Me not telling my parents is causing fights... help!

[janina]

Me and my SO have been together for 2 months and a bit more, and we love each other a lot! Lately we've been doing extra amazing, but this last weekend he said something that's been bothering him for a while!

He said he thinks it's unfair that I haven't told my parents about our relationship yet, but I just have such difficulties being that open with my parents! All my friends and co-workers know, just not my family. The thing is, his parents know everything about me and when we skype they're usually there in the background also, and then most of the time I can't talk out loud, only type, since my parents would wonder who I am talking to. My parents are real control freaks, I can't do anything without them needing to know where i am, with who, doing what and EVERYTHING.

So now my problem is, I promised my boyfriend I would tell my parents about us before I move out, which is happening in about a week! I am so so nervous and I dont know how to face them about it could someone who's been in my situation, or just think they could have some useful advice for me, PLEASE help )

[katiecat08]

Oh boy. .I was in your shoes about four months ago. My SOs mom wasnt too thrilled to learn we met online but she came around quicker than my parents. Telling my folks was awful! My mom got very mad at me and asked me what was I thinking, that I am being naive and crazy. She brought me to tears pretty much. It wasn't until they actually met my SO that they finally gradually accepted our relationship. Try to be as mature as you can when you explain how you came to know each other. depending on your age depends on if they have much of a say in whether or not you can be together. Try to understand their opinions and try to stay as calm as you can. They want to understand why you did it and acting like an adult helps. I wish you luck. Its still taking my mom a while longer to get used to my SO and I but my dad thinks he's great so give them time to think over it and offer them a chance to meet your SO so they can get to know him as well.

[janina]

Yeah I am so so nervous I can barely eat haha! My SO's parents completely accept us and everything, and I am so scared that my parents wont its so difficult! Especially since I have never had the need to introduce a boy to my parents because this is my first relationship! :s

[abna1]

It's different for every person really depending on their relationship with their parents. If you don't normally share everything with them, then I understand why you would be nervous. I was in a similar situation about a year ago.
I have a great relationship with my parents, as in we can talk openly about pretty much everything. The only thing I never shared was when it came to guys. So when the relationship with my SO started to become more serious I got kind of nervous. He by then had already told his whole family and I had met most of them as well. They were so lovely to me. I felt a bit guilty for not telling my parents, because there I was in this great relationship and they had no idea. Well they did, but I didn't know that yet
When I finally told them, I found out that they had been suspecting it ever since I came back from my voluntary work. They were very understanding and can't wait to meet my SO soon hopefully.
I know it may be more difficult on your end because you met over the internet (if I remember that correctly). Keep in mind parents tend not to be so understanding of that, because they simply don't know anything about it. For them, the only way to meet people, is to go out and mingle. They only hear some horror stories on the news of older guys chatting up young girls. You're 16, so I can understand that your parents will be very careful and are worried about you and your well-being.
Just try to explain your situation. How you met, how long you've been talking to each other, how he makes you feel etc. Maybe you could arrange for them to meet your SO on Skype or something like that, so they know who you are dealing with.
I'm pretty sure, that they will warm up to the idea once they get to know him better, if they're not surprisingly fine with it once you tell them.
Good luck !

[ushiwakafox]

I can kinda relate to this, my parents were also very on top of everything I did, and who I was hanging out with. It was out of love, and I do understand. I'm sure they would be the same way if I met my SO over the internet, they would always tell me to be careful who I talked to on the internet cuz they could be bad people X)

But anyway, I guess the best advice I could give is pretty prepared for reactions you may not like, but try to keep a level head, explain the situation calmly, and resist the urge to fight. Tell them that you respect and understand their concerns, but you have reason to believe that your SO is a genuine person and you two are in love. I'm sure it would help a lot if they could talk to him on skype, then they could see for themselves that he's a good guy.

Good luck with everything. Be brave! Do it for your SO, he deserves this.

[TwoThree]

My parents are real control freaks, I can't do anything without them needing to know where i am, with who, doing what and EVERYTHING.

They don't strike me as control freak. I think they just worry about you because you are their daughter and you are very young. If I had a 16 year-old daughter I'm pretty sure I'd want to know what she's up to and who she's doing things with.

You should just talk to them. Explain everything, talk about him, how you two met, etc. And arrange a Skype convo with your parents present so they can see what kind of person he is and it might put their worries to rest. It would also teach them that you are a responsible person and that they can trust you to make the right decisions in life.