Mental?

[JoMarie]

A lot of times I feel like an Alien. The best way I can explain it is that I don't deal with things the same way that others do. Some things are way more challenging for me then they would be for a "Normal" person. Let me explain:

I'm slightly Obsessive Compulsive. I've had OCD for a long while, and sometimes OCD takes over MORE than slightly. Everyone with OCD has different reasons for doing certain things. Some people develop OCD because of something traumatic in their lives, for some people its a way of coping with things, and I think thats my crutch. My OCD helps me deal with change easier.

My OCDs are cleaning and hand washing. I feel the need to clean, and re-clean things until I'm satisfied that there aren't any germs and everything looks just right. I know its hard to understand, how can cleaning be a compulsive thing? I probably spend 2-3 hours a day cleaning our apartment. I Sweep, mop, vacuum, dust, clean both bathrooms (clean the tub and toilet with bleach, mop the floor, bleach the sick, vacuum the rugs, windex the mirrors.) I make our bed, do our laundry etc.

Hand washing is self explanatory, I wash my hands a lot. I make sure to have hand sanitizer with me at all times, because I cannot stand to think I have germs all over my hands, so I wash them. I wash them before and after I use my computer, I wash them if I touch knobs, I wash them after I use a cart at the store...I wash my hands a ton, but it doesn't bother anyone else.

The point of this is, I thought my OCD would be a hard thing for Kevin to live with. It seems he had adjusted well. He really doesn't mind when I freak out because of dishes in the sink and he's okay with the fact that I refuse to use the dishwasher. He understands that It literally drives me crazy if things aren't where they belong, and he gladly helps me with my cleaning routine.

Does anyone else deal with anything like this? If so how does your SO deal with it?

[LadyMarchHare]

Both my SO and I suffer from similar things, except I've been clinically diagnosed and am so bad that I need medication to go about my daily life just half normal. I have OCD as well, the hand washing's a huge deal with me. Always after every meal, I carry hand sanitizer and lotion when I dry my hands out from soap. Everything must be even and stacked properly, no odd numbers, nothing more than the other.

I also have severe and frequent moodswings as well as a personality disorder that affects how I handle things and even the way I talk. Because of my problems my family thinks I'm stupid and a spoiled brat because I've yet to leave home. The state has told me I'm mentally ******ed. As for how my SO deals with it, he's insanely patient with me. He knows all of my problems, that I take medication, and that I'm pretty much just off with or without them and he's fine with it. He does become strict when I react to certain things the 'wrong way' (a couple months ago I found out I have loose ligaments that cause me to dislocate myself at random every day and I joked about being the best target for physical abuse since the joints go back into place on their own, he told me when he read that since it had been in an online journal, I "almost got a call from an angry black guy in a fedora at 2 am" ) and he does fuss, but for whatever reason he's yet to leave my side even knowing I'm not an easy person.

With his problems I deal with them the same way save the one time 3 weeks ago we both hit brick walls and I acted pretty rudely. Still he didn't blame me, apologized, and accepted my apology. I think it's easier to deal when you're both pretty screwed up even if it's not always in the same ways. You understand what it's like and you know essentially how you want someone to react and that's how you do. It's much harder when your loved one CAN'T understand, like my mom, because even things such as mild OCD or mild depression, clinical or no, is a hard thing to grasp. Physical impurities yeah we know those we can see them. It's the ones in our head you can't and it's intimidating. The best you can do is tell your SO what's wrong with you, or flaws you know will be major later on or even right now, and explain you've been this way a long while you can't help it and to please be understanding and at the very least not become angry with you. Let them do some 20 Questions about it, whatever, but you can't hide these things from people you want to spend forever with, especially if/when you live with them under the same roof.

[milaya]

I can understand your problem... very well.
I have slight OCDs.
Mine are hand washing (like yours) and then I have a think with cups/glasses... and gems overall.

Like you, I wash my hands all the time, I hate the feeling if I'm not 100 percent sure my hands are clean.
Especially cooking is a problem for me, since I often go to wash my hands between every ingredient. And like you, I carry a hand sanitizer with me.

