Plans Ruined ._.

[PjTheDino]

Okay. So. My babe was suppose to come visit me in two days. He had bought his ticket in December and we had lots of plans. But his parents don't like when he comes. This would have been our second time meeting each other (been together 5 years, last year was our first visit). He wasn't going to tell his parents until a few days before but they found out by some mutual friends and all hell broke loose. They "thought he wasn't coming back". And told him if he leaves he's not welcome back home and that he's selfish and needs to stay home to take care of his younger siblings (he has another brother who was willing to care for the kids but "no he has to be here") they took his money and I'm devastated ._.
It's my birthday today too. So I'm just sulking alone in my room.

(I turned 18 today, he's 21)
( they didn't freak out last time because his mom had told him she was going to take him to the airport, then ended up being "busy and why didn't you tell me sooner?" She didn't know he had a friend willing to take him last minute and didn't have time to be upset.)

Can someone give me some happy thoughts?
._.

[Black_Halloween]

Shit, if I was him i'd be like "well forget you then!" and move out. Im so sorry his parents are like this How in the world did they take his money?

[Ejoriah]

I agree with Black_Halloween. I am 22 and if my mother thought she could take all my money things would not go very well! It's MY money.

I am so sorry though, that's a crappy way of spending your birthday

[chizatlauren]

I just want to give you a hug.

Can your SO talk to his parents and tell them about his trip if ever he reschedules it so they won't think "He's not coming back" again? I'm hoping that you see your SO soon and he gets his way out of this.

[kittyo9]

Just want to point out that he is a legal adult and taking money away from a legal adult is considered theft. He can sue them if they refuse to return it.

If I were him, I'd sit down and talk to them first, and try to be reasonable and explain (and show) that he has a return ticket, he's not going forever, and that it's not fair to him to demand that he stay. If that didn't work, I would seriously consider moving out and leaving them behind to deal with their control and family issues on their own. I'd also plan all future trips without telling anyone except one good friend and just go whether they liked it or not.

[dizzyupthemeg]

Is this his own personal money or money his parents have provided to him? I'm assuming he still lives with his parents so I'm assuming he's somewhat relying on them still. Unfortunately, if he still lives at home and his parents take care of him, you both are going to have to deal with situations like this because they call the shots. I also don't think hiding it was the best of all plans. His parents can't adjust to the idea if he is hiding it, and it also makes it appear he is doing "something wrong."

The good news is he is 21, and at 21 he is an adult. I would have him sit down and have an adult conversation with his parents. If that doesn't work, it may be time for him to consider moving out on his own.

I'm sorry plans fell through. I know the feeling is an awful one. Hopefully he is able to make his parents see him for the age he really is soon.

[princessmaria]

My mother actually did the same thing to me.
She told me that if I went to Canada, I wasn't allowed back in her house. She took all of my money, and then one day eventually kicked me out when I defiantly told her that I was going anyway. I had hardly any money but between my SO and I we re-raised enough money for me to spend a summer with each other. My mother and I still aren't all that close anymore, but we are on speaking terms at least and she's slowly starting to accept that I'm an adult. It was just something I had to do and I'm much younger than your SO. I feel like he needs to stand up against his parents and force them to respect him as an adult. It isn't an easy thing to do and it often leads to stress and tears, but in the end, a parent's job is to let their kid go and so they will eventually get over it. I'm sorry you're going through this though, hun.
Is there anyway to refund the ticket or reschedule it? Even non-refundable tickets can sometimes be converted into credits with whatever flight agent you booked it under and it can be used later. If there's a way to salvage the ticket then there's still a chance of seeing him soon.

[PjTheDino]

Thank you guys so much <3
I really appreciate all the kind words and advice. I've never really gotten support and this really lifted my spirits.
He rescheduled for August. I'm going to be in school, but we'll make it work!
-it was his own money~ the ticket was nonrefundable and his brother was so upset with this whole situation that he paid for the August ticket. So I get to see my SO soon, after all!

Thank you so much for the virtual hugs <33

[Black_Halloween]

Wow, that's legally theft. He shouldn't be a pushover! I'd threaten to sue if they didn't give the money back.

[Chris516]

Okay. So. My babe was suppose to come visit me in two days. He had bought his ticket in December and we had lots of plans. But his parents don't like when he comes. This would have been our second time meeting each other (been together 5 years, last year was our first visit). He wasn't going to tell his parents until a few days before but they found out by some mutual friends and all hell broke loose. They "thought he wasn't coming back". And told him if he leaves he's not welcome back home and that he's selfish and needs to stay home to take care of his younger siblings (he has another brother who was willing to care for the kids but "no he has to be here") they took his money and I'm devastated ._.
It's my birthday today too. So I'm just sulking alone in my room.

(I turned 18 today, he's 21)
( they didn't freak out last time because his mom had told him she was going to take him to the airport, then ended up being "busy and why didn't you tell me sooner?" She didn't know he had a friend willing to take him last minute and didn't have time to be upset.)

Can someone give me some happy thoughts?
._.

In a previous relationship I was in before my LDR, my mother tried to pull that(making threats). I didn't let her get away with it.

While he has to abide by his parents' rules, inside their house, they can't tell him what to do outside the house. Also, If he saved up all the money on his own, he could 'lay down the law' and tell them they could be charged with theft, unless they give him the money back. The only 'legal out' his parents' have, is if for some reason, his parents' had a financial power-of-attorney over his financial decisions.

But, It sounds more like spite on his parent's part.

[Chris516]

Thank you guys so much <3
I really appreciate all the kind words and advice. I've never really gotten support and this really lifted my spirits.
He rescheduled for August. I'm going to be in school, but we'll make it work!
-it was his own money~ the ticket was nonrefundable and his brother was so upset with this whole situation that he paid for the August ticket. So I get to see my SO soon, after all!

Thank you so much for the virtual hugs <33

I am so glad his brother stepped in!!!!!

[Jade_Crystal]

Your boyfriend seems to be in a pretty tricky situation, similar curiously to the one I'm in right now (or almost). But since I'm in college, since I plan to make every step cautiously, if I feel she would be against it, or if she'll become against it by then, I would certainly leave without notice straight from college and go to him for a 2 month stay if everything goes according to plan... But since he's leaving with them, that complicates things 10 times over. You could always try to go to him if you like? I mean my SO already agreed that if I won't be able to go, he'll come the first time... But the only reason I'm not comfortably allowed to go is because she assumes he's a rapist and everything. xD

The best wishes and your boyfriend will hopefully be able to work out his tedious way sometime soon.