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    Need Major Advice

    I want to make this long story short. I have been in a LDR for a year. She is older than me. For me, if there are 2 hearts that Love each other, distance and age have no meaning.Her and I have yet to meet. She has told me about many things in her past. I just recently found out that she has a daughter. She wasnt the one that told me. I found this out on facebook from some old posts and pictures. I dont know what to do. For whatever reason it was that she chose not to tell me, I respect her for that. I dont know the whole dynamic of her relationship with her daughter. Its doesnt matter to me. The instant I found out was the instant I forgave her. My heart and arms are wide open. This doesnt scare me off, nor does it make me want to run. I just dont know why I was never told. Should I mention it?

    #2
    Some reasons I could possibly come up with may be something to do with her past ... perhaps it was something she regrets, something bad happened, or she did something she wasn't proud of? It could be any number of things, and only she would know the real answer. All we can do is guess. But I guess all I'm trying to say is, maybe she didn't have any real intent to hide it from you. Maybe the topic just didn't come up? You could maybe try talking about family? Or even have a light-hearted conversation on children in general, or even any children you may hope to have in the future? This could get her started and open up to you about this. Or you could maybe mention the pictures, ask who the little girl was or something. If she still avoids it, then I would be inclined to think that it was something that she's not yet ready to tell you, or perhaps it was a particularly dark period of her life. Hopefully she'll be able to open up with time, don't push her, and don't stress yourself over it. Good luck, hope it helps!

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      #3
      I don't know. Personally for me for someone to not tell you they have kids is a huge thing to not tell. I just went on a date last week and didn't find out till the end of the night that he had been married for 7 years and had a kid. He lied about it on his dating profile and I was quite upset, I am not in the position to waste my time with someone with a kid. I don't want that kind of commitment.
      Are you facebook friends? or were you just snooping around? If it isn't a deal breaker for you then I'd leave it, there must be some reason she hasn't told you. Maybe her daughter died or something you hadn't considered?

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        #4
        Perhaps your right. I think the best course of action would be for me to try what you recommended. Thank You.

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          #5
          Originally posted by MR J View Post
          Perhaps your right. I think the best course of action would be for me to try what you recommended. Thank You.
          I hope it works out for you and everything goes well

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            #6
            How do you know it was a daughter and not a friend, niece etc? How old was the child in the pics? Maybe bring up how she feels about children.
            Have you ever asked if she had kids? If not, then I wouldn't consider it something she is hiding
            everything happens for a reason. We may never find out what that reason is/was, but there is a reason.

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              #7
              Personally, if my SO would "forget" to tell me that he's got kid, it would be a deal breaker for me. Are you totally sure that it's her daughter and not her friend's kid, niece etc. as Subeasley suggested? If you are not sure, I would bring it up just like some light conversation topic, if you are sure, then I would ask her directly.

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