Suddenly... I'm the jealous type?

[lilcupcake]

So.... I've NEVER been the jealous type. My boyfriend is the kind of guy who happens to have a lot of female friends. who cares? I happen to have a lot of male friends.
There is only ONE of those girls that can ruin my entire day. >.< I just hate the way she's always posting things to his facebook, and whenever he posts anything you can bet she comes up quick. His behavior towards her doesn't bother me at all. It probably doesn't help that she's his ex..
The other day, we got into a small spat about her. He deleted her of facebook, and she's gone. but he just wanted to know why it was only HER that i cant stand...
I would like to know too :/

Ramble ramble ramble.

[srtd35]

My SO has a lot of female friends also and like you Im not hte jealous type and it doesn't bother me. But he has a female friend like the one you described although they never dated. She drives me crazy posting how they are best friends and commenting on all his stuff. She never says anything inappropriate but for some reason she bothers me so much. I think it is mostly me being jealous that she can see him any time she wants and I can't.

[princessmaria]

I think it's obvious why. She's his ex...

[lea22]

I went through the same thing with one person in particular. Couldn't/can't warm to this girl at all, and although i trust my SO more than I could ever dream of trusting another person, I felt really weird and insecure when they were together.
In my case it wasn't the ex factor because there were other exes around that didn't bother me at all. To this day I can't explain it, but I did know they had dated before he told me, intuitively!! Very weird.

If he's willing to delete her to make you feel better, then I really wouldn't worry.

[ushiwakafox]

Idk, I'm sure it has a lot to do with the fact that she's his ex. But I feel like you should always trust your gut about things too, even if it doesn't really seem to have any logic to it.

I'm glad he's so ok with deleting her for you though. That says a lot

[Mairja]

I know I am the jealous type, and my SO knows too - I'm usually able to control it though, and I'm aware that it stems from my past and having had my trust badly broken. My SO's never done or said anything to make me distrust him either, quite the contrary, so it's pretty much all in my head. And yes, I too have issues with this one particular girl, one he had a bit of a fling with before we became a couple. No matter how hard I try, I cannot stop this feeling of deep distrust towards her, I have a gut feeling she's up to no good and that she'll make up stories to get his attention and to make him feel sorry for her. I don't know if they still keep in touch, he hasn't mentioned her in months, and she's not on FB - but I know they used to chat (as in typed conversations, not actually talking) on MSN/Skype every once in a while after him and me became a couple. And she'd be the one initiating the conversations too - once she told him she was going through a cancer scare and... yeah I can't help but feel that was a huge lie only to get his attention. Whenever he mentioned her to me, I couldn't help but go all quiet while on the inside I was raging. It's such a strong feeling too, the feeling that she can't be trusted and that she's got some kind of hidden agenda.

I really can't offer any good advice unfortunately. It seems your SO is understanding seeing as he deleted the girl from his FB, so yes, try not to worry too much.

[delightful]

I have never been a jealous/insecure person before doing a LDR either... but they tend to change all of that, which isn't too fun, haha. I trust my SO completely, would never doubt him for a second, and I'm quite positive that if he ever did slip up, he wouldn't have it in him to hide it from me. He's much too honest for that. Even so, I still get days where I just want him back over here 'cause I'm sick of knowing that everyone else can see him when I can't. It's not even jealousy over anyone in particular really, just everyone who gets to interact with him on a physical and daily basis! If he was one of those guys who went out all the time I'd probably start to get crazy insecure just 'cause of all the other women that would obviously get to see/chat to him without realizing he's taken. I think that's the hardest bit, not having a physical presence there to say he's taken, haha. LDRs can be tough! :P

[silvermoonfairy3]

Yup, I'm right there with you.
I've dated guys with female friends before and been totally fine with it, haven't been overly the jealous type.. this LD thing rolls around, and there's those little doubtlets about female friends, but, like you say.. ONE friend in particular. It always seems to be that there's one, lol.

With my guy, they didn't date, but I just get the feeling she wants to. I dunno, it's nothing I can pinpoint specifically, but in how she interacts with him, it's just this impression I get that she has a thing for him. So because I feel like she would date him if she could, I get a little paranoid because she's there and I'm not, so I feel like she has all these advantages for trying to like.. "win him over" or something.

My guy is fantastic, he's sweet, he's patient, he listens to my concerns if I bring up feeling a bit weird/jealous and reassures me, and I trust him. Yet, there's just some little insecurity over that one girl, that one friendship. But I try to remind myself of all the love and trust we have, and the fun we have, and remind myself that he's with me. And if he's with me, it's because he wants to be, and because we click and he enjoys my company on a different level than hers. So that kinda helps me try to keep things in perspective.

Sometimes if I'm feeling a twinge of jealousy over something small, instead of bringing it up with him, I'll write him an email with a funny story from my day, or send him a link to an interesting article I want to discuss with him. So that it just kinda reinforces the things he likes about me; our interaction time, the good debates we have about stuff, whatever.. kinda like, reminding him what it is about me that's great, and lets me work on enjoying our relationship instead of dwelling on their friendship.

But yeah.. there are days when it's definitely tough. I hear you! Good luck, and I know.. easier said than done, but try not to stress out about it too much.

[lilcupcake]

Glad to know I'm not alone on this, lol. I think a big part of it too is that she posts a lot of... revealing, pictures on facebook. I could never be that girl. and that girl is a lot closer to him then me...

[butlerfly]

I am going through exactly the same thing...

[lilcupcake]

your best bet is to calmly talk to your SO. (i could have done the "calm" thing a lot better, in my situation...) I wasn't proud of myself at all.

[dandelion]

I am not type of a big jealouse girl but i would go jealouse if such thing happened. It gets worst when his ex is doing so, but i think no matter who was she you are just going jealouse becouse you know she is closer to him then you. I know you trust your boy but its super dsjds feeling, isnt it?

[lilcupcake]

omg yes! drftgyhu is the perfect way to explain it!