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    #1

    After visit...

    Hi. Before two days I came home after a month spent with my SO in his place. When we were saying goodbye to each other everything was ok, he kissed me passionately (and if you read one of my previous threads you know that he NEVER kisses me like this!), said something like "be back soon dear", we talked on skype the same day when I got home and everything was OK. But the day after, it was yesterday, everything started to be different. He won't answer my messages, or answer them with just like one word, we talked on skype like half an hour and it was a little awkward, then he said "I'll call you in the evening" and hang up, of course he didn't call. When I messaged him that I've got a toothache and I'll better go to bed, all he wrote was "gn".
    I hate this behaviour, I hate that I don't know what's wrong and I hate that he won't talk to me because it makes me miss him even more. Do you have any ideas what could cause this kind of behaviour? I also thought about talking to one old lady who's like grandmother to him, I know he was skyping with her yesterday, maybe he told her something?
    Any ideas? I'm confused
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    #2
    Everyone deals with sadness (or missing their SO's) differently. Give him time. If it really worries you then you should talk to him about it.

    "True love isn't about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated."
    Married April 18th, 2015!!
    Distance Closed October 4th, 2015!!

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      #3
      Originally posted by Mims27 View Post
      Everyone deals with sadness (or missing their SO's) differently. Give him time. If it really worries you then you should talk to him about it.
      I agree with this. LDR isn't easy on anyone

      Now that i come to think of it... Every now and then I do this as well. I push my SO away and get distanced towards him because its just easier than missing him.
      I know it is wrong so I try not do do that anymore since I realised it.
      Last edited by SJ22; September 12, 2013, 07:57 AM.
      "If you say you can't, you just don't want to"

      Comment

        #4
        I also thought it is maybe his way to deal with missing me, but the thing is I can't be sure, and that's what is killing me :/ I'm not still completely secure in the relationship, so you imagine I have all the bad thought on my mind right now...

        Comment

          #5
          I understand but to hype yourself up thinking of the worst case scenario is not really going to make him answer you,the situation better or make you feel any better. Like Mims said,everyone deals with separation from their SOs in different ways. He could be feeling some depression right now because if you think about it realistically you guys just spent every minute together and were in the same place for a month. It's really hard to deal with having someone around everyday for that long just for them to leave. I know after my SO left on our visit earlier this year before we closed the distance,we were together for almost 2 months. When he left it tore me apart and I distanced myself from everyone and went through being depressed to the point of barely eating for almost a week and a half. It can and does happen. Separation after being together for a month is hard. Just give him some time and if he doesn't come around then sit him down and talk to him.

          ♥ In 666 Ways I Love You & My Heaven Is Wherever You Are. I'm For You. ♥

          We Met: June 9,2010
          Back Together: August 1,2012
          First Visit: September 21,2012 - September 29,2012
          Second Visit: January 13,2013 - February 24,2013
          Engaged: January 17,2013
          Closed The Distance-MS - AZ: June 15th,2013
          Moved To FL Together: November 14,2013
          We Got Married! - July 3,2014
          SO Graduated College - August 7,2015
          Moved to Ky - August 10, 2015

          Comment

            #6
            Thank you. I won't pressure him to communicate with me and I'll try to be patient. Plus maybe it's a good thing to get used to not talking every day the whole day, because I'm starting university next week and I won't have time for it... He isn't very open when it comes to talking about his feelings, so I guess when I'll give him some time to get used to that I'm not around will make things better. How long do you think I should give him? I thought about till the end of the week...

            Comment

              #7
              My SO and I handle the feelings after a visit extremely different. I become clingy, and he becomes distant. It took me a long time to realize that this is just who he is, and this is just his way of processing the distance again. I shouldn't take it personally because eventually he always returns to being his normal self. It sounds like your SO may process his feelings in a similar way to mine. Like everyone else said, give him time to readjust. Only you can decide how much time is enough, but I would have patience with him especially if he doesn't usually communicate his feelings well.

              Comment

                #8
                I agree with everyone else...let him cope for the time being and I'm sure he'll come around when he's ready. If you're REALLY starting to worry about it and it begins driving you crazy, just bring it up with him gently and ask him if he's okay, if he wants to talk about it, etc. If he doesn't and it continues, then you should seriously talk to him about it, but I think it's just his way of dealing with missing you

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