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How often to skype/message?

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    How often to skype/message?

    My partner wants us to message every night now.. we are 6-7 hours time distance apart - which means its early morning for her, and late night for me..

    Its beginning to do my head in! I'd prefer it if we messaged maybe 3-4 times a week, and actually had more of a 'quality' chat rather than keeping this up every night. We noticeably have better chats at the weekend on Sunday when we're both chatting at sensible times..

    Not sure if i'm being unreasonable or not.. I'm finding the LDR thing quite difficult, and I'm not sure if this is a symptom or cause.

    #2
    Hmmmm... that was also our problem in our LDR during the first few months of our relationship. My SO and I have a 15-hour time difference so we did the following to have more 'quality' Skype time and not lack sleep:

    We talk for about 15mins-45mins every night (8pm my time, 4am his time) just to say hi and hello and see to it that we're both okay and tell each other about how our day went. Then on weekends, Sat and Sun, we talk on unlimited time. It helps us both to miss each other because we only have limited time to talk on weekdays and also still be able to see each other to know that we're both okay.

    It's up to you but I think that suggestion might help.
    Last edited by chizatlauren; July 24, 2013, 07:38 PM.

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      #3
      There really is no "correct" amount of time for communication. It all depends what works for the two of you. Skype is a rare thing for my SO and I. We manage text through out the day most of the time, and set aside Sunday nights for some real quality time. Once a week for long conversations filled in with the random text work really well for us. You will find others here talk all the time or some only do a few days a week. It all depends on your schedule and what you are comfortable with.

      If you aren't comfortable with skype every night, especially with the time difference, talk to your SO about it. Let your partner know what you prefer and try that for a few weeks instead.

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        #4
        Agree to talk to your SO about it, since it's really something that's unique to each couple. When we're long distance, my boyfriend and I skype every evening after he comes home from work and has finished running errands/shopping/etc. We'd talk for 3h+ on skype (video and voice) but we'd also do our own thing during that time - I have schoolwork, we'd play separate games... kinda like being in the same room but doing separate things.
        So, here you are
        too foreign for home
        too foreign for here.
        Never enough for both.

        Ijeoma Umebinyuo, Diaspora Blues

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          #5
          I agree with everyone else about talking to your SO about it. When me and my fiance were LD we talked everyday but we spent the entire day apart and talked from about 8 or 9pm my time until he got tired and wanted to go to bed. We didn't skype a whole lot because our skype chats were always messing up for one reason or another. But this is what worked for us. Like others said,it really depends on the couple and what works for you guys.

          ♥ In 666 Ways I Love You & My Heaven Is Wherever You Are. I'm For You. ♥

          We Met: June 9,2010
          Back Together: August 1,2012
          First Visit: September 21,2012 - September 29,2012
          Second Visit: January 13,2013 - February 24,2013
          Engaged: January 17,2013
          Closed The Distance-MS - AZ: June 15th,2013
          Moved To FL Together: November 14,2013
          We Got Married! - July 3,2014
          SO Graduated College - August 7,2015
          Moved to Ky - August 10, 2015

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            #6
            I can understanding the time difference. My SO is 9 hours ahead of me. We video chat and message every day. I wait up for him and he wakes up early after working his late shift. The weekends we get to spend extra time with each other. It's something I look forward all day. The anticipation of seeing my love before I sleep is wonderful. For me, seeing each other makes the distance a lot easier.

            I also agree about talking with your SO and both working out a schedule suitable for the both of you. You'll be able to find a comprimise.

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              #7
              I agree with all the other girls! Talk to your SO and explain her that you would prefer to chat (in a schedueled way - you two decide the dates at you best conveniance) and text rarely, due to the time difference. That way, you won*t be mad or tired when talking to her and you will put all your attention and heart into the ”planned dates” with her. My SO and I talk on the phone almost daily (between 10 -25 min) and sometimes we run out of things to say, I mean the conversation gets boring so we try to keep it simple and not that long in order to have an interesting conversation. We text rarely (mostly I initiate the texting and he always responds to me in a beautiful way). We never talk on Saturdays, because he told me that he spends time with his friends (going out, barbecuing, etc) and although I am a little jealous of them (I never showed him a sign of jelousy!!!!) it*s ok by me, because we talk on Sunday evenings. Sometimes we don*t speak on Thursdays, because that*s when he plays soccer (after work) with his friends and he gets home very tired. That*s mostly our talking schedule and it is easier for us than for all you above, because we have the same time zone, but, unfortunately have busy work days and get home very tired (especially him!).
              Last edited by alizee; July 25, 2013, 03:36 AM.

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