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**Altessa** · January 30, 2010, 04:32 AM

An LDR is an LDR and to me it doesn't matter how far the geographical distance is, but rather how far apart your hearts are. I think it's only natural to miss him, especially since it's been so long since the two of you last saw each other.

You say you're not sure what he thinks about you, and that he rarely reveals his emotions to you. Is that part of his personality? Some guys I know aren't all that in touch with their emotional side so it's not unnatural for him to not verbalize stuff like "I love you". Besides, you guys have been together for more than a year, and you've known each other a long time. Perhaps he feels that he doesn't need to say those three words anymore, that you should know that he loves you. Why else would the two of you have stuck by each other for so long? No guy talks to a girl every single day if he doesn't have at least some interest in her. I'm sure he has feelings for you; you just have to get it out of that "tough guy" exterior. :P

It sounds like the situation is looking up now that he's finished with his house moving. I would definitely suggest that you talk to him honestly about how you feel, and that you are only worried because you love him, not because you doubt him. Did you feel this unsure for a long time? Or was it just a recent thing?

**Englishlover** · January 30, 2010, 05:08 AM

Hi Altessa,

Thanks for your reply. I feel unsure if he really wants to see me. I see other couples who visit each other more than once a year.
I forget to tell you that he has fear of flying. Therefore, it is harder. I have to fly to see him , but he will buy the ticket for me.
I have family in Thailand too so, I have to travel a lot. The thing is that he has not been sure when I can go to see him.

I agree with you that No guy talks to a girl every single day if he doesn't have at least some interest in her. We still have topics to talk
even we have known for 5 years ( 3.5 years of friendship and 1.5 year of bfgf).

Thats a bit more story.

**Tanja** · January 30, 2010, 05:18 AM

I know what it's like when guys never show their emotions, though I've never dealt with it in an LDR but I'm imagining that it's harder in it cause you're physically far apart and if you're emotionally too then it can be quite daunting to deal with...

Geographically it doesn't matter how far apart you are, LOVE KNOWS NO DISTANCE, right? But if you can't be sure whether he really loves and miss you it can be stressful. You should definitely talk to him about it. Tell him it's difficult for you when you don't know where his heart lies in the relationship and he has to be more open about his feelings.

LDR's are mostly based on communication and talking and if you can't be open and comfortable with each other then it's gonna make it harder to see it through and stick together for years to come.

Talk talk and talk, that's the key to making it work no matter where you are on the planet.

**maja** · January 30, 2010, 05:30 AM

i agree to tanja. lack of communication isnt best thing for an ldr. i think he might just be a bit scared of committing to you, because hes afraid he will get hurt or anything like that? a ldr is sometimes hard but with the right apporach everyone can manage. just (as tanja said) talk to him lots and itll help. do you guys skype or anything alike? from my personal experience "seeing" each other helps a lot and you talk more, thus i get very upset after not webcamming with him for a few days..

**ioanna** · January 30, 2010, 01:49 PM

i completely second Altessa's post..
My SO is not very expressive when it comes to words, he never has been... he is very affectionate, but its mostly through physical touch and small things he does.. now that we have been LD, i ve had some troubles because i dont have the hugs, embrace, looks, kisses and small things anymore... but the fact he makes time for me everyday, and the fact i know how he feels about me and about a lot of other things,and how he expresses those feelings in his unique way, i dont have insecurities about it...
i hope you get to see him soon, he might be a lot more expressive in person and it will give you the boost you need... and if not then maybe talking openly about your feelings could at some point come along...
good luck : )

**Zephii** · January 30, 2010, 02:24 PM

Australia and UK aren't too far - nothing, in my opinion is too far. But that might be the romantic in me coming out.
I'm wondering why you don't just ask him how he feels and explain to him that you need more affection. Nothing will get you what you want faster than open communication.
Good luck!

**NaNi** · July 10, 2010, 12:04 PM

If two people really love each other... everything can work out. My SO lives in New Zealand and I live in Germany; we are over 11,500 miles away from each other. But I never, not once, thought that it might be too far. It's a huge distance, sure, but I've never been happier in my whole life. I do of course wish that we would live closer so that we could visit each other more often (we can see each other 1-2 times per year), but I'm just so happy. And so in love.

