Tips on Making It Through Uncertainty

[SoPatientE]

Hello,

I am new here, although I am not new to an LDR, as I have been in one for over a year now.

I am absolutely crazy about him. Our jobs are the main cause for the distance. We will be able to bridge the gap someday, but it will be what it is for quite a bit longer. I am in this 100% and will do whatever it takes, he is having doubts. I know you all understand, the distance is hard, but I find it worth it.

What do I do? I know it isn't me, or anything about me, it is simply the fact that we don't see each other enough. Any help would be appreciated, even some words of encouragement, because I've been having some trouble these past couple of days.

Thank you so much.

[Kitty Boo]

Hey ... I'm sorry to hear you're going through a bit of a difficult time right now ... You've been in an LDR for quite a while, so you probably already do much of what I'm going to suggest, but I hope it still helps you somehow. Well, first of all, I would suggest using Skype for video calls if you don't do that already, or set aside time for phone calls at least. You could also do some sweet little things for him every now and then, like leave him little surprises to remind him of your love. Try to do more together if you can, it could be anything like watching a movie at the same time, reading a book together, working on a project together ... just anything you can together. It'll make you feel closer. And if possible, try to set a date where you will see each other again ... that will give you both a goal, something to look forward ... because without it, sometimes it can feel like the wait is endless and unbearable.

Try to talk to him about the issue, let him know how strongly you feel about it. Have a real heart to heart, don't avoid the issue and let it silently eat away at your relationship. Try to make him feel like a bigger part of your life if possible (although from what you've said, it sounds like you're already trying to do that ^_^) and not just like an add-on.

As you've said, the distance is hard, none of us can deny that, but I agree with you 100% that it is worth it. Hey, would this site and forum be something he could be interested in? There's a lot of advice on LDRs and it may help him to see that many people will in fact make it through the distance and LDRs do have happy endings. Try your best to stay strong, I wish you the best of luck, and I hope that everything goes well for you. *hugs*

[princessmaria]

Try to remind him of how great things are when you two are together and distance isn't an issue. I think all of us have to do that from time to time to keep going. Distance can really mess with your head. I'm sure he would regret it later if he were to give up now, so maybe try bringing up fun times you two have had together in person. Talk about the memories and laugh, smile, remanence! Afterward, you can try planning and talking about what you two are going to do for your next visit.