Not sure what to think

[tigerlady]

I am curious if any of you guys in ldr's have an answer or advice for this. I just left from seeing my boyfriend yesterday morning after an amazing 4 days together. From the time we got up, he was very distant. At the train station I asked if he was trying to push me away and he said no, he just hated good byes and wanted to get it over with. Then didn't say hardly anything all day, text or otherwise.
Each time we have left each other he leaves like this. Like it just doesn't bother him to be leaving and then I'm lucky if I hear from him for the first day or 2 we are apart. What am I supposed to think about that? It kills me. My friends tell me it's his way of dealing with me being gone because they know as much as I do how strong our love is, but it still brings questions to my mind everytime he does it. Is this a normal way for some men, or maybe even women, to act in this situation? It really kind of breaks my heart to not know what it means for him to be like that

[Yaaamiii]

I'd say yes...I've heard a lot of guys react this way. I agree with your friends, I think it's his way of dealing with it. Howeveeeerrr, if it is bothering you this much, then have you tried talking to him and telling him how him reacting in that way makes you feel? He isn't the only one bothered by saying goodbye, I'm sure you are too and probably need him especially when you first part ways. If you have talked to him about this (sometimes it takes more than one time...) and he continues to react that way, then that's just not fair to you D:...

[Moon]

Sounds pretty normal to me, everybody deals with leaving, and the emotions it brings, differently. It sounds like he's trying to keep his emotions in check, and then needs a day or two to get back to normal. I see your relationship is pretty new, it takes some time to adjust to how our partners react after a visit, just give him a little space, it sounds like he needs it, but remember, if he didn't care, he'd have no strange reaction at all Good luck.

[LadyDaemon]

I agree with the above posters. It's normal for some people to react that way because it's just their own way of dealing with the "after visit blues". It doesn't mean anything negative,if anything it means he loves you so much it's hard for him to deal with when you aren't there. Besides,he's a man,and most men don't like showing their emotions to their women most of the time. It's normal.

[Louise_B]

Totally normal, I left my SO for the first time on the 2nd June, and we sat around for about 3 - 4 hours (my plane was delayed) and even though we were sitting there goofing around snapchatting his friends, cuddling kissing (he told me this situation sucked) When my row got called to board the plane He was surpisingly able to just give me a big kiss and a cuddle and walk away from me. I mean he didnt even look back he kept hes head down and kept on walking. At first i was a little like ' umm look back look back' but then i realised. My baby is a soldier hes been through 2 deployments hes so used to just walking away. Obviously he finds it tough but its just the way he is!

And it sounds like your SO is just exactly like that! I cried the night before i left. but the day i did actually leave i didnt cry .. matter of fact i didnt cry for about798 days after i left

[princessmaria]

I wouldn't make a fuss about it. My SO does this after almost every visit. He grows distant and comes off as cold as a way of dealing with his emotions. I've learned to deal with it, although it can be frustrating and a little disconcerting. My best advice would be to slowly approach the subject at a time where he's being open with you about how he feels. It might help soothe your mind of worries.

[Kitty Boo]

I'd agree with everyone else ... everyone deals with it differently. It's okay for girls to cry, but there's this stupid gender stereotype where boys are somehow expected to not show as much emotion ... maybe that's just his way of dealing with it. Besides, have you ever been upset and tried to act like nothing was wrong to try and hold it all together? It's like ... if you act like nothing is wrong, other people won't think something is wrong and won't ask about it? Maybe it's just me, but sometimes, if other people find out how down you're really feeling and try to console you, it makes it 10 times worse and you just lose it. Maybe he just needs to emotionally distance himself to get through the pain of you leaving. I wouldn't worry about it, because you seem to have a very happy, healthy relationship when you're not about to leave! I think it's just the fact that you're leaving ... maybe with time he will be able to open up a bit more. Good luck!

[tigerlady]

I am so relieved to hear these things from all of you. I really started to question if it was just his way of dealing with things when he said "I just want to get it over with, I hate goodbyes", but as you all know, it is new for us and it has given me a very uneasy feeling everytime. Thank you so much to all of you who have replied and eased my mind and heart.

[Kitty Boo]

I am so relieved to hear these things from all of you. I really started to question if it was just his way of dealing with things when he said "I just want to get it over with, I hate goodbyes", but as you all know, it is new for us and it has given me a very uneasy feeling everytime. Thank you so much to all of you who have replied and eased my mind and heart.

No problem! I'm glad we could all help you and reassure you. If you ever have any more problems in the future or just need some advice or reassurance, you know where to go! There will be plenty of people who are experienced in LDRs here to help you ^_^ Good luck for the future! *hugs*