Hi guys! I've been a lurker for a couple weeks now but at this point I'm really feeling the need to seek some feedback from people in situations that are or have been somewhat similar to mine.
My SO and I have been together for just over a year now, and have made plans to meet twice so far.
The first time was supposed to be in June for a week long visit, however because he had just been promoted to a new position at work he was mandated to stay in New York for a six week long training period. I was absolutely gutted when he told me he couldn't come the night before his scheduled flight. But we agreed that he would come visit in August after his training was complete. Throughout that period, I was pretty depressed but remained supportive of him by texting him when I could and by calling him each night during his breaks at work. Things were difficult because he was working a graveyard shift and as a result would sleep during the day, limiting the amount of contact we could have with one another. It was a less than ideal situation but I had unshakable faith in our relationship and was determined to make it work.
Unfortunately, in late August his grandfather fell ill and began having recurring strokes. As a result, he was forced to cancel his trip to see me the day before his flight yet again. Like the first time, I have remained supportive of him throughout this truly difficult time. We are keeping in touch via text and I have dinner delivered to the hospital for him and his family regularly. I feel such a need to not be selfish by burdening him with my concerns about the future of our relationship right now and to just be there for him since I know how close he's always been with his grandpa.
Yet this whole situation makes me feel completely useless as a girlfriend, as I am not there to hug, kiss and comfort my SO. At the moment we have no future plans to meet. More importantly, I feel as though I am subconsciously harboring some resentment towards my SO for the disappointment and pure heartbreak I experienced in the weeks after both of his justifiable cancellations. I'm in such a confusing place mentally and emotionally right now. My SO is my best friend and I desperately want a future with him. So I guess what I'm looking for is some advice or insight from anyone who can relate. I apologize for the length of this post and thank you for reading.
My SO and I have been together for just over a year now, and have made plans to meet twice so far.
The first time was supposed to be in June for a week long visit, however because he had just been promoted to a new position at work he was mandated to stay in New York for a six week long training period. I was absolutely gutted when he told me he couldn't come the night before his scheduled flight. But we agreed that he would come visit in August after his training was complete. Throughout that period, I was pretty depressed but remained supportive of him by texting him when I could and by calling him each night during his breaks at work. Things were difficult because he was working a graveyard shift and as a result would sleep during the day, limiting the amount of contact we could have with one another. It was a less than ideal situation but I had unshakable faith in our relationship and was determined to make it work.
Unfortunately, in late August his grandfather fell ill and began having recurring strokes. As a result, he was forced to cancel his trip to see me the day before his flight yet again. Like the first time, I have remained supportive of him throughout this truly difficult time. We are keeping in touch via text and I have dinner delivered to the hospital for him and his family regularly. I feel such a need to not be selfish by burdening him with my concerns about the future of our relationship right now and to just be there for him since I know how close he's always been with his grandpa.
Yet this whole situation makes me feel completely useless as a girlfriend, as I am not there to hug, kiss and comfort my SO. At the moment we have no future plans to meet. More importantly, I feel as though I am subconsciously harboring some resentment towards my SO for the disappointment and pure heartbreak I experienced in the weeks after both of his justifiable cancellations. I'm in such a confusing place mentally and emotionally right now. My SO is my best friend and I desperately want a future with him. So I guess what I'm looking for is some advice or insight from anyone who can relate. I apologize for the length of this post and thank you for reading.
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