I've had a problem with using cups/glasses since I was young. I always re-washed, a clean cup/glass before using it. And I always had a system to follow. First hot water, then cold water to cool it down and then shake it dry. (because I hate the thought of using towels to dry it)
I do that everywhere I am, if people is not watching me. If they are... I tell them I'm not thirsty.
A few years ago my mom got tired of that, and began buying plastic cups for me, so I could throw them out after use.

It took some time for my SO to realize it.
First he was like: "you know what, ever since I got here, I've never seen you drink from a glass/cup" Then I had to tell him the reason why and then I also told the thing with my hands. He took it quite relaxed. Only a few comments like "are you going to wash your hands again?" if I go to the bathroom during cooking dinner. Or:
"If you do that with cups... why not plates?"
"because I don't put plates in my mouth..."
"What about spoons/chopsticks/forks?"
"... (o.0) ... (hadn't thought about that)... Are you trying to give me more OCDs?!"

It doesn't seem to bother him at all.
But maybe it will, when we start living together in the future.
But, mine are also minor cases, only my closest friends know about it.
Where, like your cleaning one, affects your partner more. So it's a nice thing he is so understanding

[JoMarie]

I never realized this before, but I do wash glasses and cups before I use them unless they are plastic OI! Kevin knew about my OCD before we moved in together and I would never hide it from him! That would be too difficult, especially when I get so frustrated with my cleaning that I break down and cry about it. I think on some of our first visits he couldn't understand why I was so tense, and what was going on, even though he already knew my OCD's he didnt know the extent. Once he got used to them hes alright with them. It is great that hes so relaxed and understanding about it. Sounds like you are just as lucky Lady.

[folclor]

I'm glad your SO accepts it so well. ^^

Because of...certain incidents I have a panic disorder. It doesn't act up as much as it used to (I've been making myself get better) but it does sometimes still happen. When Alex and I met I'd spend hours every night in a panic over things that were hard to describe to another person. As my friend, he sat through it with me and would stay up even into the morning hours (sometimes 3-5 AM) to calm me down and talk things out with me. A lot of it had to do with abandonment and issues with out other people treated me. As I've said, I've gotten a lot better, it's rare that I panic nowadays, however sometimes I still do.

Depends on the situation but sometimes it's about things like...he's been busy so he hasn't been on but maybe thirty minutes to talk to me that week I start to think maybe he doesn't want to talk to me and then I start breathing hard, which leads to hyperventilating and then I start to cry, then full out panic where sometimes I text him until he talks back or I'll just sit there. Most times, whatever happens during the panic, I don't have memories after it hits until I calm down. There are other things, too. Being around guys I don't know freaks me out and being in a group of guys with no other girls makes it worse. Being in a group of girls (unless it's my close friends) makes me uncomfortable but doesn't panic me. Some people's personalities set me off because of certain memories and if there's someone who reminds me of the person who is tied to this disorder I panic even worse. There are other things about it I won't go into.

Alex deals with it fairly well. He gets really annoyed if he's told me he's going to be busy and that he won't be on and I tell him I'll be fine and then I freak, but he has good reason for that. Otherwise, if he knows something's about to set me off he'll try to prevent it and get in the way, start either talking me down or talking on another subject to distract me. If I get into full panic mode he will usually get on voice chat or video with me (because he very rarely sets me off these days, it's usually another factor) and he'll calm me down and we'll move on from there. I did have a panic while on my visit because of how far we tried to go. As soon as realized it, he stopped what he was doing, kissed my forehead and just held me, telling me it'd be okay. That one didn't last way too long, thankfully, and it wasn't too bad because he didn't keep going.

I won't go to a doctor or a therapist about this because I think I should deal with it on my own as it is my problem to deal with. I think I'll eventually get to the point that I won't have to experience them, but for now I have to deal. Alex always tries to make it easier for me in the situations and, though I don't remember everything that happens, I know he doesn't get angry about it or because of it. He's very supportive, though with the time spent getting better he expects me to panic less than I sometimes do ^^;; then again, I haven't had one since the visit, so we're good ;D

[Riyko]

I have 2 ICD (Impulse Control Disorders) which are categorized as a form of OCD just different name and I have an OCD

My ICD's are Trichotillomania (aka Trich) which is defined as hair pulling, yes you read that right I pull my hair, but from my scalp. It sucks and i've been trying to stop for some time, but i'm either not very good at it or I just suck at trying to stop. I do have some bald spots on my head, but you don't notice it unless I show you. They have a product called NAC which i'm going to try and people with Trich say it really helps with the impulses and you pull less and some have even stopped pulling altogether.

