So, I just joined and I'll be rather honest, this post is the only reason I did. I need advice. But mostly I need to know if I am being irrational (which I know I am) or not.
First of all, sorry if this is a bit incoherent, but I am still a bit upset about it.
Me and my girlfriend have been together for 6 months now, I am a guy and she is a gall, and I have quite an issue with jealousy. We are both students and we have never met.
There are several things I have had trouble with in the relationship:
1- We talk on skype, and I see every time we videochat as a date. In the beginning, she would talk to other people while we were videochating too, and i can hear her type. Mostly guys, and that made me feel bad. I mean, i saw it as us being on a date and she talking to someone else, and to me, that meant that I wasnt having her full attention, so I voiced this and told her how much it bothered me, and that if she wanted to talk to someone else she could tell me she was busy and didnt want to call. She agreed on this, but ever since she has done it a few times more, even though she knows it bothers me.
2-She has been meeting new people, which I think is great, her social life isnt that good. But, I am way too jealous. I think it's mostly because I have never had a female friend, so her having so many male friends is weird to me. I dont fear she is cheating, I trust her, I am just kinda afraid she will realize they are better than me and I will lose her. I'll give a few examples.
a)She met a guy who contacted her on tumblr saying he wanted to meet her, so she asked my advice and I told her to go for it, after all, I do want her to be happy, and her social life isnt that good. So, they went for a coffee and a walk. I thought it would take like 2 hours or so, but they were together for 6 hours. And they had dinner together. Oh, and guess what, before the "date", it turns out the dude has moved in to her apartment. Coincidences! And after the date, guess what, he is single now! I guess it kinda bummed me off that they spent so much time together and had dinner together. I dunno.
b)She went to a concert with a friend of her and arranged to meet a guy who makes webcomics of whom she is a great fan. Thing is, she was drunk and in a foreign city which apparently has a huge crime rate so I asked her to say something once in a while so I dont get worried, to which she agreed and did for most of the day. We were talking and she said that the girl she was with, who knew the layout of the place and the city had disappeared on her, last thing she said after that was "damn", and then nothing for one hour. I was worried sick, thinking she got lost or maybe something had happened, turns out no, she had met up with the guy and he apparently "doesn't like it when people use phones near him". I got mad and we argued, I told her that if the roles were inverted she would be worried too and she agreed, and I was kinda sad that she valued his feelings about using phones near him more than my feelings of worry. I did not want a long conversation, i understand she is with him so she should talk to him, but an "I'm fine" would do.
For clarification, this whole thing bums me off. I feel like I am being paranoid, jealous and controlling. I have never told her not to hang out with someone, and it's usually me that pushes her towards it, since her social life isn't that good. I try not to voice my feelings towards it but apparently It's quite obvious, and i get worried sick that I'll lose her. She has said that if it bothers me then she will stop meeting up with them but I said no, I don't want to make her miss out on meeting new people.
Now this leads us to this.
Yesterday she started talking to an old friend, I first found out about it from a blog post from her saying that he was cool. I got to my room at around 22:00 and i called her on skype and she picked up and we talked for a bit. She moved to a new university and her timetables are hectic and she usually has to wake up at 06:40 in the mornings (04:40 my time) so I try my best to make sure she gets enough sleep, which isn't easy, since before she moved to this university we talked a lot more and would stay up watching shows and stuff, which I miss, but she needs her sleep so whatever. Since she was waking up at 6:40 the next day, I told her she should go to bed at 11:00PM, and since i didnt really have any classes that day, I decided to go out with some friends since she was going to bed soon anyway. I came back home at 02:00 (04:00) her time and she was still awake. Apparently they had been talking until almost bloody 4 AM her time. I got mad. I got mad because she told me she was going to sleep soon and didnt to talk to some dude, and I got mad because I miss those long nights until late with her and I try my best to get her to sleep early and I end up missing out on that, and first chance she gets, she stays up all night to talk to him. I wanted to be the one staying up late with her. She didnt get enough sleep so she missed that class (she can go again later that week). If I had known she was staying up I wouldnt have gone out since I much prefer to be with her.
And today. I had a busy morning and as soon as i got that out of the way I came home and called her on skype and we mostly talked for the rest of the day, with some breaks when she had to go to the supermarket and to some classes. We did the usual routine of browsing the internet sharing cool links, talking and watching shows. Yet, she seemed distant. She kept looking at the corner of her screen, a billion times, which was weird since she never done that before. Turns out that I was right in feeling she was distant, she was looking at the skype icon to see if the dude had said something to her, and she talked to her a bit while we were skyping even though she knew it bothered me. I confronted her about the whole thing and now she started crying and feeling bad saying she is a terrible girlfriend.
I feel terrible, I made her cry with my jealousy and made her feel bad and i feel like the worst boyfriend in the world.
Oh yeah, and she and that dude are meeting up Thursday for the first time. Cool uh?
So yeah, sorry for the lenghty post, sorry for all the rambling. I needed to vent and I just want to know what I should do, if i have any right to feel upset about all this or if I am overreacting about everything.
