My Ex is in town... meetup?

[septerra]

My ex gf broke up with me 5-months ago over the phone. (It was Long distance relationship) 300miles

She's in TOWN for 2 weeks (visiting family). I don't plan to get her BACK, however, I do want to meetup with her..












So here's what happened yesterday:




I saw her in hollywood blvd near a bar from a distance... i immediately turned away; didnt think she saw me.. my heart started racing and i started to get flashbacks.I GOT NERVOUS

i was debating whether or not to approach her because i was afraid it might get emotional..but a part of me wanted to see her and talk to her.

so I walked back and forth, eventually i saw her and her sister walking my way, so i prepared myself.. she waved at me and smiled, walked past me. i thought to myself: thats it? lol that wasn't so bad.. might as well approach her and talk to her for a minute. so i approached her along with her sister sitting down.




Conversation went like this:

ME: Hey hey
HER: Hey jake! how are you? *gets out of chair and gives hug
ME: Doing good. yourself?
HER: I'm doing great. you remember my sister
ME: yeah of course. i hope you guys are enjoying your night
HER: Yeah we are. i actually saw u earlier
ME: Ah I see. I saw you too
HER: what are you up to?
ME: My friend and I are waiting for my friend to get out of the club. it's been a long night
HER: oh so you guys went clubbing
ME: yeah, we're just chilling. what about you?
HER: We went pretty much everywhere tonight. i came here last week and we've been exploring all the places, santa monica, the grove, and all the excitement
ME: Sounds exciting. I hope you aren't getting too drunk
HER: haha noooo i'm not
ME: **Tells sister "take care of her. make sure she doesn't get too drunk. ok"
HER: haha, she knows jake. i promise! haha"
ME: It's been a while, but i can talk for a minute.
HER: Yeah ok
HER: What are you doing now? Are you still tutoring? *touches arm
ME: i'm doing telemarketing now.. blah blah
HER: ohhh coool blah blah
ME: how are things going with you in san francisco
HER: HAHA you mean what's going here in L.A.
ME: surre. guess what? I was in san francisco couple months ago playing some music with some friends
HER: oh coool. you were in san fran
ME:Yeah ill say. its good seeing you. lots on my mind to talk about. things i want to say, but not sure how to.. you know *nervous
HER: uhuh. What do you mean? *touches my arm
ME: I don't know, but yeah hopefully your summer is awesome. I'm going to get some water
HER: oh ok then..
ME: i'll be back though
HER: alright where at?
ME: The place over there. i wanna talk to you for a min when i get back *i step back
HER: Alright

SISTER: *starts to walk away. "hey how about u grab her number cus we're gonna meet some friends at nightclub"

HER: yeah, we'll at the front of the club
ME: alright at the front?
HER: Yeah
ME: I might stop by and talk for a bit. See you around


AFTER interaction


During the interaction i felt comfortable. just like talking to an old friend. i thought i would cry and get emotional lol. but After talking to her, i felt a lot better... just a bit uneventful. She was very touchy.. like it was our first date. kept touching my arm. after seeing her again, i guess I'm curious to see her again, and possibly meetup with her...


(I didn't grab her number.. didn't think they'd leave so quickly, but then i realized a 4min conversation is good enough for catching up with an ex.. (probably didnt wanna linger too long)i just felt there was much more to talk about. felt unfinished

*i decided not to go to the club to meet her. no reason since we already talked; and if i wanna see her again, i'll probably run into her at some point anyways, her sister probably didn't want us to talk for too long otherwise we'd get attached again. so they left intentionally probably.




MAIN thoughts:

Basically my reason for the thread is simple.. meetup with ex for non relationship reasons.. can it be done, should it be done, if so how, if not why not?


i know meetup could be bad idea, but my mind is curious. and yes, im still attracted to her obviously. maybe there's a need for closure, or some false hope that something romantic could happen. but...

she was touchy, and gave me the eyes like she's been thinking about me for a while. i know there are women who need to believe that many men want them, especially ones they dated. so they play with them and pretend to be all touchy and flirty; could be an ego thing, they need to think they are impossible to get over.. so they'll use exes for validation with no intention of actually getting back together.


(ive been with a few girls since then, so i'm NOT in scarcity mindset or anything.)


****Since she's in my town for 2 weeks, might as well as least meetup once and catchup.. right? THOUGHTS?

[Rugger]

Do you still have feelings for her?

[temporaryuser]

what was the reason for the breakup? Obviously you still have feelings for her, or you wouldnt have wanted to talk to her when you saw her
Maybe she was feeling you out to see if you would even speak to her.
I wouldnt try to hunt her down, if you were in a realtionship, she knows how to get in touch with you. if you happen to see her again, see if she shows interest in talking to you, and ask if she has the time to go for a coffee or whatever. I wouldnt ask for more than that at this point.

[mllebamako]

It depends if you would want the possibility of getting into a relationship with her again or not. I decided to see my ex again about 4 years ago. I was flying through his city and had 2 days there. I promised myself it would just be a friendly visit. Of course, didn't turn out like that. We ended up deciding to try the relationship again, which I regretted as soon as I got back on the airplane.

[kiara_silver]

I think it depends on a ton of things. Do you still have feelings, would you potentially want to get back together, why did you two break up, ect ect. But you two broke up just 5 months ago, so feelings might still be fresh, you just have to be careful with what you want. Best of luck

[Ejoriah]

I personally think you shouldn't do it because your feelings are still fresh... the fact that you brought up to her on your first conversation that you wanted to talk to her about "things on your mind" indicates to me that you're not ready to have a purely-friendship relationship with her.

[septerra]

Thanks for responses ;P

NO i don't want to get into a relationship with her again. but the fact that she's here makes me feel like we should do SOMETHING.

It depends if you would want the possibility of getting into a relationship with her again or not. I decided to see my ex again about 4 years ago. I was flying through his city and had 2 days there. I promised myself it would just be a friendly visit. Of course, didn't turn out like that.

I never want to get in a LDR again. but i feel like i might want to stay in contact with her..

what was the reason for the breakup? Obviously you still have feelings for her, or you wouldnt have wanted to talk to her when you saw her
Maybe she was feeling you out to see if you would even speak to her.
I wouldnt try to hunt her down, if you were in a realtionship, she knows how to get in touch with you. if you happen to see her again, see if she shows interest in talking to you, and ask if she has the time to go for a coffee or whatever. I wouldnt ask for more than that at this point.

I know.. The reason she broke up with me is because i tried to breakup with her first, and she saw my pain and that i cried trynig to do so then then 3 days later she said she doesnt want to keep hurting me, and we should be friends instead. the thing is she tried to contact me 3 weeks after breakup.. im not saying shes trying to get back together, but her behavior showed lots of interest, and i feel like its a natural thing to at least meetup with her; even though i dont see myself doing a LDR again.

I personally think you shouldn't do it because your feelings are still fresh... the fact that you brought up to her on your first conversation that you wanted to talk to her about "things on your mind" indicates to me that you're not ready to have a purely-friendship relationship with her.

yeah its strange. i feel like i want to keep the lines of communication open for the future. she only visits LA once a year, so she'll be here for only 2 weeks.