Crappy hours and Feeling off after visits?

[kikidee]

Hey guys, I'm not sure if anyone here really knows me or my relationship, so if you have any questions then feel free to ask for details.

I just came back from visiting my SO a few weeks ago. We had a great visit, it was very fun, so that def wasn't the problem.
So Im not sure if this happens to every LD couple out there, but I feel like my SO and I always had something to talk about or could just talk on and on about nothing before we ever met. Sure we had those patches when we wouldn't have too much to say but it would only be for a few days. After our first (amazing) visit, when we went back to our separate lives, it felt like we had nothing to talk about. It was alright after a while, but then after this visit its like being apart we realize that it's hard to talk to each other when we can't spend time with each other in real life. Because being together in real life GIVES us things to talk about instead of just staring at a screen.

Even though we have only officially been dating almost 3 months, we've technically been dating for a year (that's when attraction started and we stopped trying to meet other people) so it isn't like we're quickly getting bored of each other. I'm def not bored with him anyways.

It sucks too because he's in the airforce and they recently put him on "swing shift" so he works from 3pm to nearly 12 am and my schedule is to be awake/school from 9 am to 12 am. He usually won't wake up until 11 am and so we really barely get to talk now. We mostly talk at night but by that time I'm falling asleep and he's trying to relax because he just got off work. So he's online watching videos, not really paying much attention to me like he used to. We both still love each other so much, but life seems to be screwing with us and after the last visit, trying to talk without being with each other in real life seems so difficult/stale.

Idk, thoughts?

[Zapookie]

Its normal to feel that way after visits. Going LD was super hard on me, there was a point where I was crying during every Skype call and it was ruining it for the both of us. Time heals, though. Give yourself a few weeks to adjust, and you will eventually get back to where you were prior your trip.

Also another thing I've discovered is planning your talks, or having a "date night". If you plan ahead, you're prepared to talk and you can set aside that time to just focus on each other without any distractions. It has helped my relationship a great deal.

[sarahjane1992]

I second Zapookie. It's normal to feel that way. It's been 2 weeks since my SO left after a month together. These past 2 weeks have not been great. Lots of tears.
The first few days it felt weird. Because we had gotten used to being with each other single day. There have been times I've cried when I talk to him or I'm on FaceTime.

And honestly, I'm still having moments where I break down. And my SO is so sweet and understanding with me. It's a hard adjustment after a visit is over. We *hopefully* have a visit scheduled for oct. That keeps me going!

Keep strong! It's not easy but so beyond worth it! <3

[lea22]

Its normal to feel that way after visits. Going LD was super hard on me, there was a point where I was crying during every Skype call and it was ruining it for the both of us. Time heals, though. Give yourself a few weeks to adjust, and you will eventually get back to where you were prior your trip.

Also another thing I've discovered is planning your talks, or having a "date night". If you plan ahead, you're prepared to talk and you can set aside that time to just focus on each other without any distractions. It has helped my relationship a great deal.

This is great advice, and pretty much what helped me too.