by keeping track of what you eat. I don't have a specific diet plan. I just keep a record of everything I eat and drink (using an app on my ipod, but there are many websites that allow you to do the same thing). I try to keep my calorie intake between 1300-1500 per day. I've been taking a break for the past week because I was home with family, but I have noticed that it has helped me to be more aware of the choices I make and how much I eat.

Best wishes to you!!

[Rach321]

You know what makes it even more difficult? Us guys not being allowed to say that our girls would be even prettier if they lost a bit of weight

I do agree with others who have responded- it's important that you are careful about what you say, because women do tend to be very sensitive about this kind of thing, and really, I am of the opinion that people shouldn't try to change their lovers in any way (doesn't mean you can't support them when they choose to make a change, or even make suggestions to them- we just can't force them to do anything).

Nothing wrong with supporting her and encouraging her if she makes the decision on her own to lose weight. I know that a big motivator for me to get in shape is that my SO compliments me on the progress I've made. He's never once made me feel anything other than beautiful, no matter my size. But seeing how excited he is about what I'm doing definitely keeps me working toward my goals!

[NaNi]

Ooh, woe is you and the rest of the straight male population out there, forced to sometimes date chubby ladies that aren't very pretty because they don't look like supermodels. What are these women thinking, wanting to be loved and considered beautiful just the way they are, to once have someone not cram a stereotype of beauty down their throat as a majority have been their entire lives. Of course they should constantly be striving for an unobtainable goal that will make them even 'prettier' since obviously they're not pretty the way they look right now and every man they are with are just humoring them now when they give them compliments on their looks.

Yes. It sounds like things are really difficult for you.

I love this.