Starting to get nervous about my boyfriend moving here.

[katiecat08]

Boyfriend is driving today and should arrive in NC tonight. My mom keeps telling me that I might not see him as much as I want because he's got to find a job and he'll still be feeding his employers horses morning and night. She keeps trying to tell me that he's 21 and has a lot to experience. Its driving me nuts. She claims she likes him a lot yet keeps telling me not to be too clingy etc. I've asked him a million times to please tell me if I am and he's always said I'm not. I'm nervous because now that he'll be close by, I feel my mom is going to drive him nuts with her opinions and comments and I'm scared he's going to not want to be around my family. I understand that he's got to find a job cause that's the whole reason for him getting here. I just wish my mom would not try to burst my excitement bubble about him coming. Its like she's trying to lecture me. :/

[sarahjane1992]

I would LOVE if my SO were moving here but I can totally understand why you're nervous. I'd be nervous too. I can somewhat see what she's saying. Just because he lives near you means it would be easy to get clingy because you haven't seen him in a while.
My mom would probably say the same sort of thing.
They try to help. But don't understand how it makes us feel sometimes. I totally get that. I hope it all goes well for you and your SO!

[kayla_622]

I think that you will see him as often as any other CD couple see's each other. I'm not sure if you have a job but, he does. You'll get to seem him in his downtime and that may not be 24/7 like you would hope but, a few hours a day CD is better than not having him there at all.


Just try to go with the flow. Things will happen as they are supposed to. If you are really craving his time then let him know that and maybe you two can work something out that will help you feel better.

[katiecat08]

Thanks. I know it's definitely going to be a big change going from a 1500 mile distance to just a few. And I know I'll definitely have to keep myself in check for clingyness because I really don't want to start that.

[mllebamako]

She claims she likes him a lot yet keeps telling me not to be too clingy etc. I've asked him a million times to please tell me if I am and he's always said I'm not.

This, to me, IS being clingy. Or at least it is going to annoy the other person. Have you ever had someone ask you a few dozen times what's wrong? Or if you are mad at them? Yeah, it gets old.

But anyway....it's normal to be nervous about closing the distance. Don't expect rainbows and unicorns and you'll be fine. You guys have been together for 4-5 months, right? Imagine how much time a non-LDR couple of 4 months spends together and then try to go along with that. Give him space to find work, keep yourself busy so he doesn't feel like you need him all of the time, and then just ENJOY being close distance to him.

[srtd35]

I am sure you will see each other a lot to begin with and then you will both find your routine for what works for you. Some couples like to be together in all of their free time and others don't but I am sure you will find what works for both of you.

[squeeker]

Yeah I think people have all given you pretty good advice. I think I'd be nervous too as the date drew nearer for my SO and I to close the distance. I think what others have said is good, that maybe take your mom's advice but only as trying to be open to all possibilities.. don't expect to spend every minute or hour with him, he will probably want to make friends and have some sort of life as well. It varies person to person. Like my SO and I are pretty clingy to each other at times but it works for us, though we also have to give each other space to breathe, I guess it's about finding the right balance. And since this is a change, it might take awhile to find that new balance. It will be important for both of you to find what works best for you both and to talk about what's working and what's not. Things might be bumpy first of all, but try not taking it personally, he's moving to a new place for you, so it's going to be stressful and he'll be out of his comfort zone most likely, so give him time and space to breathe but be available for when he wants to talk and hang out, because he'll likely want to hang out with you a lot too because that's why he's moving closer to you, right?

Just take a deep breath and relax, you're going to be so close to him soon, if you aren't already (I'm not sure what time you said he was arriving) and you'll have lots of time together so try not to freak out. On the other hand, I'm sure he'll understand a little freak out just as much as you would understand if he freaked out. Take it as it comes is probably the best advice. Oh yeah, and enjoy not having to worry about distance!!