Meeting for the 1st time and attraction

[Freebird]

My relationship with my boyfriend is going great so far. We talk through text countless times during the day, everyday, talk on the phone every other day or so, and video chat once a week. I've never met him in person but have known him for about 5 years online as a friend (though we are talking so much more than when we previously did) then, a month or so ago, we decided to call it "official".

We are planning to meet in about 6 months and I am already very excited though it seems so far away. I really do like and care for him very, very much.

However I am nervous, even now. I fear that he will get bored of me or lose his attraction before I get a chance to meet him and he'll change his mind. I fear that the flame will die out. I fear that when we meet in person he might not be attracted to me still.

I trust and believe him very much, but I'm so nervous that I'LL do something to screw this up. Sometimes I think about it to the point I feel extremely anxious.

Anyone feel this way with LDRs? Especially when you've never met your SO? Wish there was something I can do, even being nearly 7k miles away, to REALLY show him just how much I like and care for him...

[Chlo]

I fear something similar to you it seems.
Although, me and my SO don't yet have plans of meeting up anytime soon.
I'm not so sure what you can do to prevent feeling this way, all I know is I talk about it with my SO. He attempts to calm me and reassure me that he won't get bored and so forth. It's cute of him really, since I know it can be a very annoying trait of mine. It's one of the hardest things in a LDR for me, but I guess we'll just have to learn to trust a little more :P

[princessmaria]

My SO and I went through a huge rough patch before we met in real life. It was so terrible that, if not for us meeting when we did, we would have given up on each other and never found out how wonderful we truly are together. I am so glad now that we didn't let it stop us from meeting so that we had the opportunity to find out how strong our love and attraction was in person. My only advice would be to see things out. No matter how difficult it gets, before you decide to end things completely with your SO, meet each other in person first. If you don't, there will always be that "what if?" or "what could have been?" lingering. The fear of those two things is what made us move forward together and brave through the tough times. Good luck!

[alizee]

I have never met my boyfriend yet, but we will meet in September, which is only one month away!!! I feel excitement/ anxiety at the same time though!!!! I don*t fear the fact that he will not like me, or I will not like him, because our connection for 3 months already is, I think, deeper than any other physical trait. When you have a powerful communication and feel understanding, sincerity and confidence from his part this is the most important thing. I also saw pictures with him (and he saw pictures with me) and he looks like a normal person to me - I mean I don*t want to date Brad Pitt!
What I do fear, is that , from the pictures he sent me is that he might be shorter than me, but I do think that photos distort reality, so I am trying to be optimistic about it!
And also, what I do fear is the fist face-to-face meeting, because this is something new to us and it may make us shy. But I believe this fear can be constructive for both of us !

[churchgrim]

I'm sure anyone that started off long distance knows how you feel! My SO and I finally met after five years LD, so I was abosutely wracked with nerves before the big meet! I was worried that we'd meet and there would be no connection, or he'd see a side of me he didn't like. When we finally did meet, it was honestly a picture perfect moment and everything slid into place. If you both work hard with your relationship, I'm sure the same can happen for you. Honestly, push those thoughts from your mind - because they don't help at all and will just put a strain on your relationship because you're constantly doubting yourself. Remember, he's with you (and waiting for you!) for a reason!

Also, communication is the most important thing to have in a LDR! Talk through your feelings with your SO if you have any fears, but keep in mind that life gets in the way and if he doesn't have much time to talk, don't jump to conclusions about him losing interest. And you guys have been friends for five years now! That says something about his interest in you, so keep that in mind if you ever do feel a little insecure.

[alizee]

Talk through your feelings with your SO if you have any fears, but keep in mind that life gets in the way and if he doesn't have much time to talk, don't jump to conclusions about him losing interest. .

That*s so well said! I used to be upset by our communication (3-5 times/ week), but once again, with your help, I CAN UNDERSTAND that he has a life on his own and he has things to do! I am dying to meet him, although I have some anxiety about our meeting and it increases as time goes by, but I guess having some anxiety in this situation (first face-to-face meeting) is normal.

[Mairja]

Freebird - yes, I know only too well what you mean and how you feel. My SO and I haven't met yet either, and we don't know when we'll be able to meet although we're hoping within the next few months. I can't wait to see him, I keep daydreaming about that moment when we are face to face and I can finally put my arms around him and tell him how much I love him. I know I'm 99% certain to start crying (will make sure to be using waterproof mascara and have tissues in my handbag!). But even so, despite looking forward to this more than anything, I'm also very nervous. Although I try not to, I keep worrying about him not being attracted to me when we finally meet, despite our personalities being so compatible. And every now and again I worry about him getting fed up with the whole situation as it is currently, with us being so far apart. But I'm lucky, he's very good at reassuring me of his feelings whenever I have these doubts.

So yes, your feelings and fears are quite normal I'd say, and you're certainly not alone in having them! You just have to stay as positive as you can - it's not always easy, but like Churchgrim pointed out; you've been online friends for 5 years, that really does say a lot about his interest in you. Remember that!

[Mims27]

It is very normal to feel like you do. I'm sure a lot of us did. My SO and I had seen each other on skype hundreds of times before we met in person and I still was so scared that she wouldn't like me in person that it was kinda overwhelming. But guess what? We met and she still loves me! hehe Don't let it get to you too too much. You have 6 months to prepare yourself mentally and talk to him about your nervousness. But don't over think it cause it might ruin your excitement and make it a long 6 months. It'll be ok!

[Freebird]

Thanks everyone! I appreciate the response.

Haha, yeah hopefully I'm doing SOMETHING right for him to not have run away in the year's I've known him! Just hope I can keep doing that. And as anxious as I get sometimes, I feel much more positive excitement than anything else.
I tell him everything, including how I get nervous that he won't like me when we've met in person. He said he feels the exact same, which I thought was silly because I like him so much for so many reasons! No need for him to feel that way, but I'm glad I'm not the only one.