**Sambob** · July 10, 2010, 11:01 PM

I'm UK and my SO is Aus, we have been this far apart now for nearly 3 years but have known each other for 5 years. We have had some VERY rough times, sometimes due to immigration/visa situations, finances, work leave etc going wrong we've had major rows and both doubted it's worth the pain....BUT at long last the big move is on and I should be out there around Jan/Feb time. I'm both excitd and terrified in equal measure.

We've had phases of having nothing to talk about, irritating each other with nagging stupidness and online arguments (which are hell), but deep, deep down I've always believed we'd be OK. One or the other of us has had to make the first move to find new things to chat about or discovering a new bit of patience and understanding we never thought we were capable of.

So as much as I really, truly understand how far it can feel (it's the ultimate 'other side of the planet'), if it's meant to be it will...with a little extra work to spark things up. I couldn't go that length of time without seeing him, every 6 months even has been torture, but always remember what made you believe why it would work at the beginning and hold onto that.

**AUVSXFGT** · June 18, 2011, 11:46 AM

abit half off and on topic .

My SO is from the UK . I'm from AUS .

What's the best appropriate method for a VISA for my SO to come to AUS ?

You said there were problems with obtaining a VISA

**endibot85** · June 18, 2011, 01:47 PM

Originally posted by AUVSXFGT View Post

abit half off and on topic .

My SO is from the UK . I'm from AUS .

What's the best appropriate method for a VISA for my SO to come to AUS ?

You said there were problems with obtaining a VISA

Try immi.gov.au.

You have to live together for a year to apply for a spouse/defacto visa. Your partner could go over on a Working Holiday Visa for one year and then apply for the spouse visa. if their occupation is on the skills list, they can apply for a permanent residency visa. The process is very long and complicated and needs a lot of research, plus the rules are all being completely revamped at the moment by the Australian government. My SO is Australian and I am British, and am finding it very difficult to obtain a visa.

**ClipitsWings** · June 20, 2011, 01:47 AM

I'm not in the uk >> i'm in the us, but my SO is in aus, and i probably have to agree that the only disheartening thing about this site is seeing other people's wonderful success (which i'm so glad for you guys

) while you can't meet as often. I haven't met my boy yet, but i completely get how frustrating it can be to see people always scheduling visits. having a real direction in this. however

at the same time, you should be able to see hope in it too. the way it sounds, things are on their way to falling into place for you, and i hope you can try to see all this happiness as encouraging

as for him not emulating your feelings verbally enough, i'd have to agree with basically everyone here; some people just aren't as vocal, especially if they believe you should know. also, gotta agree with the general view on communication; it'll help you

i wish you the best of luck

**endibot85** · June 20, 2011, 02:32 AM

Originally posted by ClipitsWings View Post

I'm not in the uk >> i'm in the us, but my SO is in aus, and i probably have to agree that the only disheartening thing about this site is seeing other people's wonderful success (which i'm so glad for you guys

) while you can't meet as often. I haven't met my boy yet, but i completely get how frustrating it can be to see people always scheduling visits. having a real direction in this. however

at the same time, you should be able to see hope in it too. the way it sounds, things are on their way to falling into place for you, and i hope you can try to see all this happiness as encouraging

as for him not emulating your feelings verbally enough, i'd have to agree with basically everyone here; some people just aren't as vocal, especially if they believe you should know. also, gotta agree with the general view on communication; it'll help you

i wish you the best of luck

Hey, we sound like we are in a similar situation. Perhaps we could have a chat sometime? Would be nice to have someone who knows how it feels

**ClipitsWings** · June 20, 2011, 11:12 PM

Originally posted by endibot85 View Post

Hey, we sound like we are in a similar situation. Perhaps we could have a chat sometime? Would be nice to have someone who knows how it feels

sure! i sent you a friend request ^ ^ feel free to message me whenever

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Do you guys think UK and Australia are too far for LDR?

Do you guys think UK and Australia are too far for LDR?

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