Struggling...

[misosoup]

Hey, everyone!

I'm having such a rough few days. My boyfriend works extremely long hours and doesn't have much time to talk except for a 25 minutes conversation after work and a few minutes before bed. I have been working on being okay with this for awhile and while I was doing well, this week I seemed to have hit a real snag with my progress.

I think my struggle is do with the fact that the last time I saw him, right before I left, he was complaining about the distance and about how he gets stressed when i'm there for the weekend because we have such a short amount of time and don't get to do very much. He explained he doesn't want to break up, but was expressing how he felt about the distance.

I was really looking forward to spending time this weekend talking to him, but he has been busy with family stuff. Hes been kind of short with his texting and idknow I jus feel kind of abandoned.

He has expressed his doubts to me about our relationship very intensely before. Therefore, I typically do not express to him my doubts because whats the point of just making everything worse? When he expresses doubts it just makes mine magnified so I dont want to worsen his by expressing mine. But it SUCKS you know?

I can't help but feel that he is going to forget about me or meet someone up there who is closer and more convenient to have a relationship with. We have been together through a lot of personal suffering (death and other personal things) so we have a very strong bond, but i Feel like that bond can only carry you so far.


Do you guys ever have weeks where its a little busier than usual for ya'll so you dont get to talk more. IDknow i just am super depressed today and it would really help if he'd be a better texter. Its so selfish that I wish he would just not do his family things and just stay in and talk to me all day. I know thats selfish but i cant help it !!!!

[haley]

I know exactly what you're talking about. Whenever my boyfriend is busy I always become super needy and just want him to drop everything he's doing to talk to me. But instead, whenever he's busy I just spend the time writing a letter that I'll mail to him or something. In the meantime, don't stress thinking that he's going to meet someone else because then you'll make yourself more upset. The next time that he has a good amount of time to talk ask him about what you can do to make it easier on him and tell him that you need a little more attention because you really miss talking to him. Good luck and I hope it gets better

[Kitty Boo]

I know what you mean ... sometimes when my S.O goes away and he has very bad reception and internet, I miss him a lot and just feel lost without him. I find if you work on something you like, or work on something for him, it makes it a little better. It switches your mind to more positive thoughts of your relationship, rather than letting your mind drive you crazy with bad thoughts. Another thing you could consider doing is keeping a diary / blog about your relationship and sharing it with him sometime ... then you get everything off your chest, and he'd be able to understand what it's like for you. When you say that you're worried that expressing your doubts or problems will make his worse, I'd probably say that you should express your problems. If you act like everything's fine, and he feels like he's the only one with fears, he might think that you aren't as into the relationship as he is. Share them, and overcome them. They might bring you closer and make you stronger.

As for his communication issues ... some people are just less talkative than others. But you could try asking him to give you a call at a certain time, or send you a short recording or something to make it easier for you. Once again, I'd be tempted to say that you should let him know how you feel. If he doesn't know the problems, how can he solve them? Good luck, I hope this gets better for you!

[Chris516]

I can sort of identify. My SO n' I used to talk all the time. Like you wishing her would be a better texter, I wish my fiance would be a better communicator.