First of all, sorry if this is a bit incoherent, but I am still a bit upset about it.
Me and my girlfriend have been together for 6 months now, I am a guy and she is a gall, and I have quite an issue with jealousy. We are both students and we have never met.
There are several things I have had trouble with in the relationship:
1- We talk on skype, and I see every time we videochat as a date. In the beginning, she would talk to other people while we were videochating too, and i can hear her type. Mostly guys, and that made me feel bad. I mean, i saw it as us being on a date and she talking to someone else, and to me, that meant that I wasnt having her full attention, so I voiced this and told her how much it bothered me, and that if she wanted to talk to someone else she could tell me she was busy and didnt want to call. She agreed on this, but ever since she has done it a few times more, even though she knows it bothers me.
2-She has been meeting new people, which I think is great, her social life isnt that good. But, I am way too jealous. I think it's mostly because I have never had a female friend, so her having so many male friends is weird to me. I dont fear she is cheating, I trust her, I am just kinda afraid she will realize they are better than me and I will lose her. I'll give a few examples.
a)She met a guy who contacted her on tumblr saying he wanted to meet her, so she asked my advice and I told her to go for it, after all, I do want her to be happy, and her social life isnt that good. So, they went for a coffee and a walk. I thought it would take like 2 hours or so, but they were together for 6 hours. And they had dinner together. Oh, and guess what, before the "date", it turns out the dude has moved in to her apartment. Coincidences! And after the date, guess what, he is single now! I guess it kinda bummed me off that they spent so much time together and had dinner together. I dunno.
b)She went to a concert with a friend of her and arranged to meet a guy who makes webcomics of whom she is a great fan. Thing is, she was drunk and in a foreign city which apparently has a huge crime rate so I asked her to say something once in a while so I dont get worried, to which she agreed and did for most of the day. We were talking and she said that the girl she was with, who knew the layout of the place and the city had disappeared on her, last thing she said after that was "damn", and then nothing for one hour. I was worried sick, thinking she got lost or maybe something had happened, turns out no, she had met up with the guy and he apparently "doesn't like it when people use phones near him". I got mad and we argued, I told her that if the roles were inverted she would be worried too and she agreed, and I was kinda sad that she valued his feelings about using phones near him more than my feelings of worry. I did not want a long conversation, i understand she is with him so she should talk to him, but an "I'm fine" would do.
For clarification, this whole thing bums me off. I feel like I am being paranoid, jealous and controlling. I have never told her not to hang out with someone, and it's usually me that pushes her towards it, since her social life isn't that good. I try not to voice my feelings towards it but apparently It's quite obvious, and i get worried sick that I'll lose her. She has said that if it bothers me then she will stop meeting up with them but I said no, I don't want to make her miss out on meeting new people.
Now this leads us to this.
Yesterday she started talking to an old friend, I first found out about it from a blog post from her saying that he was cool. I got to my room at around 22:00 and i called her on skype and she picked up and we talked for a bit. She moved to a new university and her timetables are hectic and she usually has to wake up at 06:40 in the mornings (04:40 my time) so I try my best to make sure she gets enough sleep, which isn't easy, since before she moved to this university we talked a lot more and would stay up watching shows and stuff, which I miss, but she needs her sleep so whatever. Since she was waking up at 6:40 the next day, I told her she should go to bed at 11:00PM, and since i didnt really have any classes that day, I decided to go out with some friends since she was going to bed soon anyway. I came back home at 02:00 (04:00) her time and she was still awake. Apparently they had been talking until almost bloody 4 AM her time. I got mad. I got mad because she told me she was going to sleep soon and didnt to talk to some dude, and I got mad because I miss those long nights until late with her and I try my best to get her to sleep early and I end up missing out on that, and first chance she gets, she stays up all night to talk to him. I wanted to be the one staying up late with her. She didnt get enough sleep so she missed that class (she can go again later that week). If I had known she was staying up I wouldnt have gone out since I much prefer to be with her.
And today. I had a busy morning and as soon as i got that out of the way I came home and called her on skype and we mostly talked for the rest of the day, with some breaks when she had to go to the supermarket and to some classes. We did the usual routine of browsing the internet sharing cool links, talking and watching shows. Yet, she seemed distant. She kept looking at the corner of her screen, a billion times, which was weird since she never done that before. Turns out that I was right in feeling she was distant, she was looking at the skype icon to see if the dude had said something to her, and she talked to her a bit while we were skyping even though she knew it bothered me. I confronted her about the whole thing and now she started crying and feeling bad saying she is a terrible girlfriend.
I feel terrible, I made her cry with my jealousy and made her feel bad and i feel like the worst boyfriend in the world.
Oh yeah, and she and that dude are meeting up Thursday for the first time. Cool uh?
So yeah, sorry for the lenghty post, sorry for all the rambling. I needed to vent and I just want to know what I should do, if i have any right to feel upset about all this or if I am overreacting about everything.
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