Onychophagia which is nail biting, I've been doing it since I was a kid and it's also according to researchers the underlying cause for a lot of other OCD's to come out. i hate this and i've tried stopping =/.

Now on to my OCD

Numbers, it may sound funny, but I hate odd numbers and i hate things that end in odd numbers, they make me uncomfortable and i'm always thinking of ways to make numbers even if I come across an odd number. I always have to have an even number of money, even number of keys on my keychain, but the only odd number i'm ok with is 5 because it's a middle number.

My ex really struggled to deal with my Trich (even though he has the same thing without realizing it except he pulls his hair from somewhere else), he did what ever he could to try and help me including giving me hints that I was pulling or keeping me distracted so I wouldn't pull. He also does the nail bitting like I do and he was kind of ok with it. He never knew about my OCD with numbers.

[Tanja]

I have a slight OCD that no-one really knows about except Andy lol ...

I like straight things. Every painting in my house has to be straight, all the carpets on the floor, all the blinds and curtains in my windows has to be lined up with the bottom edge of the windows. when I shovel snow in the winters the paths HAS to be straight or it drives me mad. Table cloths, sheets, just everything has to be straight and I don't really know why!

I hate odd numbers as well (I'm like Monk from the tv-show), my alarm clock has to ring either at 7.00, 7.05, 7.10, 7.15 etc but NEVER something like 7.08. Wow, I sound like a nutter

[LadyMarchHare]

I have 2 ICD (Impulse Control Disorders) which are categorized as a form of OCD just different name and I have an OCD

My ICD's are Trichotillomania (aka Trich) which is defined as hair pulling, yes you read that right I pull my hair, but from my scalp. It sucks and i've been trying to stop for some time, but i'm either not very good at it or I just suck at trying to stop. I do have some bald spots on my head, but you don't notice it unless I show you. They have a product called NAC which i'm going to try and people with Trich say it really helps with the impulses and you pull less and some have even stopped pulling altogether.

Onychophagia which is nail biting, I've been doing it since I was a kid and it's also according to researchers the underlying cause for a lot of other OCD's to come out. i hate this and i've tried stopping =/.

Now on to my OCD

Numbers, it may sound funny, but I hate odd numbers and i hate things that end in odd numbers, they make me uncomfortable and i'm always thinking of ways to make numbers even if I come across an odd number. I always have to have an even number of money, even number of keys on my keychain, but the only odd number i'm ok with is 5 because it's a middle number.

My ex really struggled to deal with my Trich (even though he has the same thing without realizing it except he pulls his hair from somewhere else), he did what ever he could to try and help me including giving me hints that I was pulling or keeping me distracted so I wouldn't pull. He also does the nail bitting like I do and he was kind of ok with it. He never knew about my OCD with numbers.

I had Trich for years, I had a huge bald spot on the back of my head and ate the roots off the hair. I still pick out my arm hair, but it's not so compulsively. The thing that fixed me was I had my hair cut short enough where I couldn't grasp the strands. Had my hair that way for almost 4 years and then grew it out, didn't do it anymore. Course if you don't want short hair don't do it, but it is something you can get over.

And I'm the same way with odd numbers. I can't have things be odd, it physically bothers me.

[folclor]

lol, I think I'm the odd one out, then ;P I love odd numbers ^^ always want to make things into pointy shapes. Also, have to rinse my mouth out 7 times after brushing my teeth ^^; lol

[ErinKristine]

Well how you explained your compulsions could have come directly from me.
However it is a little different, because my SO has very similar compulsions. Neither of use will the dishwasher, dishes have to be cleaned within an hour of them being used and even that's stretching it.
Sometimes my stuff is a little more intense than my SO's, like I've been really nervous or upset about things to the point that I can't even decide which way to cut a sandwich (bad I know) and he just helps me along and gets me to talk about what's going on.

[noodle]

Is biting nails an OCD as well? lol If yes than I do have one, yay haha

[JoMarie]

Numbers don't bother me all that much. I can't stand dishes out at all. I find myself cleaning them as soon as we're finished with them. I was things as I use them while I cook too, which makes my and washing look slightly better because If I use a knife, I was it, and then was and dry my hands..